My uncle left my aunt four months ago. They have been married for 35 years, and she is taking this badly, of course. (She is 51, he is 53.)Well the problem is, she keeps calling me crying and saying all these things. Like she knows he is not really gone, he is just trying to teach her a lesson and he will be back. He left her for another woman, and I do not believe he will ever come back. Well, I have tried talking to her, but all she does is cry and say she needs him to go on. Then she starts ranting about how this "wh*re" (the other woman) stole her husband and its all her fault he left. I have tried explaining to her that men do not leave because of other women, that there is usually another problem involved somewhere deeper in the relationship. And even if that is not the case, she needs to be angry at him, as he is the one who left her. My aunt kept the house absolutely disgusting, with dishes piled up for days, and laundry always stacked on every surface imaginable. But my uncle was also abusive to her, from what she says. So to me, they are both at fault for the relationship failing. Him more so than her, because I do not believe in hitting anybody for any reason. She is delusional about this situation. So my question is how do I help her move on with her life, I feel like I am doing her absolutely no good talking to her with what I am saying. I am hoping somebody has been through something similar with a friend or family member, that they could give me some advice. I just had to deal with an abusive situation in my own immediate family, and I am getting tired of the depth of denial in my family, and also how it always feels that I am somehow responsible to make it better for the older people in my family. I know that sounds awful, and I would never tell anybody no when they needed help, but it just gets old after awhile. I am tired of feeling drained for others mistakes, and feeling like even though I have never abused anyone, I still have to pick up others pieces.