I AM A BAD AMERICAN

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N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
The email that I got says that it's written by George Carlin, but some of the things listed don't quite fit Carlin's typical tune. Oh well. They're entertaining anyway. :)

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

By George Carlin

I am your worst nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I blieve that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I thikn that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment thatn working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through four years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her god when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever cancelled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pitty the poor.

I know wrestling is fake I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

I never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut the hell up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jessy Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and never part of the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

We need our country back!
Click to expand...
 
halik

halik

Lifer
Oct 10, 2000
25,696
1
81
blah,
look at me im white and i hate n***** and theres a confederate flag under my bed...

What a pile of close-minded, arrogant crap that is...
 
H

Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,982
11
81
Originally posted by: halik
blah,
look at me im white and i hate n***** and theres a confederate flag under my bed...

What a pile of close-minded, arrogant crap that is...
Click to expand...
look at me im African-American and i hate honkeys and my roommate is missing a lung...
 
N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: halik
blah,
look at me im white and i hate n***** and theres a confederate flag under my bed...

What a pile of close-minded, arrogant crap that is...
Click to expand...

Where did this come from? Where is George Carlin exactly acting like this?
 
Zenmervolt

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
44
91
It's been attributed to Ted Nugent too. Neither Carlin nor Nugent are responsible for it and it has been floating around for a long time. Still, I really like it.

ZV
 
N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
It's been attributed to Ted Nugent too. Neither Carlin nor Nugent are responsible for it and it has been floating around for a long time. Still, I really like it.

ZV
Click to expand...

Yeah, I didn't think so. Carlin's changed a lot from his younger days (read: wised up), but this is just too different from his style anyway.
 
F

Feldenak

Lifer
Jan 31, 2003
14,090
2
81
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
You are a bad person and I hate you.
Click to expand...

And you're any better?
Click to expand...

Yes, because he is obviously a "progressive" thinker while you must be some sort of knuckle dragger if you agree with any of that.
rolleye.gif
 
N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
You are a bad person and I hate you.
Click to expand...

And you're any better?
Click to expand...

Yes.
Click to expand...

Ah, a "holier-than-thou" kinda guy? And how exactly does this make you better than me?

And why the FVCK do my threads always end up in flames? Why do people CONSTANTLY push my buttons without provocation?
 
W

WinkOsmosis

Banned
Sep 18, 2002
13,990
1
0
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
You are a bad person and I hate you.
Click to expand...

And you're any better?
Click to expand...

Yes.
Click to expand...

Ah, a "holier-than-thou" kinda guy? And how exactly does this make you better than me?

And why the FVCK do my threads always end up in flames? Why do people CONSTANTLY push my buttons without provocation?
Click to expand...

Mellow out man. I don't hate you. I just hate you.
 
B

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
I'm afraid I'll have to go with George on this one.

And I think it IS George.
In fact I think I may have a MP3 of him saying that in one of his routines.
 
P

pulse8

Lifer
May 3, 2000
20,860
1
81
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
Click to expand...
I stopped reading after that because I don't believe George Carlin wrote this.

I find it hard to believe that the same guy that does a bit on the pussification of the American male also says that he's proud to be in touch with his feelings.
 
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