I am officially a corporate sell-out

[Howard]

Originally posted by: iamme
"Spear-heading" is my favorite.

I had my first WTF?! moment when i was interning and heard a manager use that word (and then proceed to use it over and over and over and over)

Taking a term used to describe the method to kill animals in the African jungle or Spartans killing Persians thousands of years ago, is so suitable for business, lol.

Nah, spearheading is alright.

 

[JackBurton]

Originally posted by: Flyback
Once you realize that synergy is good you will be part of the paradigm shift of web 2.0 goodness. Its about user-driven content that facilitates er um something.

This guys has upper management written all over him. 🙂

 

[JRich]

Originally posted by: Phokus

Originally posted by: 91TTZ
http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html


I feel that in this thread we can leverage compelling experiences and orchestrate web-enabled systems. Furthermore, using that speech can harness value-added e-business by incentivizing compelling infomediaries. Those who cannot envisioneer 24/7 web services will forever work under someone who can transform collaborative technologies.

This is what i got when i used the BS generator:

"disintermediate transparent vortals"

I don't even know wtf 'disintermediate' and 'vortals' mean...

Then I suggest you think outside the box on your next action-list.

I got this from that site: mesh robust action-items.

I swear I heard someone say this today in our meeting. 😀

 

[Kaervak]

Don't forget to touch base after the productivity meeting.




On a side note, i fvcking hate the phrase "touch base." Empty and soulless.

 

[spidey07]

Welcome to The Club. You'll like it here.

"Utilizing proven strategic methodology we can eliminate waste processes and human capital. Once levied expenses now become cost avoidance and our focus becomes more targeted at building the brand. Affected human capital tasks can be 'focus shifted' to remaining capital investments."

That's how you say "we're firing a bunch of people and moving the work to already overworked grunts".

 

[KingGheedora]

I half want to send out the link to that article everyone at work, reigning in a new era of non-douche-baggy emails and conversations. But I fear the people who talk like this will take offense and hate me for it.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: KingGheedora
I half want to send out the link to that article everyone at work, reigning in a new era of non-douche-baggy emails and conversations. But I fear the people who talk like this will take offense and hate me for it.

Gotta learn how to play the game. Either you play or you're out.

 

[trmiv]

I hate the corporate speak. I was working at a small 10 person company one time when my boss started springing this crap on me. We were in a meeting and he asks me "What is your bandwidth? Because I need you to own this process." Later in the same meeting he goes "OK, make sure to touch base with me about your action items." This started as a very informal small company, and then he started with this stuff. Maybe he took a class. That was when I knew it was time to go. So glad I don't work there anymore.

 

[KingGheedora]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: KingGheedora
I half want to send out the link to that article everyone at work, reigning in a new era of non-douche-baggy emails and conversations. But I fear the people who talk like this will take offense and hate me for it.

Gotta learn how to play the game. Either you play or you're out.

Obviously. You can't openly fight the system and still expect them to employ you. I fight subversively. By leaving things like this haiku printed out on people's desks:

Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The Queen is their slave

j/k... Most of the people who know what they're doing don't use the business speak. I just want to roll my eyes when the few bad apples get carried away with that crap.

 

[j00fek]

i am wowing right now

 

[dmcowen674]

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