I am a Jew

[Dumac]

There are dwarf hippos...

 

[Madwand1]

I'd like to know some things about Judaism. I have no specific intent here -- only a wish for less ignorance.

I've read this: http://judaism.about.com/library/3_askrabbi_o/bl_simmons_afterlife.htm

and found some of it interesting.

As usual, I find such question interesting at the onset.

I've browsed some of the recommendations from here: http://www.jewfaq.org/kabbalah.htm

and found some of it appealing but not filling.

Some specific questions:

1. Is there one heaven state or are there two different ones (not counting hell)?
2. Is a heaven open to atheists or agnostics, among others, who lead a good life?
3. Are there some in Judaism (besides Moses) who:

a. Like Jesus spoke/wrote as if with originality, and not "just" learned interpretation of Torah/etc.?
b. Had a circle of devoted followers.
c. Have followers who to this day visit their tombs, etc.?

Who are they? What did they write? Are there any accessible and recommended English translations?

4. Allowing a bend of mind that looks for the universal more than differences and narrow distinctions, more about the divine than the mundane and cultural, are there any texts with accessible English translations that you would recommend?

 

[Muse]

Originally posted by: naldo
Since theres a couple jews here, I have a few questions, (all serious questions)

1) Are you really all related, every jewish person I've known always seemed to be related in some way to every other jewish person I knew.
2) What does "oy vey" mean?
3) What is with those other random jew words (if thats an offensive term I'll remove it) jewish women say all the time? Is it hebrew or something or just some kind of slang for stuff (If you're jewish you'll know what I'm talking about).
4) Why can you guys only eat certain parts of animals? At one time all the parts were connected together so I don't really see how some parts could be bad and others okay.
5) Are there any poor jews? I've never seen any and was just wondering if you guys had some kind of secret place you send them or if you guys just look out for each other.
6) And last but not least, if you were to eat a bacon cheese burger (which from my understanding of jewish food laws would be considered a double whammy), is that like a one way ticket to hell or can you just repent or whatever?

Thanks in advance.

OK, since I'm Jewish I'll chime in. I figure someone else has answered, but I am not going to do the research. Anyway, here's my take. This post appears to be quite serious and deserves an answer.

1. Never even heard that one before. Can't relate to it.
2. "Oy veh" is a contraction for "Oy vey ist mir", which is Yiddish for "I'm bummed!" That's more or less the literal meaning (to be rather literal, it would be "it is heavy with me", but in typical usage it would idiomatically come out a lot more like the latino "ay yay yay!"
3. Yeah, it's Yiddish, which is a sort of Jewish specific language that developed over the years. It borrows from a number of languages, but more than any other from German. When I studied German at the university this became clear to me. Not all Jews nowadays speak Yiddish or understand much of it. I know a lot of the idioms but I can't converse in it by any means and would probably understand little of a real conversation.
4. It's the laws of kosher, which I think is part of the Talmud, a sacred Jewish book/script, and I think part of the Torah, a very sacred Jewish "book." Google Torah and you will no doubt see some graphics (well, I'd think so, if it's not forbidden). It's not a a book as we know books in the modern world. They've retained the old traditions in that it's a long unified document that's rolled around and around a long central stick, all covered with a silken cover with Hebrew adornments. The torah is an object of considerable reverance and ceremony, and studied by deeply religious Jews.

The laws of Kosher, which are honored if you are an orthodox Jew, specify that certain animals and certain parts of animals should not be eaten. They also specify that animals that are eaten should be killed in a certain way. They should be killed humanely, for one thing. The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.
5. Poor Jews? I had a Jewish girlfriend whose family had been pretty poor as she was growing up based on the stories she told me. Her father was on again off again employed and unemployed. It was kind of tough, but they weren't homeless. I'm sure there are some very poor Jews out there, probably especially in places like Africa.
6. From my perspective, as a Jew you do not live in fear of an eternity in Hell for violating some taboo. Jews are much more practical in outlook than that.

See some Woody Allen movies. There's a guy who knows about being Jewish in the modern world. Well, seeing his films, especially the ones in which Woody appears or stars, will give you a lot of perspective into the subjective experience of being a modern Jew, at least a New York Jew.

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: naldo
5) Are there any poor jews? I've never seen any and was just wondering if you guys had some kind of secret place you send them or if you guys just look out for each other.

made me LOL. and i have to admit, Ive never seen a poor Jew.

 

[MiniDoom]

Originally posted by: Aharami

Originally posted by: naldo
5) Are there any poor jews? I've never seen any and was just wondering if you guys had some kind of secret place you send them or if you guys just look out for each other.

made me LOL. and i have to admit, Ive never seen a poor Jew.

go to Baltimore, there are plenty.

 

[beach2nd]

I'm just a Jew
A lonely Jew
On Christmaaaaaas

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease, E-coli and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

 

[MiniDoom]

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

I?ve read some interesting Karbala about pork and why it?s forbidding. You would probably understand, but most here wouldn?t. Something along the line of pigs being created of a more wild-untamed energy that we as a result of eating become. But it?s allot more complicated than that.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k
Why has science not yet created miniature hippos that we can keep as pets?

I've actually been working on a plan to engineer miniature giraffes for pets. Hippos have dangerous teeth, and a nasty temperament. I think I will make my first billion engineering mini giraffes

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: rdubbz420

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

I?ve read some interesting Karbala about pork and why it?s forbidding. You would probably understand, but most here wouldn?t. Something along the line of pigs being created of a more wild-untamed energy that we as a result of eating become. But it?s allot more complicated than that.

I don't mean to be rude, but I really doubt you understand Kabbalah. It's impossible for anyone to understand even the basic concepts of Kabbalah without knowing and studying the Torah in depth for many, many years. Most Jewish scholars would not even attempt to study the mystical teaching of Kabbalah until they are advanced in years and study. There is an unspoken law that one should not attempt to study it until one is at last 40 years old and considered a scholar. The notion these celebs understand an iota of real Kabbalah is ridiculous, and so are those who teach it to them. It's a moneymaking gimmick by people who may think they understand a thing or two but in reality have no clue wtf they're talking about. As for myself, I have a different outlook on Jewish mysticism which is not shared by many Jews, yet was taught to me by my grandfather who learned it from those before him.

 

[MiniDoom]

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: rdubbz420

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

I?ve read some interesting Karbala about pork and why it?s forbidding. You would probably understand, but most here wouldn?t. Something along the line of pigs being created of a more wild-untamed energy that we as a result of eating become. But it?s allot more complicated than that.

I don't mean to be rude, but I really doubt you understand Kabbalah. It's impossible for anyone to understand even the basic concepts of Kabbalah without knowing and studying the Torah in depth for many, many years. Most Jewish scholars would not even attempt to study the mystical teaching of Kabbalah until they are advanced in years and study. There is an unspoken law that one should not attempt to study it until one is at last 40 years old and considered a scholar. The notion these celebs understand an iota of real Kabbalah is ridiculous, and so are those who teach it to them. It's a moneymaking gimmick by people who may think they understand a thing or two but in reality have no clue wtf they're talking about. As for myself, I have a different outlook on Jewish mysticism which is not shared by many Jews, yet was taught to me by my grandfather who learned it from those before him.

Let me rephrase that, I?ve read a good rabbinical interpretation of Kabbalah on pork that made sense to me. And this was at Chabad, not the Hollywood BS.

 

[purbeast0]

If you live in Maryland in Montgomery County, this is a good jewish market I used to work at.

http://www.sniderfoods.com

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: rdubbz420

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: rdubbz420

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

I?ve read some interesting Karbala about pork and why it?s forbidding. You would probably understand, but most here wouldn?t. Something along the line of pigs being created of a more wild-untamed energy that we as a result of eating become. But it?s allot more complicated than that.

I don't mean to be rude, but I really doubt you understand Kabbalah. It's impossible for anyone to understand even the basic concepts of Kabbalah without knowing and studying the Torah in depth for many, many years. Most Jewish scholars would not even attempt to study the mystical teaching of Kabbalah until they are advanced in years and study. There is an unspoken law that one should not attempt to study it until one is at last 40 years old and considered a scholar. The notion these celebs understand an iota of real Kabbalah is ridiculous, and so are those who teach it to them. It's a moneymaking gimmick by people who may think they understand a thing or two but in reality have no clue wtf they're talking about. As for myself, I have a different outlook on Jewish mysticism which is not shared by many Jews, yet was taught to me by my grandfather who learned it from those before him.

Let me rephrase that, I?ve read a good rabbinical interpretation of Karbala on pork that made sense to me. And this was at Chabad, not the Hollywood BS.

Heh, okay. Most of my comment was not directed at you, just generally.
I have fundamental issues with Chabad, but that's completely beside the point.
They do good work.

 

[AnitaPeterson]

Actually, I appreciate the Jewish tradition of learning as much as possible, and the constant (mostly family-related) encouragement (and even harassment!) to be as good as you can in whatever you do... I think that's one of the reasons why some of the people in this thread say they've never seen poor or destitute Jews.

 

[MiniDoom]

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: rdubbz420

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: rdubbz420

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

I?ve read some interesting Karbala about pork and why it?s forbidding. You would probably understand, but most here wouldn?t. Something along the line of pigs being created of a more wild-untamed energy that we as a result of eating become. But it?s allot more complicated than that.

I don't mean to be rude, but I really doubt you understand Kabbalah. It's impossible for anyone to understand even the basic concepts of Kabbalah without knowing and studying the Torah in depth for many, many years. Most Jewish scholars would not even attempt to study the mystical teaching of Kabbalah until they are advanced in years and study. There is an unspoken law that one should not attempt to study it until one is at last 40 years old and considered a scholar. The notion these celebs understand an iota of real Kabbalah is ridiculous, and so are those who teach it to them. It's a moneymaking gimmick by people who may think they understand a thing or two but in reality have no clue wtf they're talking about. As for myself, I have a different outlook on Jewish mysticism which is not shared by many Jews, yet was taught to me by my grandfather who learned it from those before him.

Let me rephrase that, I?ve read a good rabbinical interpretation of Karbala on pork that made sense to me. And this was at Chabad, not the Hollywood BS.

Heh, okay. Most of my comment was not directed at you, just generally.
I have fundamental issues with Chabad, but that's completely beside the point.
They do good work.

no worries, I completely understand. :beer:

 

[MrsBugi]

You've got chutzpah, randomvariable! :wine:

 

[FeuerFrei]

Originally posted by: MrsBugi
You've got chutzpah, randomvariable! :wine:

Oh look, she's giving you a glass full of chutzpah!

 

[DBL]

Speaking of poor Jews, some of the ultra-religious (Satmars, Lubavitch) are often very poor. Of course, this probably stems from having as many children as possible while only allowing the women to work as the men must study the torah exclusively.

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: DBL
Speaking of poor Jews, some of the ultra-religious (Satmars, Lubavitch) are often very poor. Of course, this probably stems from having as many children as possible while only allowing the women to work as the men must study the torah exclusively.

Satmar doesn't believe that and Lubavitch certainly doesn't. They believe that those who want to study should be allowed to if their families are okay with it and they have a way to support themselves. Most do not sit and study all day once they have families. However, there are many religious familes, not just hassidic, that feel they want to make scarifices in their lifestlye to allow for all-day studying. Good for them, who am I to tell them different?

 

[DBL]

Originally posted by: ThePresence
Satmar doesn't believe that and Lubavitch certainly doesn't. They believe that those who want to study should be allowed to if their families are okay with it and they have a way to support themselves. Most do not sit and study all day once they have families. However, there are many religious familes, not just hassidic, that feel they want to make scarifices in their lifestlye to allow for all-day studying. Good for them, who am I to tell them different?

Who said anything about telling them different (although you could make a strong case for doing just that)? I was just pointing out some of the reasons for very poor Jews that others seem to think do not exist.

However, your reasoning that this is a family decision is pretty laughable since these are male dominated societies. IOW, the women don't really have a choice. In Brooklyn, I've personally witnessed many ultra-religious families with greater than 7 children where the women is the only wage earner. Whether this is technically their belief is really irrelevant since that what is often done and accepted by the society.

I'd also point out that the idea that what they do is their business starts to fall apart in a city like NY (and probably a lot of other places), where the BoE is responsible for providing services for these children where the services do not exist in their respective Yeshivas. So, the average tax payer is certainly affected.

 

[Muse]

Originally posted by: Aharami

Originally posted by: naldo
5) Are there any poor jews? I've never seen any and was just wondering if you guys had some kind of secret place you send them or if you guys just look out for each other.

made me LOL. and i have to admit, Ive never seen a poor Jew.

No, you have. You just didn't know they are Jewish. Anyway, the poor tend to be pretty invisible. People don't pay much attention to them, as a rule. Like the song goes, "no one knows you when you are down and out."

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: DBL

Originally posted by: ThePresence
Satmar doesn't believe that and Lubavitch certainly doesn't. They believe that those who want to study should be allowed to if their families are okay with it and they have a way to support themselves. Most do not sit and study all day once they have families. However, there are many religious familes, not just hassidic, that feel they want to make scarifices in their lifestlye to allow for all-day studying. Good for them, who am I to tell them different?

Who said anything about telling them different (although you could make a strong case for doing just that)? I was just pointing out some of the reasons for very poor Jews that others seem to think do not exist.

I didn't mean it that way, poor choice of words on my part.

However, your reasoning that this is a family decision is pretty laughable since these are male dominated societies. IOW, the women don't really have a choice. In Brooklyn, I've personally witnessed many ultra-religious families with greater than 7 children where the women is the only wage earner. Whether this is technically their belief is really irrelevant since that what is often done and accepted by the society.

As far as it being a male-dominated society, that is incorrect. The cases you witnesses notwithstanding, I myself am an Orthodox Jew originally from Brooklyn. And yes, it's usually a family choice. Sure, there are many cases when the woman is the only earner and most times it's because they chose to sacrifice for what they believe in. Of course there are some rotten apples who think his means they can get a free ride, etc, but those cases are not the norm.

I'd also point out that the idea that what they do is their business starts to fall apart in a city like NY (and probably a lot of other places), where the BoE is responsible for providing services for these children where the services do not exist in their respective Yeshivas. So, the average tax payer is certainly affected.

Keep in mind that they attend private schools and pay city taxes that support the public school system. But it's an entirely different discussion, and there are arguments both ways.

 

[Muse]

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease, E-coli and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

Call me a cynic, but it wasn't God who decided what was kosher and what wasn't. It was rabbis. "We don't know." OK, you don't know. I can't say I know, but I said "probably" because people who ate pork were known to get a certain nasty disease. If they had mad cow back then to any great extent it would have been a no no to eat beef, if the conditions permitted that. Anyway, priests (and rabbis are priests) have a way of obfuscating the real reasons when they lay down their pronouncements.

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: Muse

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Muse The origin of the law against eating pork was probably due to the prevalence of tricinosis, a parasite desease contracted from eating undercooked pork, and still a threat, of course.

That's a misconception. The Torah forbids the eating of any animal that does not have split hooves and does not chew it's cud. Both things are necessary for the animal to be eaten. A pig has split hooves but does not chew it's cud, so it's forbidden. As far as WHY it's not allowed, we don't know. It's what God said. I mean, God knew about mad cow disease, E-coli and cholesterol as well, yet he permits us to eat cow.

Call me a cynic, but it wasn't God who decided what was kosher and what wasn't. It was rabbis. "We don't know." OK, you don't know. I can't say I know, but I said "probably" because people who ate pork were known to get a certain nasty disease. If they had mad cow back then to any great extent it would have been a no no to eat beef, if the conditions permitted that. Anyway, priests (and rabbis are priests) have a way of obfuscating the real reasons when they lay down their pronouncements.

Call it what you want, but those guidelines are in the Torah word for word.

 

[40sTheme]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k
Why has science not yet created miniature hippos that we can keep as pets?

That would be sweet; I'd buy one in a heartbeat.