Ok. I dont even know where to begin. I come to you guys, and only you guys because I cant ask anyone I know personally, simply because this is a big embarrasment to me, PLEASE help me out, please dont make fun of me, please dont make my situation anymore chaotic than it is now.
My and my girlfriend have be together for 3.5 years, well, a little less, January 7, 2003. About a 10 months after we started our relationship, she moved 300 miles away to go to college. It was a huge upset for me, because I knew I really really loved her, and she loved me. She and I both decided to make it work, yes a long distance relationship. Needless to say it wasnt the best, but we made it work.
About a year ago, things went sour. Mostly because of me, I will admit this. I wasn't there for her like she wanted me to be. I chose not to because of alot of reasons:
1. I wasnt happy being away from her(but I was scared to lose her)
2. My life was a simple MESS
3. I knew something else was going on with her, I couldnt pin point it, but eventually I did and just didnt want to accept it
4. Alot has changed with me - new work, new life, new everything - it was hard to share with someone 300 miles away(I tried my best)
Now, we had some really rough times, we fought alot during this time. I was to the point where I told her it was time for a break. She took it as a breakup, I told her it wasnt, but I wasnt making her happy, and I knew she could find someone there who would (the hardest thing I could tell her). Needless to say, I gave her the chance, she refused it, and we verntured on, still knowing something was going on with her. I was a fool.
So, the past few months, I could really tell. Monday of this past week, I had had enough and confronted her about what was going on. I felt like the biggest jerk asking her, because it showed I didnt trust her(but I just KNEW and FELT like something was going on). She wouldnt tell me, so I hounded her with questions, questions like are you seeing someone - over and over - she eventually told me she was. Ok, I knew this, it was my fault, so I asked more( I wanted to know how serious it was). I asked her different things, like how long it had been going on (she said only a month or so *note for later*), and abunch of other things. Then I asked her if she kissed him, and vise versa. She came out and said it, I was DEVESTATED. I was so mad, so upset, that I 2 days later, dropped everything - work, seeing my grandpa who came down from oregon that day, and alot of other things - and went 300 miles. I did it for 2 reasons:
1. It was her 21st bday
2. I had to see if there was anything left with us
Why did I do this you ask? Well, I have come to reason with myself that the reason this happened was because of me, because I wasnt there for her, and this guy was, and I wasnt being the best b/f in the world for her. Most of you are saying right now, WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SAY SCREW HER, WE ARE DONE. It crossed my mind. However, I came to realize just how much I loved her, and how much I really did take things for granted. Its a sad awakening, but it was did the job.
So, I get there on Wed. We talked for like 5 hours straight, cried, hugged, madeup, talked more. We eventually told each other we would work it out. I also asked her and gave her the chance to tell me everything and anything that happend between them. She told me a little, not alot. I guess enough to shut me up and make it seem like it wasnt as bad as it was. On her b-day, I could tell something was still wrong. I asked her more questions(I had the right to) and asked her if he had told her that he loved her, she said YES. I swallowed my tongue. I asked her if she told him the same. She said no.
So, we get things working, I know, its only been a couple of days at this point, but we had to start somewhere. I leave that next day, Friday, and headed home - more happy than I had ever been - sickening I know. I kept asking questions, and she would get mad that I was asking so much, that I stopped asking, and thought everything was done. I was wrong.............
So, after a week of NOT sleeping, I went to bed early tonight. 3:45am - RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG, Scared the ****** out of me. It was a number I didnt know, but was the same area code as hers. I was scared - I thought maybe something had happened to her. I picked it up, but it had already hung up. I switchboard.com'ed it, and it was THE GUY SHE WAS SEEING. There is something I must also say here. At first, I wanted to kill the guy. After all the things me and her had talked about, I really felt like her was a really nice guy(even though he knew about me and her, but still decided to see her, this I DONT agree with). I mean, he did make her happy when I was not. So I thought I was a jerk to hate this guy.
I called him back. He answered, introduced himself, and proceeded to tell me MORE THAN I COULD IMAGINE. Apparently they had been seeing each other ALOT longer than she claimed, she had TOLD HIM she loved him. The did MORE than kiss, but NO SEX. He then told me alot more of things that made sense, like lies and what not, things I kinda knew, but didnt want to admit them. I then told him that I was in fact a bad b/f for her, and told him that I really respected him for calling me, blah blah blah, I still hate his guts, lol. Remind you, its 4am, and SHE starts calling me over and over while I am talking to him. I asked him first, wtf was going on, why I was being called at 4am, and why my g/f was calling me off the hook. Well, heres the kicker.
I talked to her early this morning, she had told me she had just woke up. However, he told me that SHE came and picked him up from the airport early this morning. They then had a 3 hour talk tonight - when she told me other things were going on. She didnt tell me ANY of this before, I found out from him - as well as ALOT of other things.
I loved this girl, since the day I met her. I feel like the biggest fool. I must be insane, because I called her back (at this point I was sick to my stomach) and told her right off the bat that I FORGAVE HER. No matter what had happened, I knew it was part my fault, and wanted to make it up to her. Blah blah blah. I then asked her why she continued to lie to me. She told me it was WAY TO MUCH to tell me, which I understand - because it was all a shock for everyone. Plus she is going pre-med and has finals this week. Again - im being forgiving. I then tell her this is her LAST chance to prove to me now that she loves me, BECAUSE SHE TELLS ME SHES DONE WITH HIM AND WANTS TO BE WITH ME. I get off the phone, and went for a drive. My whole life was turned upside down. I needed some time to think. Its 6 am now, and I WONT be able to sleep for days I am sure.
I am here to ask you guys a question - WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW. Should I really choose to forgive her and REALLY try to make it work, or should I just completely blow this girl off? Remind you, I really love her.
ill add more later...............
My and my girlfriend have be together for 3.5 years, well, a little less, January 7, 2003. About a 10 months after we started our relationship, she moved 300 miles away to go to college. It was a huge upset for me, because I knew I really really loved her, and she loved me. She and I both decided to make it work, yes a long distance relationship. Needless to say it wasnt the best, but we made it work.
About a year ago, things went sour. Mostly because of me, I will admit this. I wasn't there for her like she wanted me to be. I chose not to because of alot of reasons:
1. I wasnt happy being away from her(but I was scared to lose her)
2. My life was a simple MESS
3. I knew something else was going on with her, I couldnt pin point it, but eventually I did and just didnt want to accept it
4. Alot has changed with me - new work, new life, new everything - it was hard to share with someone 300 miles away(I tried my best)
Now, we had some really rough times, we fought alot during this time. I was to the point where I told her it was time for a break. She took it as a breakup, I told her it wasnt, but I wasnt making her happy, and I knew she could find someone there who would (the hardest thing I could tell her). Needless to say, I gave her the chance, she refused it, and we verntured on, still knowing something was going on with her. I was a fool.
So, the past few months, I could really tell. Monday of this past week, I had had enough and confronted her about what was going on. I felt like the biggest jerk asking her, because it showed I didnt trust her(but I just KNEW and FELT like something was going on). She wouldnt tell me, so I hounded her with questions, questions like are you seeing someone - over and over - she eventually told me she was. Ok, I knew this, it was my fault, so I asked more( I wanted to know how serious it was). I asked her different things, like how long it had been going on (she said only a month or so *note for later*), and abunch of other things. Then I asked her if she kissed him, and vise versa. She came out and said it, I was DEVESTATED. I was so mad, so upset, that I 2 days later, dropped everything - work, seeing my grandpa who came down from oregon that day, and alot of other things - and went 300 miles. I did it for 2 reasons:
1. It was her 21st bday
2. I had to see if there was anything left with us
Why did I do this you ask? Well, I have come to reason with myself that the reason this happened was because of me, because I wasnt there for her, and this guy was, and I wasnt being the best b/f in the world for her. Most of you are saying right now, WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SAY SCREW HER, WE ARE DONE. It crossed my mind. However, I came to realize just how much I loved her, and how much I really did take things for granted. Its a sad awakening, but it was did the job.
So, I get there on Wed. We talked for like 5 hours straight, cried, hugged, madeup, talked more. We eventually told each other we would work it out. I also asked her and gave her the chance to tell me everything and anything that happend between them. She told me a little, not alot. I guess enough to shut me up and make it seem like it wasnt as bad as it was. On her b-day, I could tell something was still wrong. I asked her more questions(I had the right to) and asked her if he had told her that he loved her, she said YES. I swallowed my tongue. I asked her if she told him the same. She said no.
So, we get things working, I know, its only been a couple of days at this point, but we had to start somewhere. I leave that next day, Friday, and headed home - more happy than I had ever been - sickening I know. I kept asking questions, and she would get mad that I was asking so much, that I stopped asking, and thought everything was done. I was wrong.............
So, after a week of NOT sleeping, I went to bed early tonight. 3:45am - RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG, Scared the ****** out of me. It was a number I didnt know, but was the same area code as hers. I was scared - I thought maybe something had happened to her. I picked it up, but it had already hung up. I switchboard.com'ed it, and it was THE GUY SHE WAS SEEING. There is something I must also say here. At first, I wanted to kill the guy. After all the things me and her had talked about, I really felt like her was a really nice guy(even though he knew about me and her, but still decided to see her, this I DONT agree with). I mean, he did make her happy when I was not. So I thought I was a jerk to hate this guy.
I called him back. He answered, introduced himself, and proceeded to tell me MORE THAN I COULD IMAGINE. Apparently they had been seeing each other ALOT longer than she claimed, she had TOLD HIM she loved him. The did MORE than kiss, but NO SEX. He then told me alot more of things that made sense, like lies and what not, things I kinda knew, but didnt want to admit them. I then told him that I was in fact a bad b/f for her, and told him that I really respected him for calling me, blah blah blah, I still hate his guts, lol. Remind you, its 4am, and SHE starts calling me over and over while I am talking to him. I asked him first, wtf was going on, why I was being called at 4am, and why my g/f was calling me off the hook. Well, heres the kicker.
I talked to her early this morning, she had told me she had just woke up. However, he told me that SHE came and picked him up from the airport early this morning. They then had a 3 hour talk tonight - when she told me other things were going on. She didnt tell me ANY of this before, I found out from him - as well as ALOT of other things.
I loved this girl, since the day I met her. I feel like the biggest fool. I must be insane, because I called her back (at this point I was sick to my stomach) and told her right off the bat that I FORGAVE HER. No matter what had happened, I knew it was part my fault, and wanted to make it up to her. Blah blah blah. I then asked her why she continued to lie to me. She told me it was WAY TO MUCH to tell me, which I understand - because it was all a shock for everyone. Plus she is going pre-med and has finals this week. Again - im being forgiving. I then tell her this is her LAST chance to prove to me now that she loves me, BECAUSE SHE TELLS ME SHES DONE WITH HIM AND WANTS TO BE WITH ME. I get off the phone, and went for a drive. My whole life was turned upside down. I needed some time to think. Its 6 am now, and I WONT be able to sleep for days I am sure.
I am here to ask you guys a question - WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW. Should I really choose to forgive her and REALLY try to make it work, or should I just completely blow this girl off? Remind you, I really love her.
ill add more later...............
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