BaliBabyDoc
Lifer
It's funny in Kansas just a sampling . . .
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning at the third tee (par 3, 185 yards, slight dog leg to left, water hazard on the right) while a particularly slow group of golfers were flailing away ahead of them.
Engineer: "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"
Doctor: "I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!" Priest: "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him. Hi, George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
George: "Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year, so we let them play here anytime, free of charge!"
Doctor: "Wow! Thanks for the scoop, George."
Priest: "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
Doctor: "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
After a short pause, the engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family. But that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-alec in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
Members of the class do their best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the kid, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
A father and son walk into a store. While the father is shopping for groceries, the son stops at the condoms section. The son asks, "What are these, Dad?"
"Those are condoms," the father said. "They are for sex."
"Why do they come in packages of three, Dad?" the son asked.
"Well, son," the father said, "those are for high schoolers. One is for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday."
"But there are six in this package," observed the son.
"Well, those are for college kids," the father lectured. "Two are for Friday, two for Saturday and one for Sunday."
"But this package has 12, Dad," the boy said.
The father said, "Those are for married couples. One is for January, one for February, one for March . . ."
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning at the third tee (par 3, 185 yards, slight dog leg to left, water hazard on the right) while a particularly slow group of golfers were flailing away ahead of them.
Engineer: "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"
Doctor: "I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!" Priest: "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him. Hi, George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
George: "Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year, so we let them play here anytime, free of charge!"
Doctor: "Wow! Thanks for the scoop, George."
Priest: "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
Doctor: "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
After a short pause, the engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family. But that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-alec in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
Members of the class do their best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the kid, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
A father and son walk into a store. While the father is shopping for groceries, the son stops at the condoms section. The son asks, "What are these, Dad?"
"Those are condoms," the father said. "They are for sex."
"Why do they come in packages of three, Dad?" the son asked.
"Well, son," the father said, "those are for high schoolers. One is for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday."
"But there are six in this package," observed the son.
"Well, those are for college kids," the father lectured. "Two are for Friday, two for Saturday and one for Sunday."
"But this package has 12, Dad," the boy said.
The father said, "Those are for married couples. One is for January, one for February, one for March . . ."
