Don't worry it has nothing to do with my mother. 
It is weird though, so hold on to your bananas... (the banana reference will be explained shortly)
I know very little about Freudian theory, but from my understanding everything can be traced back to ... you know ... that thing we all want that starts with an s and ends with the letter two before z and has a vowel in the middle of it. (No, I'm not in grade two, lol)
So, some quick facts in logical order. I play badminton. So what, you ask?
Well, fact two, today I noticed that I actually dread a game of badminton with a bunch of guys. If I don't ever like playing badminton with any males, no matter what males they are, then I can only conclude that I don't like badminton. So why do I play it?
Fact three... (I'm doing this like Memento, working backward... because that's how I figured it out) ... I do like playing badminton with girls. But only with asian girls (now gopunk can pick on me, bring it on ). So from this I can conclude that I play badminton because I get to meet girls I like, not because I like the game. Okay... not so strange, I guess.
Here's the part that scares me because it demonstrates how easily influenced I am. I thought about it, and in High School I had a huge crush on an asian girl... the first asian girl I ever liked. It was more than just a crush, it was an every-minute-of-every-day-for-a-year kind of thing. An obsession. That's the words you guys used here, too, when I posted about her so often a while back.
I originally started playing badminton so that I could spend more time with her. The irony was that she stopped playing before I got around to starting.
Somewhere along the lines... I just forgot that she was the reason that I started. Now I realize that I like (a) badminton and (b) asian girls because they remind me of her... the original... Thinking more clearly about it now, I've always used her as a reference point and compared how other girls look and act to the way that she did...
It's as though all this time my subconscious has been searching for a replica and never found one... the amount of time and effort I've put into certain things because of this scares me...
You know the story about three monkies in a cage and a banana ... if you squirt all the other monkies when one of them goes for the banana and eventually the monkies learn to attack any monkey that goes for the banana... and then you start replacing monkies with new monkies... eventually the monkies will jump any monkey that goes for the banana without actually knowing why they do it. I feel like a monkey right now.
It is weird though, so hold on to your bananas... (the banana reference will be explained shortly)I know very little about Freudian theory, but from my understanding everything can be traced back to ... you know ... that thing we all want that starts with an s and ends with the letter two before z and has a vowel in the middle of it. (No, I'm not in grade two, lol)
So, some quick facts in logical order. I play badminton. So what, you ask?
Well, fact two, today I noticed that I actually dread a game of badminton with a bunch of guys. If I don't ever like playing badminton with any males, no matter what males they are, then I can only conclude that I don't like badminton. So why do I play it?
Fact three... (I'm doing this like Memento, working backward... because that's how I figured it out
) ... I do like playing badminton with girls. But only with asian girls (now gopunk can pick on me, bring it on ). So from this I can conclude that I play badminton because I get to meet girls I like, not because I like the game. Okay... not so strange, I guess. Here's the part that scares me because it demonstrates how easily influenced I am. I thought about it, and in High School I had a huge crush on an asian girl... the first asian girl I ever liked. It was more than just a crush, it was an every-minute-of-every-day-for-a-year kind of thing. An obsession. That's the words you guys used here, too, when I posted about her so often a while back.
I originally started playing badminton so that I could spend more time with her. The irony was that she stopped playing before I got around to starting.
Somewhere along the lines... I just forgot that she was the reason that I started. Now I realize that I like (a) badminton and (b) asian girls because they remind me of her... the original...
Thinking more clearly about it now, I've always used her as a reference point and compared how other girls look and act to the way that she did...It's as though all this time my subconscious has been searching for a replica and never found one... the amount of time and effort I've put into certain things because of this scares me...
You know the story about three monkies in a cage and a banana ... if you squirt all the other monkies when one of them goes for the banana and eventually the monkies learn to attack any monkey that goes for the banana... and then you start replacing monkies with new monkies... eventually the monkies will jump any monkey that goes for the banana without actually knowing why they do it. I feel like a monkey right now.
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