I Shot the Sheriff!

Jeff7181

Lifer
Aug 21, 2002
18,368
11
81
Originally posted by: Nebor
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Eat him.

I'm not that hungry right now, could I maybe put most of him in the freezer?

Yes, but chop him up first and get a Foodsaver so he doesn't get freezer burn.
 

JoeKing

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,641
1
81
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mom to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs.

You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig $hit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
 

Nebor

Lifer
Jun 24, 2003
29,582
12
76
Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Originally posted by: Nebor
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Eat him.

I'm not that hungry right now, could I maybe put most of him in the freezer?

Yes, but chop him up first and get a Foodsaver so he doesn't get freezer burn.

Would you serve him at a party at your house? If so, I'm there.

Sheriff snacks?
 

pyonir

Lifer
Dec 18, 2001
40,856
321
126
Originally posted by: JoeKing
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mom to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs.

You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig $hit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
:thumbsup:
 

Jeff7181

Lifer
Aug 21, 2002
18,368
11
81
Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Originally posted by: Nebor
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Eat him.

I'm not that hungry right now, could I maybe put most of him in the freezer?

Yes, but chop him up first and get a Foodsaver so he doesn't get freezer burn.

Would you serve him at a party at your house? If so, I'm there.

Sure, but what kind of dip goes with Sheriff?
 

pyonir

Lifer
Dec 18, 2001
40,856
321
126
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Originally posted by: Nebor
Originally posted by: Jeff7181
Eat him.

I'm not that hungry right now, could I maybe put most of him in the freezer?

Yes, but chop him up first and get a Foodsaver so he doesn't get freezer burn.

Would you serve him at a party at your house? If so, I'm there.

Sure, but what kind of dip goes with Sheriff?

Bacon Dip.