I never realized getting stabbed in the ass with a pencil would ever serve to be useful until today...

[PsychoAndy]

I woke up with a pounding headache and I took a test at school. My nose was either stuffed up, running, bleeding or all of the above all day today. I think PA gave me a cold.
So I passed out on the couch at 9AM after I got home, and I missed the post office trying to deliver a certified letter at 10:40. PA came home at 4 and woke my ass up blaring Rollout by Ludacris or something at which point i screamed "STOP THE GODDAMN NOISE POLLUTION!" and he turned it off. Naturally, PA being the good brother didnt show me the "We missed you" card, so I raced down to the PO at 4:30. I'm in line holding the card and its 4:45. 15 minutes to close. Then it hit me.

Fsck. I left my ferengi wallet at home. Staples coupons, discount cards, credit cards and D/L all wrapped together by a rubber band.

Then the clerk calls me. I recognize him....but from where....

*flashback to like 2nd grade.*

This kid put this pencil in my chair as I was sitting down and got a really sharp pencil lead stuck in the left cheek of my butt for a day. His parents werent too pleased, as were mine at the conference. Thats when I remembered all the faces. Then I remembered dad getting a pair of needle nosed pliers pulling a pencil lead out of my ass....but I digress.

*end flashback*

So I walk up.

"Hey, remember me?"
"Yeah, you're PAB!"
"Long time no see, how the kids doing?"
"Good, good."
*Gets certified letter and I sign off on it*
"Nice seeing ya again"
"Likewise, have a good one"

Moral of the story: Getting stabbed in the butt with a #2 pencil can have interesting results 12 years down the road when you need a certified letter without ID.

-PAB

 

[ohtwell]

It's weird how thing's turn out.


: ) Amanda

 

[Kadarin]

So... even in second grade you had no separate identity? People called you "PAB" back then too, hmm? I also bet the registered letter was addressed to "PAB"..

 

[Brutuskend]

Plus you got a FREE Tattoo...

I have a few from my school day's as well.

None in the ASS though~

 

[RossMAN]

Hope you feel better soon. Susan has a cold and I'm just getting over one. She's convinced that a co-worker gave it to her, I think it was me.

 

[Azraele]

What an interesting story.

 

[Lithium381]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Plus you got a FREE Tattoo...

I have a few from my school day's as well.

None in the ASS though~

i got one in the hand.....but that's my fault

 

[Brutuskend]

Mine was too.

One in the face (Note to self. DO NOT put sharpened penciles in shirt pocket point UP!)

And one in the forearm (Don't remember WHERE that one came from, though I do remember it being another bonehead move on my part)

 

[ATLien247]

I got one in the side of the head when I was younger... it almost went in my ear canal, save for that little piece of cartilidge that's near it...

Courtesy of my bad-tempered, psycho little brother!

 

[MaxDSP]

Originally posted by: Lithium381

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Plus you got a FREE Tattoo...

I have a few from my school day's as well.

None in the ASS though~

i got one in the hand.....but that's my fault

So do I. I was about to take my ACT's and my hand reached into my pocket for a pencil, unknowing that the pencils were all lead-up instead of rubber-up. One of the leads jammed into the base of my pinky on my left hand. The lead is still in there. I can even see it in there...creepy

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

Whoa this is weird. I had a pencil deliberately thrown and stuck in my temple. Pretty scary. Wonder where the guy who threw it would be today if he had survived?

 

[coolVariable]

@Lithium381: Why would you stick a pencil in your hand?

 

[Evadman]

Originally posted by: ATLien247
I got one in the side of the head when I was younger... it almost went in my ear canal, save for that little piece of cartilidge that's near it...

Courtesy of my bad-tempered, psycho little brother!

Haha, I hit my brother in the head with a shovel I also tossed him over my fence. Oh, there is a 8' drop on the other side of that fence too

Pab: Where do you come up with this stuff?

P.S. Do you still have the pencil?

 

[WinkOsmosis]

What is this PA crap? Is your brother also named PsychoAndy? Wtf is PAB?? Are you insane?!?!?

 

[Evadman]

Originally posted by: Jellomancer
What is this PA crap? Is your brother also named PsychoAndy? Wtf is PAB?? Are you insane?!?!?

The official "Force PAB to get his own damn account thread is here"

Sorry PAB

<edit>
Made link work for everyone.

 

[Spike]

lol man, talk about a story there. I was trying to come up with something just as witty but failed... oh well


-spike

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: ATLien247
I got one in the side of the head when I was younger... it almost went in my ear canal, save for that little piece of cartilidge that's near it...

Courtesy of my bad-tempered, psycho little brother!

phew... i thought i knew you... i accidentally did that to a guy once

 

[Evadman]

Originally posted by: Spike
lol man, talk about a story there. I was trying to come up with something just as witty but failed... oh well


-spike

How about the story where I got my job:

I was cooking in the kitchwn and forgot to turn the stove off. Aparently, a wind gust came in though the open window (that I left open to see nature at its best) and blew out the flame and pilots on my stove. I came back into the kitchen after replying to FFM's "argument with the doufus of the day" thread, and flipped on the light.

Instantly, my kitchen was a raging inferno. I dove out the conviently open window, and ran to a neighors house where they called me an ambulance.

On the way to the hospital, a tanker truck carrying gasoline colided with the ambulance, and the resulting explosion blew me into a nearby coffie house. As I sailed though the plate glass window, I was screaming AAAAAHHH--- OOOO ---- AHHHHH. A record company exec happened to be eating there, and signed me to a 5 year contract. He then drove me to the hospital

That was when I met my drummer....

 

[PsychoAndy]

Originally posted by: Evadman

Originally posted by: ATLien247
I got one in the side of the head when I was younger... it almost went in my ear canal, save for that little piece of cartilidge that's near it...

Courtesy of my bad-tempered, psycho little brother!

Haha, I hit my brother in the head with a shovel I also tossed him over my fence. Oh, there is a 8' drop on the other side of that fence too

Pab: Where do you come up with this stuff?

P.S. Do you still have the pencil?

Evad: This is a true story. In the 2nd grade, I had a pencil lead stuck in my ass for the entire day and my dad had to pull it out. The clerk was the kid who did it's father. I remember him from the Parents/Principal meeting.

No, I do not have the pencil. The offender sharpened it back up while I was telling the teacher I had a lead in my ass.

-PAB

 

[Evadman]

I know you did not make it up!

I guess I should have made my post a little clearer:

How does your mind connect 2 totaly random thoughts such as "pencil lead in ass = pain" and " I forgot my ID" and spit out "I know that federal employee"

 

[Occifer]

Dezam, thats crazy. This girl I knew stabbed me in the arm with a pencil in the 7th grade. I still have a mark from it. I was pissed at the time. But when we got to high school, I stabbed her back!

 

[ObiDon]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: ATLien247
I got one in the side of the head when I was younger... it almost went in my ear canal, save for that little piece of cartilidge that's near it...

Courtesy of my bad-tempered, psycho little brother!

phew... i thought i knew you... i accidentally did that to a guy once

I broke a few leads off in other kids heads back in my day!

 

[EvilYoda]

lol, that's a great story.

 

[SagaLore]

wow neat, I want an ass stabbing too!

 

[PsychoAndy]

Originally posted by: Evadman

How does your mind connect 2 totaly random thoughts such as "pencil lead in ass = pain" and " I forgot my ID" and spit out "I know that federal employee"

I dont know how I did it, I just did it.



-PAB