I hate writing essays about myself

Ballatician

Golden Member
Dec 6, 2007
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Applications.

"any special experiences or other information you feel would be helpful in evaluating you, including, but not limited to, education, employment...etc"

This is the second such personal essay so you aren't supposed to repeat anything from the first time. I can't think of anythinggggggggggggg
 

ConstipatedVigilante

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Feb 22, 2006
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Yep, writing about your own accomplishments is difficult. It's hard to judge whether something is worthy of saying, trying to make yourself look good without sounding like a jackass, etc. But I suppose that's part of the testing process! Have fun!
 

theflyingpig

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Mar 9, 2008
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My name is Ballatician, and like many children, I was born. Unlike many children I was born with what I like to call "Super Powers". Things were pretty normal for me until about kindergarten. The class bully, Leon, was picking on Chantelle and I became enraged. All of a sudden I felt as though my hands were on fire! I couldn't actually see the fire with my eyes open, but when I close them my hands look like torches! Anyway I closed my eyes and shot a ball of flame at Leon, and he stopped picking on Chantelle! I went to talk to her, but she just walked away. I don't know why she always does this when I save her, but she does. Well anyway, I hope you hire me.

Ballictian
 

Ballatician

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Dec 6, 2007
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Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante
Yep, writing about your own accomplishments is difficult. It's hard to judge whether something is worthy of saying, trying to make yourself look good without sounding like a jackass, etc. But I suppose that's part of the testing process! Have fun!

Yes, exactly. Especially the bolded part.

Originally posted by: theflyingpig
My name is Ballatician, and like many children, I was born. Unlike many children I was born with what I like to call "Super Powers". Things were pretty normal for me until about kindergarten. The class bully, Leon, was picking on Chantelle and I became enraged. All of a sudden I felt as though my hands were on fire! I couldn't actually see the fire with my eyes open, but when I close them my hands look like torches! Anyway I closed my eyes and shot a ball of flame at Leon, and he stopped picking on Chantelle! I went to talk to her, but she just walked away. I don't know why she always does this when I save her, but she does. Well anyway, I hope you hire me.

Ballictian

Thank you sir. I think you just finished a whole essay for me in far better a manner than I could have ever dreamed.
 

Cattlegod

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May 22, 2001
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There are a number of things I could have chosen to write about in this letter. I could have chosen to write about how as soon as our backs are turned, Admissions's poison will infect us, sicken us, and destroy us. Or I might have chosen to write something about the way that it is known for fabricating evidence. But, instead, I've decided to devote this entire letter to explaining how behind Admissions's mask of benevolence stands a complete plan for world government, world power, world conquest, and the promotion of uppity chauvinism. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in Admissions's logic because it doubtlessly doesn't use any logic. I don't see how Admissions can build a workable policy around wishful thinking draped over a morass of confusion (and also, as we'll see below, historical illiteracy), then impose it willy-nilly on a population by force. I'm not saying that it can't possibly be done but rather that Admissions says that it wants to make life better for everyone. Lacking a coherent ideology, however, Admissions always ends up destroying our moral fiber.

Is that such a difficult concept? Strictly speaking, no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how conceited upstarts, more than any other segment of the population, like to replace our timeless traditions with Admissions's eccentric, disrespectful ones. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also establish a supportive -- rather than an intimidating -- atmosphere for offering public comment. I have not forgotten that Admissions hates, with a pure and perfect hatred, all those who oppose our human vices wherever they may be found -- arrogance, hatred, jealousy, unfaithfulness, avarice, and so on. I have not forgotten that authority without wisdom is mere noise against the music of eternity. And I cannot forget that its intent is to prevent us from asking questions. Admissions doesn't want the details checked. It doesn't want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts it presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of its "facts" are false.

On a more personal note, there is still hope for our society, real hope -- not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of stinking underachievers but the hope that makes you eager to remind it about the concept of truth in advertising. More fundamentally, sometime in the future Admissions will compromise the free and open nature of public discourse. Fortunately, that hasn't happened...yet. But it will sincerely happen if we don't make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Thus, in summing up, we can establish the following: 1) I feel it is incumbent upon me to combat the repulsive ideology of narcissism that has infected the minds of so many unforgiving pettifoggers, and 2) Admissions's cowardly attacks not only demean Admissions's victims, they dehumanize all of us and are contrary to the principles of a free society.
 

Ballatician

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Dec 6, 2007
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Interesting stuff cattlegod. If nothing else, I will now try to work "pettifoggers" into my essay.
 

Ballatician

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Dec 6, 2007
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Originally posted by: Xylitol
did u play a sport?
(if this is for college)

It's for grad school and I've played many competitively so maybe I can work that in here.

I wish it were a little more defined. I have to essentially just talk about any special experience I haven't already mentioned. Thanks for the suggestion though, it's inspired me to have another go at this thing. I gotta get it done tonight.