Humerous Answering Machine Recordings

[neomits]

What would be some good Phone Machine Recordings that would be funny (but could also work and not be too dumb)

I remember once someone had a tape of someone giving this ramble of "you are the 1000th caller and you have won... blah blah balh"

what do you know of or can think of?

 

[ohtwell]

I liked the one that George had on his machine on "Seinfeld". I can't remember what it said but I know I thought it was hillarious when I heard it.


: ) Amanda

 

[pulse8]

I always try to leave 2 or 3 seconds between "Hello" and the rest of my message. Makes people think someone actually answered the phone.

It'll get 'em most of the time no matter how often they call you, too.

 

[Supermercado]

"The fingers you have used to dial... are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now."

My roommate found an MP3 of some guy singing about bovine freedom. The chorus of the whole song is on our answering machine now. 30 seconds. We didn't even record a message to go with it. We figured that people that were calling us would know that we're morons and would have an answering machine message like that.

 

[Aquaman]

Originally posted by: ohtwell
I liked the one that George had on his machine on "Seinfeld". I can't remember what it said but I know I thought it was hillarious when I heard it.


: ) Amanda

[to the music of the greatest american superhero]

Believe it or not Geroge Costanza's not home
Please leave a message at the Beeeeeeeeeep.......

Were could he beeeeeeeeeee
Believe it or not George is not at home

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[TechnoKid]

"City morg.. How can I help you?"

 

[StattlichPassat]

Wasn't this a repost from today already?

 

[Frosty3799]

Ever heard the one about the cat and the 1000 volt power supply or something.. i dont remember the exact wording but it was something like this:

"(serious voice) This answering machine is connected to a one-thousand volt power supply, which is then connected to this small kitten ... (moew from a kitten). If you hang up before leaving a message, little fi-fi here will be blown to smitherines. Its your choice."

EDIT: i cant spell

 

[DAWeinG]

Originally posted by: ohtwell
I liked the one that George had on his machine on "Seinfeld". I can't remember what it said but I know I thought it was hillarious when I heard it.


: ) Amanda

lol I have that for my cell phone's mailbox. Except I recorded the song and the part where he says his name, I replaced it with mine BHAWHAWHHAW

 

[Kev]

my answering machine message was one of my friends screaming at the top of his lungs for 30 seconds...

 

[dolph]

actually, it goes like this...
"bah dum bah dum bah bah
believe it or not, george isn't at home
please leave a message at the beep,
i must be out, or i'd pick up the phone
where could i be?
believe it or not, i'm not home"

 

[AndyHui]

"Hello. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again. Thankyou and have a nice day."

 

[PsychoAndy]

Originally posted by: NightFlyerGTI
Wasn't this a repost from today already?

Obligatory "I don't care if it is a repost, I haven't seen it" reply.

 

[Cyberian]

Originally posted by: Frosty3799
Ever heard the one about the cat and the 1000 volt power supply or something.. i dont remember the exact wording but it was something like this:

"(serious voice) This answering machine is connected to a one-thousand volt power supply, which is then connected to this small kitten ... (moew from a kitten). If you hang up before leaving a message, little fi-fi here will be blown to smitherines. Its your choice."

EDIT: i cant spell

Oh, so now we can kill kittens remotely?

 

[NetworkDad]

This (288k) is one of my favorite messages...I've stuck it on my voicemail before.

 

[PsychoAndy]

Originally posted by: Aquaman

Originally posted by: ohtwell
I liked the one that George had on his machine on "Seinfeld". I can't remember what it said but I know I thought it was hillarious when I heard it.


: ) Amanda

[to the music of the greatest american superhero]

Believe it or not Geroge Costanza's not home
Please leave a message at the Beeeeeeeeeep.......

Were could he beeeeeeeeeee
Believe it or not George is not at home

Cheers,
Aquaman

The ENTIRE message:

Believe it or not Geroge isnt at home
Please leave a message at the Beeeeeeeeeep.......

I must be out or i'd pick up the phone....
Where could I be?

Believe it or not, i'm not hoooooooommmmme.

-PAB

 

[cdan]

In a Yoda voice, "Answer the phone we cannot do. Leave a message and we will get back to you."

 

[Soccer55]

Originally posted by: SuperCommando
"The fingers you have used to dial... are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now."

I used this for my voicemail in my freshman year of college and I can't even begin to tell you how many voicemails I had that consisted of the tones from someone mashing the keypad.

Another good one is:
"Hello"
[pause]
"Hello"
[pause]
"I can't hear you, can you speak up a little louder?"
[pause]
"Can you speak up a little louder, I still can't hear you"
[pause]
"I can't hear you because I'm not home right now..."

-Tom