I love when Ebert reviews a movie and gives it one star

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Modeps

Modeps

Lifer
Oct 24, 2000
17,254
44
91
http://www.suntimes.com/output/ebert1/wkp-news-village30f.html

Surrounding the village is the forest. In the forest live vile, hostile creatures who dress in red and have claws of twigs. They are known as Those We Do Not Speak Of (except when we want to end a designation with a preposition). We see Those We Do Not Speak, etc., only in brief glimpses, like the water-fixated aliens in "Signs." They look better than the "Signs" aliens, who looked like large extras in long underwear, while Those We Do Not, etc., look like their costumes were designed at summer camp.
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Fingolfin269

Fingolfin269

Lifer
Feb 28, 2003
17,948
34
91
Hrmm, so in 'Signs' we were invaded by Aliens who didn't like water even though are planet is made up of a little bit of water...

Are these 'Things that Live in the Woods With Trees Of' afraid of grass by chance?
 
GasX

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
Eventually the secret of Those, etc., is revealed. To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore.
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rofl...
 
G

godspeedx

Golden Member
Aug 20, 2002
1,463
0
0
"Eventually the secret of Those, etc., is revealed. To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore.

And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we're back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets."

Hahaha.
 
M

memo

Golden Member
Jul 16, 2000
1,345
0
0
anyone know what the secret is? this movie looked pretty bad to begin with in trailers.
 
A

arod

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2000
4,236
0
76
Originally posted by: gistech1978
Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
he's a hack, and his movies are cliche and trite.
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this man speaks the truth.
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Whats funny is when he talks about movie piracy.... hes got this real smug attitude when he makes the point that people should be paid for their work etc, but the whole time Im thinking, yeah thats all well and good but what about when the movies suck... we dont get our money back. We should be paid to watch his crappy movies.
 
SaltBoy

SaltBoy

Diamond Member
Aug 13, 2001
8,975
11
81
Originally posted by: Chronoshock
Hahaha is it just me or does the poster for The Village look like a certain well known image :p
Text
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Oh my gosh, it does; that's horrible! :frown::Q
 
N

nan0bug

Banned
Apr 22, 2003
3,142
0
0
To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore.

And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we're back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets.
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Gee Roger, tell us how you really feel :p
 
GagHalfrunt

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,284
1,998
126
Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
he's a hack, and his movies are cliche and trite.
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No, not all of them. He did a movie and a half. The Sixth Sense was a very good film and the first half of Signs was excellent. Other than about those 2 hours he's a hack.
 
C

cjchaps

Diamond Member
Jul 24, 2000
3,013
1
81
I saw it for free and I liked it :) I wonder what roger would think of that!

Originally posted by: nan0bug
To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore.

And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we're back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets.
Click to expand...

Gee Roger, tell us how you really feel :p
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J

jyates

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2001
3,847
0
76
Pretty funny description of all the rewinding and backward motion and that
cash jumping back in your wallet at the ticket window......

Wasn't planning on see the movie in the first place and this fair warning
really kills it for me.
 
Fritzo

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,920
2,162
126
Originally posted by: dnetmhz
Originally posted by: jjones
A movie worse than "Signs"? That's unpossible!
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That's what I thought.. apparently we are mistaken!
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I liked Signs :) It was full of plot holes, but I loved the end where it became evident that every crappy thing that happened to the preacher happened for a reason. It was kind of cool how they tied every bit of misery together in a 10 minute scene to show that everything happens for a reason. So, excellent idea, but poor execution of the idea.
 
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