I hate being an introvert. There. (serious)

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Zeze

Zeze

Lifer
Mar 4, 2011
11,395
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I hate it. I'll come out and say it in a forum full of likely introverts. Here is my thought process:

  1. The world obviously revolves around being social. Enjoying life mostly requires others together to get the maximum enjoyment. Examples:
    • Going to movies / hanging out together / creating memories
    • Birthdays
    • Weddings
    • Births/funerals, etc.
    • House get-togethers - hosting and being invites to.
    • Trips together, etc.
    • Sports / activities, etc.
  2. I hate how I'm wired. I want to do above, but at the same time it's not easy to make friends at my age in a new town (while others seem to do it better). Also sometimes I just don't want to do above yet while complaining about it. It sucks
  3. I absolutely hate the stereotypes about extroverts and introverts.
    • Extroverts are painted as some kind of uber insecure, bumbling, clumsy, not smart, and so on.
    • Introverts are painted as detail oriented, smart, empathetic, etc.
    • I don't these are accurate at all. I see tons of extroverts that are just as empathetic, detail oriented, and genuine. I see tons of dumb idiot introverts that just suck.
  4. Given above, I think it just sucks being an introvert. I see it as a disadvantage (See point #1) with no real clear advantages

I've been struggling with this a lot. I've had many friends while younger too, but I find myself becoming more introverted. And as a dad, I HATE it.
 
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Zeze

Zeze

Lifer
Mar 4, 2011
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Sucks donkey ass as a parent who wants to socialize the kids as much as possible (and I do - big birthdays & playdates). And all this feels like an uphill battle vs 'natural' for others.
 
A

Ajay

Lifer
Jan 8, 2001
16,094
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I'm an extrovert by nature - though I'm comfortable alone as well (probably puts me into a mid point of sorts). The unfortunate bit is that I suffer from depression (Bipolar 2) and that turns me into an introvert. I just run out of energy too quickly to maintain my normal disposition. On good days, I'm my old self.
 
Zeze

Zeze

Lifer
Mar 4, 2011
11,395
1,187
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BoomerD said:
The best part about being an introvert...not "needing" social interactions with <ugh> other people.
Click to expand...
I hate it (not you personally). Ooh look at me I'm a loner. I hate other people wow.
 
BoomerD

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
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Zeze said:
I hate it (not you personally). Ooh look at me I'm a loner. I hate other people wow.
Click to expand...

Nah, I can deal and interact with other people when needed...but I prefer not to. I'm married to an extrovert...so she keeps me from being a complete hermit (and I rein in some of her social butterfly tendencies.)
 
snoopy7548

snoopy7548

Diamond Member
Jan 1, 2005
8,211
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Why don't you abandon your family and become a full-time introvert? Do all of your fun activities alone.
 
MrSquished

MrSquished

Lifer
Jan 14, 2013
25,873
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There are plusses and minuses to everything. Ultimately I do believe that so much of what makes life amazing are positive human interactions. I love meeting interesting people with all kids of stories, unique histories, introduce me to new music, new art, etc... Of course many humans suck or are likely just not your type, so just having social interactions in an of itself is not the solution, but having more positive ones than not. Ultimately I can also be in an anti-social mode and just love me time as well. But I do think that good and interesting social interactions are one of the highlights of the human experience.

It is harder to make friends in your forties. I think the OP is in that age range. Your problem is you want to find people with kids to be social for your kids, I want to find people with no kids so they can go out and do things that don't have the responsibilities of children. Either way, the kids are definitely a social lubricant in your case. You should find out all your kids best friends or people they are in activities they do, meet the parents and try to keep in touch, find the ones you bond with the most and see if there are any relationships there to cultivate. Definitely won't be all of them.
 
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MtnMan

MtnMan

Diamond Member
Jul 27, 2004
9,280
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I would say I am neither. I have no issues going out to do things with people, but I'm picky about what those "things" are.

Weddings, funerals, and having a root canal are definitely things to avoid, at all costs.
Any spectator "thing" movies, concerts, sports, etc. Are you going to visit with people or watch the event, the two are counter.
Trips together? Like overnight, weekend, or longer, hard pass, unless our likes/dislikes and habits are in sync, and there will still be conflicts.
Out to dinner, brewery, etc., when/where. You can actually visit with your friends, and especially breweries, we end up meeting new friends, often because they are friends with the other couple.

The older I get, the more of "humanity" I witness, the more I see the virtues of being an introvert
 
WelshBloke

WelshBloke

Lifer
Jan 12, 2005
32,431
10,563
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Zeze said:
Sucks donkey ass as a parent who wants to socialize the kids as much as possible (and I do - big birthdays & playdates). And all this feels like an uphill battle vs 'natural' for others.
Click to expand...
I mean dreading socialising with random parents isn't being an introvert, it's just being rational and sensible! No one enjoys that.
 
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