I just broke off with my girlfriend :~(

Adrian Tung

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,370
1
0
I don't know where to start... I'm very frustrated and disappointed and feeling very down about this right now. She's a Christian and I'm not, and you probably know where this is heading....

The thing is, right from the beginning two years ago we were okay and religion wasn't an issue... but I guess for her it turns out to be one. I'm so depressed about this, I'm still very attached to her but can't do anything about it.

I just felt the need to let it out and tell someone about it right now, hope you guys don't mind me mulling over it on the forums.


:(atwl


EDIT: BTW THERE'LL BE NO PICS. I'm just not in the mood.
 

bmacd

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
10,869
1
0
whatever you do, don't throw your hand through your car windshield. I did that the other day out of mixed emotion and not saying what i wanted to, and now i have a $380 repair bill for my windshield. Talk to her. Then get rid of her. Keep contact if you must....

-=bmacd=-
 

badluck

Diamond Member
Feb 19, 2001
5,357
0
76


time is your worst enemy......it takes awhile for wounds to heal....if you realize this and have the vision to understand it, you will heal quicker....

good luck
 

TommyWDetroit

Banned
Mar 27, 2001
272
0
0
Eh, you'll be ok, me and my girlfriend of 3 years just broke it off 2 weeks ago. We have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter together too. We had a conflic of interest. She wants to be with other guys. In fact just the other day, she told me that her "love for me has changed", and that she "loves me like a brother, or best friend". Gimmie a break. Anyways, good luck to you.. and hope you can get through this a quickly as possible. Oh, a wise man once told me.. the feeling of losing someone through being dumped or dumping.. is only temporary, and it's just another feeling that will eventually go way. That's how i'm taking this whole thing between me and my ex so well. I don't hurt anymore, don't have time to pizz and moan, cry and whine. And i'm more or less over her already. Ok, enough rambling...
 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
You're going to hurt for a while. Time will ease the ache. Until then, you can try to stay busy or talk things through with friends.
 

Kanalua

Diamond Member
Jun 14, 2001
4,860
2
0
religion is never an issue in the beginning, but when looking a someone to spend your life together, it's a huge issue...

ever think of doing some research and seeing if it is something for you...a girl is a good enough reason to at least find out
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
72,426
6,088
126
Even in relationships religion divides. Isn't it great? Well anyway, she probably isn't religious; she's just attached to the externals, the container and not the content. All religious people, regardless of faith, are pretty much the same. They are inclusive rather than exclusive.
 

Adrian Tung

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,370
1
0
Originally posted by: bmacd
whatever you do, don't throw your hand through your car windshield. I did that the other day out of mixed emotion and not saying what i wanted to, and now i have a $380 repair bill for my windshield. Talk to her. Then get rid of her. Keep contact if you must....

-=bmacd=-

Well, I did throw my hand into the wall a few times, threw my hammer at some of the gifts that she gave me, and threw my scissors at some of the stuffed toys that she gave me.

BTW She just talked to me again, says she still hopes that I become a Christian then we can be together again, blah blah blah. The thing is, she knows me too well already - I will always stick to my principles and that means that that will never ever happen! Not for my Job, my Family, nor for Love will I ever abandon my principles. She says I'm stubborn, people change over time, I never gave her a chance to share her religion with me... but still, to me religion is a belief and there's no point for me to become a false follower just for her sake. :|


:(atwl
 

Stark

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2000
7,735
0
0
Even in relationships religion divides. Isn't it great? Well anyway, she probably isn't religious; she's just attached to the externals, the container and not the content. All religious people, regardless of faith, are pretty much the same. They are inclusive rather than exclusive.

Just the opposite is true. It's what's inside (or more accurately what's not inside) that caused the split.

Paul advised believers "Do not be unequally yoked." He had a good point.
 

mrCide

Diamond Member
Nov 27, 1999
6,187
0
76
why the hell would you want to be with a girl who won't be with you unless you change (your beliefs)? the fact that she hopes you will change and can't respect your beliefs or whatever is kind of disturbing (as oppose to just going your own ways and respecting each other)... so ask yourself, would you really want to be with someone like that? i think not :)
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
5
0
Either she has to get over your hellbound sinfulness or you have to convert to her worshiping ways.
 

ProUser

Senior member
Apr 6, 2000
554
0
0
Sorry to hear it bro. If it's any consolation; your not alone. And you've probably been through this before at some point in your past. So, like before - this too is only temporary.

As for the religious aspect.. I'm not a religious person but doesn't religion teach tolerance/etc? I guess everyone has their own beliefs.. but I'd question how seriously someone really loved me if they didn't want to be with me simply because I did not share their exact beliefs...
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
72,426
6,088
126
Stark, what was so good about Paul's point? Every cult in the world practices the same thing. Only truth is open and non-exclusive. How are you not attached to the container? You've bought a brand I should think.
 

Adrian Tung

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
1,370
1
0
Originally posted by: mrCide
why the hell would you want to be with a girl who won't be with you unless you change (your beliefs)? the fact that she hopes you will change and can't respect your beliefs or whatever is kind of disturbing (as oppose to just going your own ways and respecting each other)... so ask yourself, would you really want to be with someone like that? i think not :)
I was talking to one of my close friends and she also told me something like that too. It's just that after 2+ years and then losing it all because of religion just kinda hit me hard. Considering the amount of commitment and sacrifice that I put into this relationship, I just thought it was totally unfair for me and a complete waste to let it all go just like that.

All I can say now is that this event has seriously altered my tolerance level towards Christians in general. Don't get the wrong message, though, I still have a lot of Christian friends and I don't mind as long as they keep their beliefs to themselves and restrain from trying to spread their beliefs on to me in any way.


:(atwl
 

dribgnikcom

Banned
Feb 21, 2002
221
0
0
If you got married and had kids, what religion would they be?

Inter-racial/Inter-religious marriages are a terrible idea.

zips on flame suit
 

Palvaran

Member
Apr 13, 2002
86
0
66
Be glad it got broken off now. What if it had progressed to the point that you were married with possibly children? It would be very hard to decide how to raise the child not to mention the beliefs and values. Additionally, the three primary reasons for divorce are children, money, and/or *religion*. Good Luck, time heals all wounds.
 

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,352
11
0
Originally posted by: Adrian Tung
I don't know where to start... I'm very frustrated and disappointed and feeling very down about this right now. She's a Christian and I'm not, and you probably know where this is heading....

The thing is, right from the beginning two years ago we were okay and religion wasn't an issue... but I guess for her it turns out to be one. I'm so depressed about this, I'm still very attached to her but can't do anything about it.

I just felt the need to let it out and tell someone about it right now, hope you guys don't mind me mulling over it on the forums.


:(atwl


EDIT: BTW THERE'LL BE NO PICS. I'm just not in the mood.

I hate to be the one to tell you this but: She played you for a foo!

I'm pretty sure she knew she could use this as an excuse to get rid of you. I mean, if it really an issue for her, it would have been addressed way at the beginning. But then again, there could be a bigger reason and she is just using the religion thing instead of saying I've been creeping on you. Keep in contact with her friends and when you find out that the next guy she is seeing is *gasp* not the same religion as her, you'll figure out the story. :Q
 

oLLie

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2001
5,203
1
0
Originally posted by: dribgnikcom
If you got married and had kids, what religion would they be?

Inter-racial/Inter-religious marriages are a terrible idea.

zips on flame suit

Umm... inter-religious the kids could just choose for themselves.
wtf is wrong with inter-racial marriages???
 

Balt

Lifer
Mar 12, 2000
12,674
482
126
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Even in relationships religion divides. Isn't it great? Well anyway, she probably isn't religious; she's just attached to the externals, the container and not the content. All religious people, regardless of faith, are pretty much the same. They are inclusive rather than exclusive.

Thanks for enlightening us with quite possibly the largest generalization ever made.
rolleye.gif



Only truth is open and non-exclusive.

And apparently you think you are the only one who knows the 'truth' Perhaps in your little fantasy world, you do.
rolleye.gif
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,303
15
81
Originally posted by: ProUser
Sorry to hear it bro. If it's any consolation; your not alone. And you've probably been through this before at some point in your past. So, like before - this too is only temporary.

As for the religious aspect.. I'm not a religious person but doesn't religion teach tolerance/etc? I guess everyone has their own beliefs.. but I'd question how seriously someone really loved me if they didn't want to be with me simply because I did not share their exact beliefs...

Religion was never about tolerance. History shows quite the opposite, that religion teaches hatred and intolerance, and fear of that which is different. To a religious person, the very belief system is the single most important thing in their lives; everything else is secondary to the acceptance and worship of God. For a non-religious person, this is an uncrossable chasm that will forever prevent a truly close relationship.
 

ohtwell

Lifer
Jan 6, 2002
14,516
9
81
<--- Hugs Adrian Tung

Maybe it's better for the both of you.
There probably would have been arguments because of your difference in religous beliefs.

Cheer up! :)






: ) Amanda