Originally posted by: bradruth
Allow me to delve into the mind of that woman for just a moment.
"Oh my God! I just ripped my skirt! I just paid $100 for this thing and now it rips, what am I doing to do? Jeez, I need to get out of here without anyone seeing me. Wait a minute, I wonder if this rip makes my ass look huge? What can I do to cover it up? I can't take something...that'd be stealing. But what if I make a promise to myself to return it? It's like that time I was in Bloomingdales looking at purses as i only have like 500 of them and not one of them is in style and I saw this cute little outfit and I had a job interview in like 20 minutes and I was just working out because I know my ass looks really huge so I figured I could lose some of it, but anyway, the job interview is scheduled soon and i don't have anything to wear, i guess i could go home but that would make me late... would they care if i'm late? who knows maybe they'll think it's cute. oh right, tear.... I'll find someone to walk with me so others can't notice. Now, who should I ask to do it? i wonder what my girlfriends would do in this situation.... or my gay pal ricki, what would he do? i know what he can do to me, but it's a shame he's not interested in me. maybe i shouyld try harder... anyway ooo, I know! hmm what should i make for dinner tonight? did i even buy anything today that i could use for dinner? let's see redbook, oprah's magazine, nail polish, lipstick and some tampons.... i wonder what i should do, i guess i could just eat out, but all of that food would go directly to my ass.... oh right, there's a nerdy guy buying nothing but pop & ramen noodles, he'll be perfect! he could use a little work in his eyebrows, and that outfit is just horrible, it looks like he got it at the salvation army, but anyway he probably hasn't ever had a woman come up and talk to him... i wonder if he's a mommas boy, i bet he is, but i guess that means he knows how to cook... though apparently not if he's buying nothing but soda and ramen.... though he could just be going to college and is spending too much money on school to afford good food... oh what am i saying, he'd probably do anything for me. And because he's so pathetic he won't have the balls to hit on me or even ask me out. he'd be an easy catch, but i don't know if i could show him off to my girlfriends. would they laugh at me? He's probably such a loser that he'll post about this on a message board and think it's the best thing that's ever happened to him. This is perfect! now that that is settled, i'm 40 minutes late for my job interview, oh well, i'm a female, i'll just screw the boss... though what if my boss is a female? oh well, i suppose i've always been looking to try that out"
and we left the grocery store. Once we got to her car she gave me $10 and said thanks. What a freakin sweet day!
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