I can't speak in-front of people!

[nLinked]

I get very nervous if I am asked to talk or read out loud in-front of people such as in-front of my class. I continously worry what I look and sound like when I'm speaking and my words come out stuttering, bouncing on words, mumbling or merging words together, and I get red hot! When I look up at people, some have smirks on their face bacause of the way I'm reading out. I keep worrying abut what I look like to them and blush and sweat hard.

I really need to break this problem. I've been doing this forever and now I'm in university! I get a shortness of breath and don't breathe enough. If I breathe deeply, it's too obvious and people can see that I'm trying to get my breath back to prepeare for the next sentence.

I find that if I whisper something that I'm reading, I can do that easier and my words come out smoothly. But when I actually talk, the stuttering begins, and after a few paragraphs the back of my throat starts to ache.

I'm a very quiet person and tend to blush easily. I'm too conscious about the way I appear when I do something in front of people that I end up messing it up and go red. My written English is A-grade, but my speaking in-front of people is terrible. I can imagine the way I want to be, but I just can't do it on-front of people.

 

[olds]

Do you have a pair?

 

[pontifex]

you're not the only one.

this is a major problem for a lot of people, myself included.

 

[leftyman]

Do you pee your pants too?

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Do you have a pair?

too bad yours are where your brain should be

 

[Ryan]

I do the same thing - the only sure fire cure is get used to doing it, public speaking takes confidence, most of all, experience.

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Do you have a pair?

too bad yours are where your brain should be

At least I have both.
:roll:
Now go hijack someone else's thread.

 

[ThePresence]

I am the same way.
Here's what works for me.

Know your subject matter thoroughly.
When you are speaking concentrate on what you're saying, not on the fact you're speaking publicly.
Generally you'll be okay after the first few minutes.

 

[Flyback]

With that attitude you never will.

It is perfectly normal to get nervous. You can overcome it.

My advice is to know your material well, but don't recite it. If you try and memorize it you can and will screw up the ordering and make a gaffe (especially if it is a longer presentation).

Talk yourself up (in your head) before you present. This is superficial but it works quite well for me ("What do I care what these fvcks think of me.."). Be assertive when you get up there and keep it going. If you start out assertive, staring at people in the eye and using a strong voice, projecting a good body language, then it's easier to keep going.

You're only as bad as how you project yourself and people can sense it if you tremble in fear at the front. Even if it is a fake persona you use for the time at the front, it can get the job done. (That is what works for me.. some may disagree.)

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: Ryan
I do the same thing - the only sure fire cure is get used to doing it, public speaking takes confidence, most of all, experience.

That's what I did. I took a speech class to force myself to do it. I don't have a problem with it now.

 

[InlineFive]

I'm the same way. The only thing that has helped me with my "stage fright" is actually getting out there and getting experience doing it.

How comfortable are you on an interpersonal and/or small group basis?

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Do you have a pair?

too bad yours are where your brain should be

At least I have both.
:roll:
Now go hijack someone else's thread.

what, like you hijacked this one?

 

[Zolty]

Confidence or apathy take your pick and stick with it.

 

[bignateyk]

hmm. I always get really nervous beforehand, but as soon as I start talking, everything is fine.

Im not sure why I get nervous since I know that as soon as I start my presentation everything will go smoothly.

 

[manowar821]

I used to do the same thing, back in Jr High. Then I joined a punk band, and it just flowed out. Now I'm alright with speaking in front of people.

I still get a little jittery when I'm trying to talk to a beautiful female, but I can snap myself out of it.

My point is, try to get yourself into a situation where you can yell or sing, and no-body cares. You'll get used to it.

 

[Dualist]

It's hard to break through that if you're a quiet person, but it takes a while. I'm a quiet person also, but I had enough faith to speak out or perform in front of an audience.

Right now I'm into broadcast announcing and I'm trying to be presentable in front of the camera, and on the radio. It took me some practice, but somehow I've faced my fears and it paid off.

 

[olds]

They say to imagine your audience as naked when you speak. It's supposed to help you relax.
I tried it with this group but when I got to pontifex I laughed so hard that I lost my concentration.

 

[lozina]

I was like that in high school and college. But it just went away after graduating and getting a normal job. I am just getting less and less shy and I don't really know why. I don't regularly speak to large groups of people in my job but when I do there is far less anxiety about it as there was in school. *Shrug*

 

[DarkThinker]

I had a similar problem until I was 13 or something like that, it was at that point that I realized that all those people that I watched speaking in front of audiences didn't do a much better of a job it was just all my perception of my performance that was the problem. I also concluded that a lot of times the presentation itself isn't wasn't as important to people as much as either you leave a positive impression on them, like having a firm tone in your voice, making eye contact with everyone, and last but not least knowing your stuff really well, especially when your are asked a question outside the routine, being able to answer unexpected questions without trying to mislead people in order to make an exit for yourself lets everybody know that you are in control. If you think you know what you are talking about then most definitely notify people at some point that you would be eager to receive their questions and answer them on the spot.

 

[Aquaman]

Join Toastmasters

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[fuzzybabybunny]

What's your major?

I used to be like this (still am to some degree), but I'm gradually starting to get used to it as I go through college and many classes require you to present something publicly.

The hardest is when I really don't care about the subject matter, and therefore don't take the time to really know it. That's when I find myself stuttering, going "um" too many times, feeling nervous, etc.

The easiest is then I'm talking about something that I find interesting or know a lot about. Photography? I could talk all day to a large group of strangers and not feel a thing because all the information just comes to me naturally (as well it should).

It also helps a lot to socialize with the group that you're going to be presenting to. It's a lot easier to present to a group of friends or casual acquaintances than to a group of people you don't know and have not interacted with.

 

[DaShen]

Toastmasters FTW

 

[frostedflakes]

I can relate. Being nervous in these types of situations is normal, but not to this extent. Do you get nervous/worry what they are thinking around other groups or just in front of class? You might want to talk to your doctor about whether this is performance anxiety or some kind of social anxiety disorder. Sometimes these problems are chemical, meaning that medication may be able to help. Then once you're able to speak in front of others without completely freaking out you can get some practice doing it. Hopefully this will build up your confidence and comfort with these situations to the point where you will eventually be able to do it without any medication.

 

[purbeast0]

some type of Speech class should definitely be a requirement for all technical majors at college IMO.

i don't really have problems speaking in front of people, but if I do, it's generally before that I'll get nervous, and then as I start I'll be fine. As my college years went on it just got easier and easier. now at work sometimes I have to demo my work in front of the whole company, and generally before I go up I get a little nervous, but when I'm up there i'm fine. hell i speak a lot better than 90% of the older guys here when they give their demos.

but i really think speech should be a requirement for a lot of technical fields, because just looking back at my college classes in my major as well as the people at my job, speaking to other people is something most of the engineers here are not good at.

 

[Mxylplyx]

I was the same way in college, though I've gotten a bit better at it. I would not breathe enough, and then when I was short on breath, it would sound like I was crying or something. Very emberassing. I'd do this in a lecture hall in front of a hundred people. I think it's a self confidence thing.