I Like Quotes

[chrisms]

What are some good quotes. Here are some I like:


"You've gotta go to work high, if you're getting paid low" -Fat Mike
"The only drug problem is scoring real good drugs" -Fat Mike

"In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities." -Les Claypool
"There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese" -Les Claypool

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -Lily Tomlin

 

[Amused]

"I neutered the cat.
Now he's a liberal"
-Some T-shirt I saw

 

Originally posted by: Amused
"I neutered the cat.
Now he's a liberal"
-Some T-shirt I saw

:laugh:

 

"I got my cat addicted to Oxycontin.
Now he's a Republican."

Something I just made up.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: jumpr
"I got my cat addicted to Oxycontin.
Now he's a Republican."

Something I just made up.

Naw, that doesn't work. It has to be a vast generalization. Not specific to one figure.

Something like, "I trained my cat to read the bible and beat his wife." Some radical stereotype like that.

 

[Tremulant]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: jumpr
"I got my cat addicted to Oxycontin.
Now he's a Republican."

Something I just made up.

Naw, that doesn't work. It has to be a vast generalization. Not specific to one figure.

Something like, "I trained my cat to read the bible and beat his wife." Some radical stereotype like that.

So something like "My cat is training to become a priest. He likes little boys." ?

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Tremulant

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: jumpr
"I got my cat addicted to Oxycontin.
Now he's a Republican."

Something I just made up.

Naw, that doesn't work. It has to be a vast generalization. Not specific to one figure.

Something like, "I trained my cat to read the bible and beat his wife." Some radical stereotype like that.

So something like "My cat is training to become a priest. He likes little boys." ?

Right idea. But it's not funny.

 

[Sheepathon]

Some guys go to strip clubs. I don't like strip clubs. They don't make any sense to me. It's almost like someone puts a hot, juicy turkey in front of you, and all you can do is yell at it. You're like, "Whoo! I bet you go good with gravy!" And then you shove a dollar in its ass. - Mitch Fatel

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Sheepathon
Some guys go to strip clubs. I don't like strip clubs. They don't make any sense to me. It's almost like someone puts a hot, juicy turkey in front of you, and all you can do is yell at it. You're like, "Whoo! I bet you go good with gravy!" And then you shove a dollar in its ass. - Mitch Fatel

:thumbsup:

My feelings exactly.