How would the federal government administer a "Christian test"?

[HomerJS]

Jeb Bush and other Republican presidential candidates have said we need to limit admittance Syria refugees to Christians, no Muslims allowed.
http://www.rawstory.com/2015/11/jeb...d-refugee-status-in-response-to-paris-attack/

My first question how would the government administer a "Christian test"? Do you just ask are you a Christian and if they say yes, let them in? Do we have trials like the witches in Salem?
http://listverse.com/2012/07/27/10-tests-for-guilt-used-at-the-salem-witch-trials/

Sprinkle them with holy water and see if they burn?

So how do we do these tests?

 

[OverVolt]

Separation of church and state derp.

 

[yllus]

Please tell me an actual legitimate candidate for the presidency of the United States did not actually say that.

Edit: Looks like he didn't actually say that, thank holy Vishnu:

“There are a lot of Christians in Syria that have no place now,” he explained. “They’ll be either executed or imprisoned, either by Assad or by ISIS. And I think we should have — we should focus our efforts as it relates to the Christians that are being slaughtered.”

That's hardly the same thing as you claimed.

 

[Indus]

Just mindless pandering to their base.

 

[IronWing]

Give them a math test. I have five loaves and two fish...

 

[DrPizza]

Unconstitutionally.

 

[OverVolt]

Unconstitutionally.

lol this guy gets it.

 

[Newell Steamer]

Easy!

If the person does the following, they are Christian;
- respect life, but be perfectly OK with the death penalty
- demand marriage is sacred, but marry, cheat, divorce and repeat
- claim to follow the teaching of Jesus, but do one thing he never taught: bash homosexuals
- lie... everything from what the Bible's message is to being attacked by Muslims
- disobey the law
- when someone refuses to believe in what you believe, claim that you are being oppressed
- when someone doesn't allow you to oppress someone, claim that you are being oppressed by not being allowed to oppress
- molest someone in your family
- censor sexual content
- prevent women from getting an abortion, even if they got pregnant from being raped
- be able to identify grain storage structures, like the pyramids

 

[OverVolt]

Easy!

If the person does the following, they are Christian;
- respect life, but be perfectly OK with the death penalty
- demand marriage is sacred, but marry, cheat, divorce and repeat
- claim to follow the teaching of Jesus, but do one thing he never taught: bash homosexuals
- lie... everything from what the Bible's message is to being attacked by Muslims
- disobey the law
- when someone refuses to believe in what you believe, claim that you are being oppressed
- when someone doesn't allow you to oppress someone, claim that you are being oppressed by not being allowed to oppress
- molest someone in your family
- censor sexual content
- prevent women from getting an abortion, even if they got pregnant from being raped
- be able to identify grain storage structures, like the pyramids

Oh Lordy.




You have no idea how much I lol'd typing that.

 

[HomerJS]

Easy!

If the person does the following, they are Christian;
- respect life, but be perfectly OK with the death penalty
- demand marriage is sacred, but marry, cheat, divorce and repeat
- claim to follow the teaching of Jesus, but do one thing he never taught: bash homosexuals
- lie... everything from what the Bible's message is to being attacked by Muslims
- disobey the law
- when someone refuses to believe in what you believe, claim that you are being oppressed
- when someone doesn't allow you to oppress someone, claim that you are being oppressed by not being allowed to oppress
- molest someone in your family
- censor sexual content
- prevent women from getting an abortion, even if they got pregnant from being raped
- be able to identify grain storage structures, like the pyramids

Don't forget outlaw the pill

 

[BoberFett]

How stupid.

We should be strictly limiting immigration for people of all religions, races, and national origins.

 

[IronWing]

Simple test: homoiousia or homoousia, pick one. Choose wisely.

Prior to administering the test, remind the refugees that an incorrect answer was traditionally met with a very ISIS like response from the proctor.

 

[Newell Steamer]

Don't forget outlaw the pill

Or, more precisely; confusing contraception with abortion.

 

[IronWing]

Or, more precisely; confusing contraception with abortion.

Ensoulment occurs at the moment of lustful thinking.


This is how limbo sticks got their name.

 

[senseamp]

How would Bush family toss the Saudi royal family's salad if there was a Christian test for coming to America?

 

[brycejones]

Unconstitutionally.

All that needs to be said.

 

[sportage]

Hmmm. ....
Maybe their weight against that of a duck?
Or repeatedly dunking in water?
Cross on the forehead?
Holy water?
Caught with 14 year old boy in an airport bathroom stall (only applies to Christian republican men).
Any one of those should do it.

 

[Orignal Earl]

What if Jeb got the Muslims to convert, or pay some kind of extra tax?

 

[dank69]

Easy!

If the person does the following, they are Christian;
- respect life, but be perfectly OK with the death penalty
- demand marriage is sacred, but marry, cheat, divorce and repeat
- claim to follow the teaching of Jesus, but do one thing he never taught: bash homosexuals
- lie... everything from what the Bible's message is to being attacked by Muslims
- disobey the law
- when someone refuses to believe in what you believe, claim that you are being oppressed
- when someone doesn't allow you to oppress someone, claim that you are being oppressed by not being allowed to oppress
- molest someone in your family
- censor sexual content
- prevent women from getting an abortion, even if they got pregnant from being raped
- be able to identify grain storage structures, like the pyramids

- correctly identify which dinosaur Jesus rode into battle

 

[Newell Steamer]

- correctly identify which dinosaur Jesus rode into battle

And believe that the Earth is only 2,000 years old. Because the science that states otherwise, is a lie... for reasons.

 

[soundforbjt]

Offer them a ham sandwich?

 

[PokerGuy]

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that what OP claims Jeb and other republicans said is not actually what they said. So the entire premise of the thread is a lie, and then devolves into further stupidity from there.

 

[dank69]

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that what OP claims Jeb and other republicans said is not actually what they said. So the entire premise of the thread is a lie, and then devolves into further stupidity from there.

:hmm:

Tapper wondered how screeners would know which refugees were Christians.

“We do that all the time,” Bush insisted.

From a quick google:
http://nation.foxnews.com/2015/11/1...sands-syrian-refugees-u-s-nothing-less-lunacy

 

[OutHouse]

Jeb Bush and other Republican presidential candidates have said we need to limit admittance Syria refugees to Christians, no Muslims allowed.

please put up a link of Jeb saying only christians and no muslims.

your thread is intentionally misleading and false.

 

[MomentsofSanity]

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that what OP claims Jeb and other republicans said is not actually what they said. So the entire premise of the thread is a lie, and then devolves into further stupidity from there.

Jeb Bush

"We should focus our efforts as it relates to the refugees for the Christians that are being slaughtered.”

Ted Cruz

“There is no meaningful risk of Christians committing acts of terror,” he said. “If there were a group of radical Christians pledging to murder anyone who had a different religious view than they, we would have a different national security situation.”

So how do you propose they only focus on Christian refugees without some kind of "religious test"?