I don't believe guys and girls can ever be friends

[BigToque]

As in being "true" friends where there is no romantic connection.

I think that when you pick your closest friends, the only members of the opposite sex that you include are those that you find attractive in some way, either physically or mentally.

I don't believe the bond can ever be comparable to a best friend of the same sex where (assuming both parties are heterosexual) the relationship is completely platonic.

Thoughts?

 

[LS20]

quite wrong

 

[Aimster]

you are wrong

I have plenty of ugly female friends

 

[Random Variable]

I'm mentally attracted to you.

 

[Shawn]

it's possible for women to be just friends with guys but not the other way around. we aren't wired that way.

 

[kedlav]

Ladder Theory

 

[johnjohn320]

Wanna quote another movie?

 

[RichardE]

I have a ton of ugly female friends and a number of hot female friends. I also have a good number of female friends with privileges. You are wrong sir, good day!

 

[krotchy]

Well, currently my best friend is a girl, and she is very attractive, but I have to say I have no interest in her. Shes too conservative and would not work in a relationship. However we work great as friends. Plus she makes a sweet wingman for getting me girls

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I'm friends with a number of women both married and single. Methinks you're not looking for a friend.

 

[apologetic]

Married and friends? Yes. Single and friends? Probably not.

 

[BigToque]

I have plenty of friends who are girls, but I also know that every one of them has something that I would be looking for in a mate.

Socially they are "just friends". Instinctually they are around because they can have my children.

That's my theory at least.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Whats wrong with feeling attraction to your women friends? It's what you do that matters not a fleeting fantasy.

 

[her209]

It really depends on age.

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: Aimster
you are wrong

I have plenty of ugly female friends

ding ding ding winnar!

guys and girls can be great friends if there's no attraction to her

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: JEDI

Originally posted by: Aimster
you are wrong

I have plenty of ugly female friends

ding ding ding winnar!

guys and girls can be great friends if there's no attraction to her

You assume the attraction is one way.

 

[doze]

I can't really think of any female friends I have not been attracted to in some way. Sometimes getting to know a girl makes her more/or less attractive over time depending on the girl.

 

[flawlssdistortn]

Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
Whats wrong with feeling attraction to your women friends? It's what you do that matters not a fleeting fantasy.

Exactly, it doesn't matter whether you feel attraction every now and then. However, if you can't control yourself, then yes - you cannot be friends with women.

 

[Whisper]

I have quite a few female acquaintances (just as I do male acquaintances), and a handful of close female friends. Is the relationship the same as with my male friends? No, but that's more a factor of the individual's personality than his/her sex.

However, I will agree that in many instances, what might initially lead to the start of an opposite-sex relationship (platonic or romantic) is physical attraction. Additionally, I'm sure there are many guys who have attractive female friends largely because of said attractiveness. Let's face it, lots of times, guys enjoy looking at "pretty things," so to speak. If a friend can also be easy on the eyes, it makes for a good combination.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: kedlav
Ladder Theory

....is amusing, but not exactly true.

Well, except maybe for the bar crowd...but if you go out drinking 7 nights a week, you're not looking for a meaningful relationship anyway.

 

[Mallow]

Of course you can find people attractive but have no interest in romance. I have many good friends whom are female and married. I know both them and their husbands well. Although I think all of them are beautiful I have no interest in anything romantic with any of them.

 

[b0mbrman]

Originally posted by: BigToque
As in being "true" friends where there is no romantic connection.

I think that when you pick your closest friends, the only members of the opposite sex that you include are those that you find attractive in some way, either physically or mentally.

I don't believe the bond can ever be comparable to a best friend of the same sex where (assuming both parties are heterosexual) the relationship is completely platonic.

Thoughts?

Quite wrong when both parties are unattractive

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: LS20
quite wrong

Agreed.

But each side has to be mature and willing to be friends, otherwise it doens't work out.

I have some very good friendships with girls who I enjoy talking to (some I would date, some I wouldn't).

If either side isn't willing to work at a friendship though, the friendship is doomed to fail. Granted it is much easier for same gender friendships, but genuine opposite gender friendships exists, they are just harder to establish.

**EDIT**
Oh BTW, now that I am back in school while working, I study with some people in my classes. One of these people is a very attractive girl (she is intelligent and pretty), but I would not date her. I would consider her someone I could be friends with though.

Again, experience life a little and you will find that it can happen, but only if both sides are mature enough and willing enough to not let gender become a problem. You can be aware and careful of gender differences (in my experience, you definitely treat your friendships with girls much differently than your friendship with guys), but if you let it be an issue in the friendship, you have doomed it to failure. Also, with the mentallity that you cannot have friendships with the opposite gender, you have already doomed any genuine platonic friendship with the opposite sex. It is a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[f4phantom2500]

I have a few female friends that aren't unattractive, they're probably attractive, but it's hard to say how attractive they are; for some reason I think of them like cousins so I don't really think of them like that.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: f4phantom2500
I have a few female friends that aren't unattractive, they're probably attractive, but it's hard to say how attractive they are; for some reason I think of them like cousins so I don't really think of them like that.

Yeah, after a while, it just becomes weird to think of them any other way.