these are actual warning labelsTop Ten Perks Of Being Saddam Hussein's Stepson
10. For your birthday, you get the head of an infidel
9. People never refer to you as "The crazy one in the family"
8. On weekends, you get to bring home weapons of mass destruction
7. Don't want to clean your room? Threaten to tell the United States dad's exact location
6. Play your cards right and in 10 years you'll be torturing the Iraqi people
5. Unique chance to observe a tyrannical madman up close
4. Big inheritance when U.S. troops finally kill your stepfather
3. Father-son bonding over 3am prank calls to U.N. weapons inspectors
2. You can get first pick of the police auction's seized and repossessed camels
1. Get to call Bin Laden "Uncle Osama"
Home Early
==========
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a
female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette,
"let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette
gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde
goes home to find her husband having it off with the female boss! She
quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught!!"
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
(and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You are one jurassic geezer.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear
phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend.
(who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).
5. I don't date men where I work.
(Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same
'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's not me, it's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling
as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by women
(and what it actually means)
1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail
about all the other men I meet and have sex with.
It's that male perspective thing)
____________________________________________
here is the male perspective on the same issue ...
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men
(and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)
6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)
2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by men
(and what it actually means)
1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)
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