I need advice for a fear of mine!

[Chops McGandhi]

I have this fear of opening a suitcase full of money and finding a black mamba hiding under the money and popping out and biting me in the face like in Kill Bill.

This fear is really starting to interfere with my life. Anybody have any advice about what to do in my situation?

 

[brainhulk]

LURASIDONE 80mg once daily

 

[PingviN]

I have this fear of opening a suitcase full of money and finding a black mamba hiding under the money and popping out and biting me in the face like in Kill Bill.

How often do you come in contact with suitcases filled with money?

 

[nehalem256]

Mail all your money to me

 

[jupiter57]

How often do you come in contact with suitcases filled with money?

He's an ATOTer.
All ATOTers get paid weekly with LARGE suitcases full of money!

Keep up!

 

[JTsyo]

There's already a solution for booby trapped cases.

 

[Chops McGandhi]

How often do you come in contact with suitcases filled with money?

well it's the principle, the idea, the what ifs. What if someone does offer me a suitcase full of money? What if that money has a black mamba hiding underneath? I don't know if I could handle it.

And more than that, ever since I was a child, it's been one of my dreams to have a job where people give me a suitcases full of money (like in the movies!) and this fear is crippling me. This fear is keeping me from my dreams. I feel like a failure. Like I am not living up to my suitcase-full-of-money-receiving potential. I feel like I am living only half of my life. Like there is a whole other part of life and I am cut off from it because of my fear. It's really a catch-22! Either live in constant fear of suitcases, or feel like a failure the rest of my life.

 

[IronWing]

Obviously you're racist and have transferred your fear of black people to a ficticious black mamba. That said, better safe than sorry...

Black mambas are allergic to raisins. Always carry a box of raisins with you and pop one in your mouth as needed to maintain raisin breath.

 

[brainhulk]

 

[RearAdmiral]

Slam the case against a wall a few dozen times?

 

[calvinbiss]

Put the case in the freezer for 2-3 days before opening.

 

[Newbian]

Put the case in the freezer for 2-3 days before opening.

This way the money freezes and feels so good while cold when you rub it all over your body.

 

[Mixolydian]

LURASIDONE 80mg once daily

If that doesn't work, Thorazine is an option.

 

[Pardus]

comment removed

 

[brainhulk]

If that doesn't work, Thorazine is an option.

lol, i like to recommend thorazine for combative folks that need to be snowed

 

[Chops McGandhi]

Slam the case against a wall a few dozen times?

I'm scared that that would make the black mamba angry.

Obviously you're racist and have transferred your fear of black people to a ficticious black mamba. That said, better safe than sorry...

I am not a racist and I resent that you would suggest as much! I have plenty of friends who are of Irish decent! My decent being: Normal-White.

 

[sixone]

Send the case to me. I will check it for snakes, for a nominal fee of 50%.

 

[highland145]

Send the case to me. I will check it for snakes, for a nominal fee of ...what case.

fixed

 

[sixone]

fixed

Thank you, Debbie Downer.

 

[highland145]

Thank you, Debbie Downer.

You don't want a 100% fee for risking your life with a black mamba?

"Sixone, she was always so nice, generous, helpful. And then she did the 2 step with a black mamba. Sad."

 

[sixone]

You don't want a 100% fee for risking your life with a black mamba?

"Sixone, she was always so nice, generous, helpful. And then she did the 2 step with a black mamba. Sad."

I'd rather have 50% of something than 100% of nothing.

As for the snake, I could take him down. :toughgal:

 

[Red Squirrel]

You need to slam that suitcase down on a hard surface, take a stance of dominance, and open it right up.

 

[Dirigible]

This way the money freezes and feels so good while cold when you rub it all over your body.

The chilly cash hardens my nipples and the frozen snake... :awe:

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Don't forget Schroedinger's thought experiment. Until you open the case, there's no way of knowing whether the snake is alive, or fucked off down to Vegas with all the money to throw a massive hooker and blow orgy.

 

[PingviN]

well it's the principle, the idea, the what ifs. What if someone does offer me a suitcase full of money? What if that money has a black mamba hiding underneath? I don't know if I could handle it.

And more than that, ever since I was a child, it's been one of my dreams to have a job where people give me a suitcases full of money (like in the movies!) and this fear is crippling me. This fear is keeping me from my dreams. I feel like a failure. Like I am not living up to my suitcase-full-of-money-receiving potential. I feel like I am living only half of my life. Like there is a whole other part of life and I am cut off from it because of my fear. It's really a catch-22! Either live in constant fear of suitcases, or feel like a failure the rest of my life.

Clearly you need a vacuum-sealer. Slightly open the suitcase, put it in a plastic bag, pump all that air out. If there's a snake in it, it'll die from lack of air. If there's no snake in it, no harm done.

If it's filled with Canadian $100 bills, you can put it in water. Drown that snake dead.