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I need cheering up. I am in a pissy ass mood today ** mood is better now **

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I'll tell stupid jokes.

Okay, so there's two sausages in a frying pan. The first one looks at the second one and says, "hey, it's kind of hot in here innit?" The second sausage looks back at the first and goes "Oh my God a talking sausage!!!!!!!"

😀
 
Originally posted by: yukichigai
I'll tell stupid jokes.

Okay, so there's two sausages in a frying pan. The first one looks at the second one and says, "hey, it's kind of hot in here innit?" The second sausage looks back at the first and goes "Oh my God a talking sausage!!!!!!!"

😀
Click to expand...

yuk yuk


you guys do realize I have access to 80% of the porn sites on the web.
 
Originally posted by: Adul
Originally posted by: yukichigai
I'll tell stupid jokes.

Okay, so there's two sausages in a frying pan. The first one looks at the second one and says, "hey, it's kind of hot in here innit?" The second sausage looks back at the first and goes "Oh my God a talking sausage!!!!!!!"

😀
Click to expand...

yuk yuk


you guys do realize I have access to 80% of the porn sites on the web.
Click to expand...

Woah, hook it up!! 😛

Oh yeah, if you need cheering up Bash is your friend 😀

--GiLtY
 
Well Adul, this morning my dad stopped by my house and he was looking at a new bedside table in our bedroom. He thought maybe my mom would like a similar one and wanted to know more about where I got it, etc etc.

Being the helpful daughter I am, I opened all the drawers to show him what a nicely made furniture it is.

I forgot that we keep our 'marital aids' in the top drawer. 😱

He pretended not to notice, and I shut the drawer real quick. 😛
 
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages
the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this
beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes
dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing.... The
house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an
offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"


😀
 
Originally posted by: Isla
Well Adul, this morning my dad stopped by my house and he was looking at a new bedside table in our bedroom. He thought maybe my mom would like a similar one and wanted to know more about where I got it, etc etc.

Being the helpful daughter I am, I opened all the drawers to show him what a nicely made furniture it is.

I forgot that we keep our 'marital aids' in the top drawer. 😱

He pretended not to notice, and I shut the drawer real quick. 😛
Click to expand...

LOL thanks isla. 🙂 you always have some interesting stories 🙂
 
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