I need to change something in my life...

[Ika]

I've probably waited far too long to post this, but here I go.

I need to make a major personality change. I know it's difficult to change from introverted to extroverted, but my situation is getting really, really bad. It's extremely difficult for me to be anything like my normal self when I'm not around people I know. My shyness is getting in the way of my normal functioning in society, and it pisses me off - but as hard as I try, it's extremely hard for me to change anything.

Another problem (or, possibly linked to/causing the above-mentioned one) is that I'm extremely self-conscious. I constantly worry about my image and how other people view me, and this, yet again, gets in the way of my functioning normally. I'm also extremely afraid of being embarrassed, so I rarely do things that might bring about embarrassment (like, say, asking a girl out...)

Does anyone have any advice on how to become less shy or how to think less of myself? I hate myself sometimes because I never go out with friends or anything on weekend nights. Sometimes I get depressed thinking about my situation.

For the record, I'm still in high school, so I can't go drinking or anything.

Will college life and living in a dorm change anything? I've been to a few summer camps (5 days, 11 days, and 3 weeks) and none of them really changed me very much for any length of time.

Cliffs:

1. I hate my life.
2. Help me change it.
3. Read the post.

EDIT: As a clarification, high school has little to do with my situation - I'm not looking to "fit in" anywhere, I'm satisfied with my current group of friends and academic performance. My problem is my innate personality and with self-confidence.

 

[amish]

don't be afraid of being embarrased infront of dumbasses that you won't see in 4 years anyway.

grow some balls and ask a girl out. if that doesn't work ask an uglier girl out. remember, fat girls are like mopeds. fun to ride on, but you don't want your friends to see you on one. but, if you don't have any friends, who cares!!

 

[irwincur]

I know it's difficult to change from introverted to extroverted, but my situation is getting really, really bad. It's extremely difficult for me to be anything like my normal self when I'm not around people I know.

That is what beer is for... or other alchoholic options.

 

[DaiShan]

Don't worry about it, you've still got time, I knew plenty of people in high school that didn't date much/at all. College is the perfect opportunity to become who you want to be, no one knows you, so just start taking charge of your life when you move out of your parents place, things are already changing, so adding one more thing won't be difficult. Just meet as many people as possible in the dorms, the first day is a perfect opportunity, just leave your door open, put some music on, and talk to everyone that walks by.

/edit Amish made a good point, ask out girls that don't make you feel nervous, once you get a few dates under your belt, it'll be easier to ask out the girls that make you sweat a little

 

[Pepsi90919]

1. "AFLAC"
2. ...
3. profit!

 

[D1gger]

Going to college may help, but I would suggest a public speaking or debate group that just gets you more comfortable talking in front of people. This should give you more self confidence, and make you less self-concious.

 

[E equals MC2]

Originally posted by: D1gger
Going to college may help, but I would suggest a public speaking or debate group that just gets you more comfortable talking in front of people. This should give you more self confidence, and make you less self-concious.

ding ding ding!

I was JUST like you back in HS. Towards the later HS yrs, I took up public speaking at my church.

I gained immense amount of self confidence.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

"For the record, I'm still in high school, so I can't go drinking or anything. "

That's it, your life is over...........might as well go eat worms.

Do something out of character. Take a chance...........LIVE!

 

[xanis]

Heh, you sound EXACTLY like me. It took a while, but basically I just got the mentality of, "You know what? Fvck it, I'm just going to do it," with whatever "it" may be. This includes asking girls out. I'm still very shy and easily embarassed like you, and also in high school. Yeah it sucks seeing as I only have a yea to find a decent girlfriend before I graduate, but I'm not too worried. Just remember, there's someone out there for everyone, you just have to be patient and look hard enough. Also, don't worry about friends or making an ass out of yourself in front of other people. You don't have that much time left, and I would bet that none of your friends or other acquaitences are going to the same college as you, so don't worry about it. Just act like you normally would, but don't worry about looking stupid, because if anything, girls and other people will appreciate you for having ther balls to do stuff.

 

[GML3G0]

Yea, that pretty much describes my situation.

 

[SVT Cobra]

NEVER CHANGE FOR ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR YOURSELF!!

 

[OOBradm]

I have some really good advice....... Ever see those commercials on TV for Lucinda Bassets treating anxiety and depression? Im sure you have they're on all the time, and I used to feel just like you in public, introverted, worrying about your self appearance, saying the right thing, worrying about what other people think... etc etc etc...... I've been doing it for 4 weeks and I swear to god it works wonders. http://www.stresscenter.com/ <--- check it out and order it I swear on my life that it worked wonders for me and it can do the same for you

 

[yosuke188]

Sad thing is I'm a lot like you, in fact, I'm in the exact same boat as you. I hate being shy, I want to change, but it is hard as you mentioned. I say take it slow, gradually start talking more. I remember back in middle school when I hardly spoke. Now in high school, I'm still very quiet, but I know I'm talking more, and it's getting easier.

The self-conscious part is the hardest thing to change in my opinion. I am VERY self-conscious. I care about the clothes I wear, the looks of my hair, the shoes I wear, and I never do anything that could embarass me, and I worry how "cool" I appear infront of my peers. I have a lot of trouble trying to change that because in the end, I say "well, I don't want to look like a fool." So I can't really help you on that. Maybe just stop thinking and do things without thinking about the consequences (that doesn't sound too good, I know, but that's what I imagine doing in my dreams).

 

[theNEOone]

i had a bunch of stuff to write, but i realize that i'm not a pyschologist. all can say is that i've never ever been worred about embarassing myself - ever. just go out and do things that might be embarassing - but plan them out. i.e. trip over yourself and stumble over another person. look them in they eye, joke about it ("oh man, i must have put too much vodka in my frosted flakes this morning"), and apologize. ask a dumb question in class. do it over and over. embarassment builds if you shy away from the cause.

the only thing wrong with failure or rejection is if you don't learn from it.


=|

 

[wasssup]

this thread is depressing.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

Once you get older a lot of that will change. Once you get older you start to realize the important things in life aren't looks. And honestly people like people who are themselves and who don't mind embarrasing themselves. In addition, if you can laugh about your embarrasing moments, then more power to you. No one is perfect.

Also, try being a tasteful smartass when meeting new people. Go out with your friends more often. They're your friends, they'll accept you for who you are regardless.

 

[Ika]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2

Originally posted by: D1gger
Going to college may help, but I would suggest a public speaking or debate group that just gets you more comfortable talking in front of people. This should give you more self confidence, and make you less self-concious.

ding ding ding!

I was JUST like you back in HS. Towards the later HS yrs, I took up public speaking at my church.

I gained immense amount of self confidence.

Heh, I already tried that - I took a public speaking class here and it didn't help AT ALL. Maybe it was because I had the mentality of "okay, let's get this over with...", but it didn't change my habits for very long. I might take another one once I'm in college.

Thanks for the PM, too.

Originally posted by: F22 Raptor
NEVER CHANGE FOR ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR YOURSELF!!

I'm not, I'm changing my life for myself. A part of me says "Man, you need to GTFO" and another part of me says "Go die, because you suck at life." I'm not going to die, though. That was just an example.

Originally posted by: theNEOone
i had a bunch of stuff to write, but i realize that i'm not a pyschologist. all can say is that i've never ever been worred about embarassing myself - ever. just go out and do things that might be embarassing - but plan them out. i.e. trip over yourself and stumble over another person. look them in they eye, joke about it ("oh man, i must have put too much vodka in my frosted flakes this morning"), and apologize. ask a dumb question in class. do it over and over. embarassment builds if you shy away from the cause.

the only thing wrong with failure or rejection is if you don't learn from it.

=|

Thanks. Before I made this thread and while I was thinking about it, I considered just going out to the city and just making an ass of myself. Then I thought the better of it and posted here.


As expected, though, there are a lot of people out there like me... I hope this thread helps other people out too, not just me.

Thanks, guys!

 

[FoBoT]

maybe a hobby would help

start collecting beanie babies

 

[potato28]

Go outside.

 

[moshquerade]

start with your underwear, and ditch the tightie whities.

 

[Ika]

Originally posted by: moshquerade
start with your underwear, and ditch the tightie whities.

:frown:

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Aflac

Originally posted by: moshquerade
start with your underwear, and ditch the tightie whities.

:frown:

sorry, but it had to be said. :laugh:

 

[Ika]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Aflac

Originally posted by: moshquerade
start with your underwear, and ditch the tightie whities.

:frown:

sorry, but it had to be said. :laugh:

Oh yeah? Sez who?


Another thing I have to say... I've noticed I'm very different online than I am in real-life (no way I would've gotten 3800+ if I were talking to someone..........). I've always had a big difficulty figuring out my personality, partly because I have so many different characters.

 

[SpanishFry]

Originally posted by: OOBradm
I have some really good advice....... Ever see those commercials on TV for Lucinda Bassets treating anxiety and depression? Im sure you have they're on all the time, and I used to feel just like you in public, introverted, worrying about your self appearance, saying the right thing, worrying about what other people think... etc etc etc...... I've been doing it for 4 weeks and I swear to god it works wonders. http://www.stresscenter.com/ <--- check it out and order it I swear on my life that it worked wonders for me and it can do the same for you

interesting...

 

[InlineFour]

Majority of ATOT on here seem to be shy introverted people, including me. I just graduated high school this year and not really looking forward to living on campus with 4 strangers. I just hope I get to live with some cool people.

I think the best advice is, like others have already said, there's a 99% chance you won't see these people after 4 years or whatever years you have left. Don't care what others think and just be yourself.