hows my resume?

[DarkManX]

link I created my 1st resume, let me know what u guys think, and what I should change/fix.

*updated*
*updated 3/9*

 

[iamwiz82]

good insensitive?

EDIT: Revise your entire objective.

EDIT 2: Change "High School Student" to "General Education"

EDIT 3: Think of a better title than "In Store Emplyoee."

EDIT 4: Cell phones, Satellite Service, Broadband) - No caps for any of these words.

EDIT 5: You need to keep the same voice throughout the resume. IE: Helping, Cleaning, Keeping, etc

EDIT 6: Personally, I shoot for a 1 page resume. I'm too busy to look at 30 2-3 page resumes, so I only scan the first page.

EDIT 7: Your time format changes, it goes from xx/xx to x/xx

EDIT 8: revise this, maybe to something like continuing education at accredited blah blah blah: Transferring to a different College to receive a BA degree.

 

[VictorLazlo]

Don't keep your resume in the "junk" folder.

 

[hawkeye81x]

First, the In-Store Employee should be changed to a title that is more significant sounding like Management Trainee or Assistant Manager if that is the actual case.

Secondly, it is not recommended by most professionals that you list the date of employment first because it tends to reflect that your tenure at a job is more important that what you learned from it.

Third, sample resumes, look at the formatting.
Name should generally be on the top center of the page on it's own line followed by your personal info, address, phone #, etc.

 

[DarkManX]

i used office templates for the format

 

[cchen]

its pretty bad.... you need to fix up (or maybe learn) some grammar, and also think about what you're trying to do with that resume. if you were an employer, would you want to hire someone based on that resume?

 

[MikeyIs4Dcats]

move contact info directly below name.

 

[Feldenak]

Your name should be at the top

Spell checker

Ditch the objective. If you include a good cover letter you don't need a listed objective

Cut it down to 1 page. You don't have enough experience or education to require 2 pages

Change your employment info - Employer on top, come up with better titles for your jobs (In Store Employee sounds awful)

Ditch the MSOffice template and come up with your own design. It's not that difficult

I would change your education section to remove that you are planning to transfer. Just list that you are enrolled for the fall term in a liberal arts curriculum.

 

[DarkManX]

updated http://home.comcast.net/~djrkd/junk/Resume2.doc

 

[MrDudeMan]

one thing is for sure...

keep it to a page unless you have an amazing job history with lots of diversified credentials which must be stated. taking phone orders, making pizzas, blah blah is all useless. that isnt going to get you a good job. if you had not done anything else, then ok, but you have, so i wouldnt be quite so wordy. presentation is everything when you are inquiring about a job. if you come off as wordy, with a bloated resume, we usually pass them on to the trash can. when people write friggin essays and turn in a 4 page resume to us, we dont even open it (well maybe take a peek, but 100% of them are garbage).

just some advice. do what you want of course, but it is much more effective when it is to the point.

edit: speellling

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
good insensitive?

EDIT: Revise your entire objective.

EDIT 2: Change "High School Student" to "General Education"

EDIT 3: Think of a better title than "In Store Emplyoee."

EDIT 4: Cell phones, Satellite Service, Broadband) - No caps for any of these words.

EDIT 5: You need to keep the same voice throughout the resume. IE: Helping, Cleaning, Keeping, etc

EDIT 6: Personally, I shoot for a 1 page resume. I'm too busy to look at 30 2-3 page resumes, so I only scan the first page.

EDIT 7: Your time format changes, it goes from xx/xx to x/xx

EDIT 8: revise this, maybe to something like continuing education at accredited blah blah blah: Transferring to a different College to receive a BA degree.

exactly

 

[DarkManX]

i dunno what u guys are talkin about, im just lookin for a job similar to my radio shack job, commisioned sales, all the lil cell phone booths/shops i've been to ask for a resume includeing all the company cell stores, im not tryin to become an engineer at intel.

 

[slydecix]

Look at some other resumes, find a format/layout you like, and copy it.

And like everyone else said, definitely keep it to 1 page.

 

[Pepsi90919]

· Cold Call Telemarketing· Calling existing cable customers and advertising the benefits of broadband internet · Telling existing analog cable customers the advantages of digital cable

U SUCK

 

[PunDogg]

Don't use a template, also use spell checker, i'll try to find you some links of some good resumes.

Text

Dogg

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: DarkManX
i dunno what u guys are talkin about, im just lookin for a job similar to my radio shack job, commisioned sales, all the lil cell phone booths/shops i've been to ask for a resume includeing all the company cell stores, im not tryin to become an engineer at intel.

who cares what you are applying for? people like you, with that kind of attitude, are not going to impress employers. basically what you are saying is that you dont care to impress whoever is reading it unless it is a top dollar job. it doesnt matter whether you are applying for manager at taco bell or head of R&D at intel...you need to look and act like a professional if you expect to be treated like one.

 

[dullard]

I've been looking at the 2nd resume. My thoughts:
1) Looks unprofessional with the dates scattered all around. Make sure they all line up (for example, all in the same column, or aligned with right side).
2) Click on the bullet text, click "format paragraph", under the "spacing" box change the spacing after the lines from 3 pt to 0 pt. That will put your resume on one page.
3) Languages and skills has a blank bullet. All you have is languages listed. If you don't have skills, then change the heading to the left.
4) Too many capital letters. "Attendance", "Call", and "Telemarketing" all should be in lower case.
5) Be consistant. You have "Making", "Taking", "Training" , and then "Keep" as your verbs. Why don't you use "Keeping"? It'll sound more consistant. There are numberous examples of this throughout.
6) I'm not sure if I like a college section if you haven't even attended it yet. Keep it there if you want them to realize you'll be busy (ie can't work full time during the day), otherwise cut it out.
7) You are looking for a job that requires no education and that will be similar to your current jobs. So why do you emphasis education (by putting it at the top) and deemphasise job experience (by putting it at the bottom)?
8) Could use some "white space" adjustment. Notice all the white space under your main titles (for example under work experience)? Then look at your bullets - they are cramped and often need to go onto a second line. I get bored if I have to read on to a second line. Shrink the white space in your heading column (maybe put the heading on multiple lines) and give yourself more space for your bullets. This would also eliminate the 2 page resume problem.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: dullard
I've been looking at the 2nd resume. My thoughts:
1) Looks unprofessional with the dates scattered all around. Make sure they all line up (for example, all in the same column, or aligned with right side).
2) Click on the bullet text, click "format paragraph", under the "spacing" box change the spacing after the lines from 3 pt to 0 pt. That will put your resume on one page.
3) Languages and skills has a blank bullet. All you have is languages listed. If you don't have skills, then change the heading to the left.
4) Too many capital letters. "Attendance", "Call", and "Telemarketing" all should be in lower case.
5) Be consistant. You have "Making", "Taking", "Training" , and then "Keep" as your verbs. Why don't you use "Keeping"? It'll sound more consistant. There are numberous examples of this throughout.
6) I'm not sure if I like a college section if you haven't even attended it yet. Keep it there if you want them to realize you'll be busy (ie can't work full time during the day), otherwise cut it out.
7) You are looking for a job that requires no education and that will be similar to your current jobs. So why do you emphasis education (by putting it at the top) and deemphasise job experience (by putting it at the bottom)?
8) Could use some "white space" adjustment. Notice all the white space under your main titles (for example under work experience)? Then look at your bullets - they are cramped and often need to go onto a second line. I get bored if I have to read on to a second line. Shrink the white space in your heading column (maybe put the heading on multiple lines) and give yourself more space for your bullets. This would also eliminate the 2 page resume problem.

this whole post was good advice, but the bolded was particularly accurate to what i would change

 

[Gibson486]

do not use a resume builder, do it from scratch. Also, if your 2nd page does't exceed atleast half the page, it is time to cut some stuff out.

edit: B grade point average? Put the actual number down.

 

[DarkManX]

updated

 

[DarkManX]

a few more updates

 

[dullard]

It is looking a bit better. We could nit-pick forever, but I will leave that up to you (I'd personally work on how the bullets flow together - with things I mentioned in my last post - but it probably isn't essential to do that). Two things do stick out though.

1) Interests and activities generally can only harm you on an application. For example: an interest in say FSU football watching won't help get any job in the world, but it'll hurt at any job where the resume reader hates FSU... Replace FSU football with any other activity and the conclusion is the same. I notice you left this blank, just cut it out altogether.

2) I'm curious about the date you started working at Papa Johns. If I were to consider hiring you, I'd realize that you worked at Papa Johns for just 1 month and are already looking for a new job. I don't want to waste time and money training you just to have you leave in 1 month. So that Feb 2004 starting date will really hurt you. If you can hide that date, you'll be better off.

 

[DarkManX]

the reason im leaving papa johns is because its not the field i wanna be workin in, im better of at sales, hopefully the employeers can see that, how can i hide the date otherwise?

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: DarkManX
the reason im leaving papa johns is because its not the field i wanna be workin in, im better of at sales, hopefully the employeers can see that, how can i hide the date otherwise?

The most simple way is to not put the starting date on the resume (you could just put [present] in that resume location). If, on the slim chance that during your interview the person asks you why you left off the date, then you tell him/her just what you posted above.