I hate pooping in public restrooms

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purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
53,637
6,520
126
try pooping in a stall with no door. never again.

reminds me of that jackass skit where they go to some hardware store and go to the toilet section, and one guy just drops his pants and sits on one of the toilets out in the open, totally not hooked to any plumbing, breaks out a news paper, and takes a shit.
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,655
688
126
You could always get a gender change. The ladies have far nicer ones!

Not according to my wife. She is constantly complaining about them. Apparently, women think their asses are too good for public toilet seats, so they tend to hover and pee and poop all over the place!
 

SMOGZINN

Lifer
Jun 17, 2005
14,359
4,640
136
If there is a lot of people around me, I can't pee in those urinals too.

I like to get a double handed hold and back up a foot or so and get a long stream going.

I go where ever I'm at. Loud gurgling poops that go on and on, quick squirters that make a liquid splash, huge sticky logs that leave a turd streak on the toilet. It is all the same.

This is because I have know that everyone poos. It is not something to be ashamed of.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,580
982
126
People with bathroom issues amuse me. I draw the line at having to clean shit or piss off the toilet seat before sitting down... that's about the only issue I have.
 

God Mode

Platinum Member
Jul 2, 2005
2,903
0
71
Public bathrooms should come with a membership program that takes a picture of the stall after you're done. A few lazyass people messing it up for everyone else by taking a piss or dump while having a seizure.
 

janas19

Platinum Member
Nov 10, 2011
2,313
1
0
Public bathrooms should come with a membership program that takes a picture of the stall after you're done. A few lazyass people messing it up for everyone else by taking a piss or dump while having a seizure.

Lol. Godmode :thumbup:
 

911paramedic

Diamond Member
Jan 7, 2002
9,448
1
76
Boot camp.

It's clean but private it is not. People line up waiting to go, you don't have doors so they are giving you the stink eye (hehe) waiting for you to finish because there's only so much time allotted and you are back out doing something else.

Hopefully you are back out on the grinder doing it with a clear bowel and not a crowning stink baby.
 

LiuKangBakinPie

Diamond Member
Jan 31, 2011
3,903
0
0
Women's first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet:
"Eeww! That's horrible; I must get cleaning equipment before I can use this."

Men's first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet:
"Hmmm... Can I remove this with the contents of my bladder?"
 

allenk09

Senior member
Jan 22, 2012
366
0
0
Ladies bathrooms have to be worse. Nasty used tampons stuffed down the toilet clogging them, blood on the stall walls, piss all over the seats and floors because as someone else said the 'hover' technique. IMO, anything with blood is worse than poo.
 

janas19

Platinum Member
Nov 10, 2011
2,313
1
0
Women's first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet:
"Eeww! That's horrible; I must get cleaning equipment before I can use this."

Men's first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet:
"Hmmm... Can I remove this with the contents of my bladder?"

Lol
 

Mike Gayner

Diamond Member
Jan 5, 2007
6,175
3
0
Why do Americans always use euphamisms for the word "toilet"? It's a public toilet, not a public restroom - you don't rest there. And it definitely isn't a "bathroom" - where's the bath?
 

ahenkel

Diamond Member
Jan 11, 2009
5,357
3
81
I'll tell you why you find shit in places it doesn't belong in public shitters. Hovering, people goddamn hover and then spray shit every wear.
 

ViperXX

Platinum Member
Nov 2, 2001
2,058
10
81
I work in a prison. Staff usually pwn the bathrooms during the week. But we have inmate porters who clean it up. On the weekends all hell breaks lose. It's like Godzilla shows up to take a shit. Shit all over the walls and toilet. The porters don't show up to clean them till later in the afternoon on Mondays. The bathrooms are off limits till then.

I usually don't shit at work after a fellow employee got MERCA on his ass. I squeeze it till after work. Only on the rare occasions do I shit at work. Only when I have the overwhelming assplosion feeling do I use it at work.
 

LiuKangBakinPie

Diamond Member
Jan 31, 2011
3,903
0
0
Just watched the WKD advert, where the bloke walks in to the toilet to have a shit whilst his wife's taking a relaxing bath.
After laughing at it, my wife turns to me and says, "I bet you a man made this!"

Course a man made it - it's an advert, not a Sunday roast.
 
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OVerLoRDI

Diamond Member
Jan 22, 2006
5,490
4
81
Pretty much this. And if in a multi-storied campus building, always pick the bathroom on the top floor and most distal to traffic. The education building here has a lock bathroom with scent bottles, women's magazines, two types of soap, hand lotion, plastic foliage, and all sorts of other goodies. The engineering building's bathroom right next to the computer labs routinely has shit in the middle of the floor and stalls with ~one inch gaps between the hinges.

Wise words. The other option is pick the restrooms that are cleaned often. The University union on my campus, which is a hang out/relaxing place with high traffic, has its bathrooms cleaned once a day. They are near spotless. No issues pooping there. Otherwise, it's the 5th floor of the library.
 

Pardus

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2000
8,197
21
81
Take fiber pills before bedtime, this way when you get up the next morning, you will empty your bowels and not have to use a public restroom for bowel movements. Haven't had to use one in years.

Taking a shit by George Carlin

41P46SqPj7L._SS500_.jpg
 
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clamum

Lifer
Feb 13, 2003
26,256
406
126
People with bathroom issues amuse me. I draw the line at having to clean shit or piss off the toilet seat before sitting down... that's about the only issue I have.
No doubt. I'll wipe the seat a couple times with toilet paper to make sure but that's about it.

Why do Americans always use euphamisms for the word "toilet"? It's a public toilet, not a public restroom - you don't rest there. And it definitely isn't a "bathroom" - where's the bath?
Who gives a shit? People also call soda:

1. Coke
2. Pop
3. Soda

(Personally, I say #2 since I live in the upper midwest). Again, who gives a shit?
 

LiuKangBakinPie

Diamond Member
Jan 31, 2011
3,903
0
0
Why do Americans always use euphamisms for the word "toilet"? It's a public toilet, not a public restroom - you don't rest there. And it definitely isn't a "bathroom" - where's the bath?

So in a public toilet there is just the bog? No basins nada? I know we call the ones you get on the long roads rest rooms as you can freshen up in them
 

Mike Gayner

Diamond Member
Jan 5, 2007
6,175
3
0
No doubt. I'll wipe the seat a couple times with toilet paper to make sure but that's about it.


Who gives a shit? People also call soda:

1. Coke
2. Pop
3. Soda

(Personally, I say #2 since I live in the upper midwest). Again, who gives a shit?

Apparently you don't know what a euphemism is.


So in a public toilet there is just the bog? No basins nada? I know we call the ones you get on the long roads rest rooms as you can freshen up in them

Usually you'll find a toilet and a basin. You usually wont find a couch, bed, shower, bath or anything else of the sort. If a public toilet is a resting place for you, you have issues