I read this at Tom's...to damn funny :)

Dean

Platinum Member
Oct 10, 1999
2,757
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#1
Renowned Geneticist Declares Fat People Best Lovers

Fourth of July story number 2.

Apparently not satisfied with his co-discovery of the structure of DNA -- certainly one of humanity?s seminal achievements -- Nobel Prize winning geneticist Dr. James Watson has now turned his eyes to one of today?s most important topics, fat people and sex.

The hormone MSH is the key to this profound insight, Dr. Watson claims. MSH is related to endorphins and leptin. Endorphins are the well known morphine-like chemicals that the body naturally produces, while leptin is made in fat tissue -- the more fat the more leptin. MSH is positively affected by leptin levels and endorphin production is similarly related to MSH. Since MSH is connected to sexual desire and mood enhancing endorphins, Dr. Watson concludes that the fatter you are, the stronger your sexual motivations will be.

Dr. Watson boasts, ?The people who are hottest sexually are fat white people who are burning in the sun.? [Hmm? makes you wonder what the good doctor looks like. "Yeah, baby, Dr. Love is rolling into town ? and he?s got a nice sunburn!"]

Not content with revealing the superiority of the spatially gifted, Dr. Watson exposes thin people to be miserable and unfulfilled. ?When you see two thin people together, you know they?ve got problems,? he explained.

Watson, 72, also connects the recent drop in crime rates in the U.S. to the rise in obesity.

Dr. Watson plans to publish a paper on these revelations later this year.

You can read more about this very serious story here.

[So this Fourth of July, while I am in my back yard gnawing on a side of ribs soaked in ?Uncle Jay?s Gourmet Barbecue Sauce,? munching on bag of Tom?s Hot Fries and sucking down a gallon of sweet tea, I can reassure my wife that it is just a prelude towards the fireworks tonight and I?m not talking about the roman candles.]

Tom?s Hardware Guide wishes all Americans a happy and safe Fourth of July holiday.



 
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
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#3
I can reassure my wife that it is just a prelude towards the fireworks tonight and I?m not talking about the roman candles.

LMAO! My husbands wick always seems to burn out too fast though. :Q

Joking, or course. :p
 
Oct 9, 1999
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#5
Girlfriday its because he likes you.
 

Doomer

Diamond Member
Dec 5, 1999
3,722
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#7
Maybe that's why there are so many Fat people in the world :(
 
Dec 17, 1999
25,054
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#8
Wow......... if thats the case, I've got to put back a few pounds ;)

Cheers,
Aquaman
 

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