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I Think Terms Like "Dating" Are Extremely Unromantic!

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s0me0nesmind1 said:
The most successful people in life - both romanticly and monetarily - are the people who are least afraid of failures.
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I like that sentiment, and I agree with it to a certain extent. But romantic failure and financial failure aren't exactly on the same plane imo.

Romantic failure a person will get over. Time heals all wounds. Financial failure can gut you for life.

Have you ever watched American Greed? Have you looked at the faces of those poor people who worked their entire lives to save a few hundred thousand bucks only to have to taken by a con? They're gutted to the bottom of their souls.
 
Getting ready to head out on a date right now. Meeting near the High Line park in the city for a long walk and then getting hot chocolate in the Village area of Manhattan.
 
dasherHampton said:
I like that sentiment, and I agree with it to a certain extent. But romantic failure and financial failure aren't exactly on the same plane imo.

Romantic failure a person will get over. Time heals all wounds. Financial failure can gut you for life.

Have you ever watched American Greed? Have you looked at the faces of those poor people who worked their entire lives to save a few hundred thousand bucks only to have to taken by a con? They're gutted to the bottom of their souls.
Click to expand...

Getting a little deep here - but I guess I meant more from a perspective of investing.

Working a standard job (blue collar, white collar, etc...) is as safe as safe can get.

Our system is designed to reward people who do risk with investments. That doesn't mean toss your life savings into random penny stocks, but I wish I had the balls to have called TSLA 5 years ago. Or bought into the bitcoin hype. Anyhow, I think the main difference is risk does not mean being stupid. Just like you can be risky with asking out many women - but you should still have the smarts to detect things like body language that says she isn't into you.



The poor people I've known over the years (and believe me, I've known plenty) are just filled with BAD decisions. Not RISKY decisions. The closest thing they ever did as far as risk was playing the lottery.... which mathematically, isn't really risk so much as just not a smart idea. They are also the types to do things like loving to pay stuff on a monthly basis instead of cheaper for yearly, etc.. etc... Anyhow, not commenting on how to fix our issues with the poor, just relating it back to my statement on risk = reward, but that doesn't mean stupid decisions.
 
Fanatical Meat said:
that video is super simplified and stylized however it is spot on.
State your intentions (keep it brief), don’t be Uber accommodating (mysterious as presented, personally I prefer you have value), move on if it doesn’t work.
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Yup! Be clear about whether you want to date or just be friends. If you tell a girl you just want to hang out, then what she hears is "well, he doesn't want to date me" (according to the highly scientific work of asking my wife & her friends these questions lol). And like you said, it's a red light/green light situation. If it doesn't work, out, move on! Unfortunately, a lot of guys get super rude when they feel rejected, which creates a whole defense cycle on both sides, which then turns into culture, which makes things difficult all the way around, especially if you're already nervous about asking someone out & worried about getting rejected. Learning how to handle rejection well was a big step up for me in the dating world, not that I would get super rude about it, but that I would take it personally & feel bad about it. Once I accepted that hey, it's OK if they don't want to go on a date & that's fine because that's their choice, it wasn't so big of a deal! Feels huge, but isn't in practice!
 
dasherHampton said:
I like that sentiment, and I agree with it to a certain extent. But romantic failure and financial failure aren't exactly on the same plane imo.

Romantic failure a person will get over. Time heals all wounds. Financial failure can gut you for life.

Have you ever watched American Greed? Have you looked at the faces of those poor people who worked their entire lives to save a few hundred thousand bucks only to have to taken by a con? They're gutted to the bottom of their souls.
Click to expand...
Romance is the reason gold-diggers, both male and female, are successful at what they do. Because Romantic fantasies lead to the presumption of "saintliness" due to "true love" but then the sucker is given "da business end" of marriage and have to divorce, often looking like the bad guy when they are actually the victim.

Romantic compatibility is partially a biological lottery. Oftentimes, the "scent" of the other is truly irresistible when a pair of lovebirds are truly in love. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199603/the-smell-love
 
Torn Mind said:
Romance is the reason gold-diggers, both male and female, are successful at what they do. Because Romantic fantasies lead to the presumption of "saintliness" due to "true love" but then the sucker is given "da business end" of marriage and have to divorce, often looking like the bad guy when they are actually the victim.

Romantic compatibility is partially a biological lottery. Oftentimes, the "scent" of the other is truly irresistible when a pair of lovebirds are truly in love. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199603/the-smell-love
Click to expand...

this is true however let’s circle back to this post.

I Think Terms Like "Dating" Are Extremely Unromantic!

Terms like "date" and "dating" are extremely formal. You shouldn't ask a girl if she wants to "go out on a date", you should ask "do you want to HANG OUT" And if you and her are hanging out frequently and you have a romance you shouldn't tell people you guys are "dating" you should say you...
forums.anandtech.com forums.anandtech.com

Be concise with your expectations, don’t cloud things with maybe...
Be mysterious or as I said have value. Your time has value and it shouldn’t be wasted.
Finally don’t get butt hurt when you get turned down because it will happen.
 
dasherHampton said:
I like that sentiment, and I agree with it to a certain extent. But romantic failure and financial failure aren't exactly on the same plane imo.

Romantic failure a person will get over. Time heals all wounds. Financial failure can gut you for life.

Have you ever watched American Greed? Have you looked at the faces of those poor people who worked their entire lives to save a few hundred thousand bucks only to have to taken by a con? They're gutted to the bottom of their souls.
Click to expand...

I'm not so sure about that. I once broke up with somebody in middle school and I haven't dated since.
 
There are a number of users here who hasn't dated many people (or any at all), and it's their life to live that way.

However, I can't imagine giving up all the experiences that came from dating/relationships/marriage. The good, the bad, and the ugly of it all, I wouldn't have wanted to do it any other way.
 
snoopy7548 said:
I'm not so sure about that. I once broke up with somebody in middle school and I haven't dated since.
Click to expand...

Ok, maybe not everyone gets over it but let me put it another way:

Love and loss is part of universal law. There's a certain logic to it that makes sense to everyone, even if only at a deep, subconscious level.

Working 30, 40 , 50 years to amass a certain amount of wealth and suddenly having it be irrevocably gone overnight? Dragging yourself to work day after day after day to add to it in tiny slivers only to have it disappear forever?

There's no universal logic in that, nothing to help a person make their peace. No "code" that can help you put the pieces back together. It's irregular and will leave you an empty husk for the rest of your life.

Unless you get the money back somehow. Here's the real question: what do you think a 60 year old would rather have back?

The love of their lives who broke up with them when they were a junior in high school or the $350,000 stolen from them in a Ponzi scheme?
 
dasherHampton said:
Ok, maybe not everyone gets over it but let me put it another way:

Love and loss is part of universal law. There's a certain logic to it that makes sense to everyone, even if only at a deep, subconscious level.

Working 30, 40 , 50 years to amass a certain amount of wealth and suddenly having it be irrevocably gone overnight? Dragging yourself to work day after day after day to add to it in tiny slivers only to have it disappear forever?

There's no universal logic in that, nothing to help a person make their peace. No "code" that can help you put the pieces back together. It's irregular and will leave you an empty husk for the rest of your life.

Unless you get the money back somehow. Here's the real question: what do you think a 60 year old would rather have back?

The love of their lives who broke up with them when they were a junior in high school or the $350,000 stolen from them in a Ponzi scheme?
Click to expand...

It's the same reason kids today have tons of emotional issues and anxiety over every little thing like talking to someone new.

Parents that are bulldozing their way through the forest for them doesn't teach them how to rationally act, think, and react in life. Everything is a hurdle, and everything is an obstacle that you can't pass because you never learned how to avoid obstacles yourself.
 
I kind of miss the "free love 60's" when "Hi, I'm Boomer, wanna ball?" was about all you needed to get laid. Of course, you MIGHT get a bit more than you bargained for...like a shot of penicillin or a couple of bottles of A200 crab treatment...

I haven't "dated" since 1974 when my wife and I met...although, working out of town like I did for so many years, I had plenty of offers.
 
dasherHampton said:
Ok, maybe not everyone gets over it but let me put it another way:

Love and loss is part of universal law. There's a certain logic to it that makes sense to everyone, even if only at a deep, subconscious level.

Working 30, 40 , 50 years to amass a certain amount of wealth and suddenly having it be irrevocably gone overnight? Dragging yourself to work day after day after day to add to it in tiny slivers only to have it disappear forever?

There's no universal logic in that, nothing to help a person make their peace. No "code" that can help you put the pieces back together. It's irregular and will leave you an empty husk for the rest of your life.

Unless you get the money back somehow. Here's the real question: what do you think a 60 year old would rather have back?

The love of their lives who broke up with them when they were a junior in high school or the $350,000 stolen from them in a Ponzi scheme?
Click to expand...

You need to compare apples to apples. We could flip this around and say, "What would a 60 year old rather have back? The $2000 they made in high school but lost, or their wife of 40 years who just died?"

I think any rational person would rather lose $350,000 than the person they've been married to for 40+ years.
 
Gizmo j said:
Terms like "date" and "dating" are extremely formal.

You shouldn't ask a girl if she wants to "go out on a date", you should ask "do you want to HANG OUT"

And if you and her are hanging out frequently and you have a romance you shouldn't tell people you guys are "dating" you should say you guys are "SEEING EACHOTHER".

Asking a girl out on a "date" to me is just like asking "Can I kiss you on Saturday night" -_- You're not suppose to "schedule" things like that!

Another thing I hate is when someone says this is our "anniversary" when you're not married, anniversaries are for married people!
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I'm with you, you hit the nail squarely on the head. It's an old fashioned term. Hip people don't date. A better term you hear is "seeing someone," but it's not great, but it's a lot better. I've never used those terms, "dating," and never had an anniversary! Ya just gotta think outside the box.

Thanks for the post/thread!
 
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