I broke my imagination!
- Thread starter Kaido
- Start date
why not? It's good for what ails ya.Kaido should decide. The adventures might be a bit more interesting and imaginative if it were though.
Another variable for the initial poster to decide. Being a cow, maybe not leather. Or maybe that's why the cow is feared and hated or awed. Mmm...beef. I had NY steak for dinner yesterday!
I personally think that's exactly why the cow is feared. He has not reverence for his own kind.
I want steak now. Maybe I'll just treat myself to thai food Friday night.
- Feb 14, 2004
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Backstory
So the cow, being spherical and thereby shunned by his own kind, mosied over to the farmer's house one night. He saw a strange light coming from the window, so he walked closer to investigate. Upon arrival, he discovered a square box and colored lights coming from it. Lo and behold, it was Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. Of course, being a cow, and being spherical to boot, he didn't know that. He watched in awe as Indy fought Nazis, saved children, and generally perfomed great feats. And of course, the whip. The leather whip. The remarkable device that could overcome machine guns, bombs, and 1,000-year-old sacred temple killing traps.
The cow began to think, because, being a spherical cow, much of his bulk was devoted to his brain. However, such cows have such small brains to begin with, the larger brain wasn't quite equivalent to a human brain, more like an...Igor brain. Let's just say he wasn't all there. That night, the images ran through his mind, over and over and over again. The cow decided he could not continue wasting his life in the pasture by the farmer's house. No sir, he had a world to save. So he broke into the barn to find supplies to help him. He found a gun, but couldn't use it, because he didn't have fingers. He tried tying a pitchfork to his back, but that didn't work because it kept hitting him in the head. AHAH! Sitting there on the back wall of the barn, with a single, solitary ray of sunshine on it, was The Whip. The Whip of Doom. The Whip of Destruction. That was the whip he needed to save the world. Not having hands, of course, he couldn't use it that well. So, after much work, he was able to tie it to his tail. He practiced whipping it long into the night, killing a few chickens accidentally while practicing. However, he soon got good enough where he could whip it at Mach 1.32. The sonic boom was powerful enough to shatter glass in the entire barn and the outhouse ten feet away.
Now the cow was ready to save the world. Excited about these recent developments, he wanted to show the other cows what he had done and get their support in his quest to save them. To save them from a fate of 2% milk and McDonald's Big Macs. He called their attention and showed them the whip. Suddendly, one shouted out, "Hey, it's made of LEATHER!" Cries of "you animal!" and "killer!" and "cannibal!" assailed the night. Ah well, the cow thought. A prophet is always shunned in his own country. That night, he left the pasture to begin his journeyed, somewhat miffed that no one liked him but intent on saving his fellow brethren.
And so begins the journey...
Keep adding to it!
So the cow, being spherical and thereby shunned by his own kind, mosied over to the farmer's house one night. He saw a strange light coming from the window, so he walked closer to investigate. Upon arrival, he discovered a square box and colored lights coming from it. Lo and behold, it was Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. Of course, being a cow, and being spherical to boot, he didn't know that. He watched in awe as Indy fought Nazis, saved children, and generally perfomed great feats. And of course, the whip. The leather whip. The remarkable device that could overcome machine guns, bombs, and 1,000-year-old sacred temple killing traps.
The cow began to think, because, being a spherical cow, much of his bulk was devoted to his brain. However, such cows have such small brains to begin with, the larger brain wasn't quite equivalent to a human brain, more like an...Igor brain. Let's just say he wasn't all there. That night, the images ran through his mind, over and over and over again. The cow decided he could not continue wasting his life in the pasture by the farmer's house. No sir, he had a world to save. So he broke into the barn to find supplies to help him. He found a gun, but couldn't use it, because he didn't have fingers. He tried tying a pitchfork to his back, but that didn't work because it kept hitting him in the head. AHAH! Sitting there on the back wall of the barn, with a single, solitary ray of sunshine on it, was The Whip. The Whip of Doom. The Whip of Destruction. That was the whip he needed to save the world. Not having hands, of course, he couldn't use it that well. So, after much work, he was able to tie it to his tail. He practiced whipping it long into the night, killing a few chickens accidentally while practicing. However, he soon got good enough where he could whip it at Mach 1.32. The sonic boom was powerful enough to shatter glass in the entire barn and the outhouse ten feet away.
Now the cow was ready to save the world. Excited about these recent developments, he wanted to show the other cows what he had done and get their support in his quest to save them. To save them from a fate of 2% milk and McDonald's Big Macs. He called their attention and showed them the whip. Suddendly, one shouted out, "Hey, it's made of LEATHER!" Cries of "you animal!" and "killer!" and "cannibal!" assailed the night. Ah well, the cow thought. A prophet is always shunned in his own country. That night, he left the pasture to begin his journeyed, somewhat miffed that no one liked him but intent on saving his fellow brethren.
And so begins the journey...
Keep adding to it!
Nice start. I'll try to add to this later. Though by then, the cow will have probably done some odd things considering the ATOT populace.
The cow, quick for a circular cow, ran from the dogs, pickets and cries of pain, and stepped out of the pastures; for the first time he saw what was beyond the horizon.
It was a continuation of his own world, except much vaster, and a lot more blue. "The stuff of dreams!", he thought. The cow, being too fast and not careful enough, seemed to have fallen off the edge of a cliff and onto a ship. The first time seeing the vast ocean made the cow excited enough to warrant a song. Unfortunately the three onboard weren't thrilled with his singing, but smiled when they saw what the gods have given them.
It was a continuation of his own world, except much vaster, and a lot more blue. "The stuff of dreams!", he thought. The cow, being too fast and not careful enough, seemed to have fallen off the edge of a cliff and onto a ship. The first time seeing the vast ocean made the cow excited enough to warrant a song. Unfortunately the three onboard weren't thrilled with his singing, but smiled when they saw what the gods have given them.
Unfortunately for the cow, his lack of quickness was not only physical but mental as well. As such, he was thrilled when the captain told him they would be having them for dinner. "Great!" he exulted, "But what should I bring?" The captain responded with the barest hint of a smile, "Oh, just make sure you come 'dressed' for the occasion." Licking his lips, he added, "And don't forget to shower before you come. We ran out of water, so you'll have to use this meat sauce. And we ran out of brushes, so just use this meat tenderizer." Oblivious to the millions of gallons of water all around the shift, the spherical cow accepted the tenderizer greatly and began itching himself with it rather hard. The first mate was so overcome at this point (it had been weeks since the crew had had meat) that he dashed forward and took out a big chunk of flanksteak. "WOAH now," the cow bleated, "I"m just not into that kind of thing." And without another word, he jumped over the ship, leaving a trail of groans and salivating sailors in his wake. The Captain turned to the first mate and with a mad glint in his eye said, "Well, it may not be steak, but I kind of had a hunkering for something a little more lean myself." The first mate glanced around nervously...
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