I just took on the task that every man should have to take on in order to become a man..

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TubStain

Senior member
Apr 19, 2001
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Well since we are on the topic of self surgery... I once drained a swelling cyst that was located between my groin and lower abdomen by sanitizing a needle over a flame and then pierching myself directly in the cyst.. strangely I didnt feel pain... thinking back on the imagery of me plunging a needle until atleast a good inch was inside me...

of course pus just flowed after that... had to keep draining it until I took myself to the doctor who told me that I actually did a good thing by draining it...didnt tell him exactly how I did it though.
 
Aug 23, 2000
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To prove you are a man you must wipe with your hand. I AM A MAN DAMMIT. Nothing sucks more than sitting down to pinch a loaf and as soon as the 1st one hits the water you realize there is no TP. and all you have on is a pair of swim trunk, so you have no disposable clothing to wipe with, ie.. a sock or shirt sleeve.

Just have to flush the turd, flush again, dip the hand in the bowl and start scrubbing, and rinse your hand often. when done, wash your hands for about 10 minutes and use as much soap as you possibly can.
 

jagec

Lifer
Apr 30, 2004
24,442
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Originally posted by: cerebusPu
haha....the spider story is gonna haunt you forever.

in other news...i did a manly thing and just did microsurgery on my own thumb. got a metal splinter in it some time ago. it kept hurting long after the wound healed. so i knew somethng large was still stuck in it. so i took scapel, a needle, and a pair of clippers and proceeded to dig it out. after about an hour i dug out a 5mm long splinter that was stuck straight into the thumb. and my thumb doesnt hurt anymore, even though i dug at the meat around the splinter like a strip mine.

linky. not gross. shows the splinter, the patient, and the tools needed to do surgery. 1. scapel 2. sewing needle 3. pliers.
splinter.JPG

not NEARLY enough carnage. Come back when you have to dig worm eggs out of your big toe with a needle. Not fun.
 

cerebusPu

Diamond Member
May 27, 2000
4,008
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wheres that guy and his plidoial cyst. that must be the grossest thing to self-lance.
 

Sluggo

Lifer
Jun 12, 2000
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Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
To prove you are a man you must wipe with your hand. I AM A MAN DAMMIT. Nothing sucks more than sitting down to pinch a loaf and as soon as the 1st one hits the water you realize there is no TP. and all you have on is a pair of swim trunk, so you have no disposable clothing to wipe with, ie.. a sock or shirt sleeve.

Just have to flush the turd, flush again, dip the hand in the bowl and start scrubbing, and rinse your hand often. when done, wash your hands for about 10 minutes and use as much soap as you possibly can.

Sorry, I would go outside naked and rub my ass on the ground like a worm-ridden rabid dog before doing that.
 

Farbio

Diamond Member
Apr 9, 2000
3,855
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30 minutes??? that's all it took to clean that? damn, i can spend 30 minutes cleaning my bathroom w/out any trouble and i clean it pretty decently every 2/3 weeks!
 

DJFuji

Diamond Member
Oct 18, 1999
3,643
1
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Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
To prove you are a man you must wipe with your hand. I AM A MAN DAMMIT. Nothing sucks more than sitting down to pinch a loaf and as soon as the 1st one hits the water you realize there is no TP. and all you have on is a pair of swim trunk, so you have no disposable clothing to wipe with, ie.. a sock or shirt sleeve.

Just have to flush the turd, flush again, dip the hand in the bowl and start scrubbing, and rinse your hand often. when done, wash your hands for about 10 minutes and use as much soap as you possibly can.

dude that's the nastiest thing i've heard in a while...
 
Aug 23, 2000
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Originally posted by: DJFuji
Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
To prove you are a man you must wipe with your hand. I AM A MAN DAMMIT. Nothing sucks more than sitting down to pinch a loaf and as soon as the 1st one hits the water you realize there is no TP. and all you have on is a pair of swim trunk, so you have no disposable clothing to wipe with, ie.. a sock or shirt sleeve.

Just have to flush the turd, flush again, dip the hand in the bowl and start scrubbing, and rinse your hand often. when done, wash your hands for about 10 minutes and use as much soap as you possibly can.

dude that's the nastiest thing i've heard in a while...

Hey it's not one of my crowning achievments, but it had to be done. And i couldn't go out naked cause i was at a pool.