How will you punish your child?

[Desturel]

My mom, dad, grandfather, grandmother, and anyone else who had a free hand/belt/spoon/whatever at the time spanked me when I was younger. It was encouraged. I probably won't do it myself though. I've had to deal with kids for a while now (my sister's children) and I've learned new and interesting ways of child torture that don't involve physical violence. Oh yes, I'm a mean uncle The kids fear me.

 

[ed21x]

<<

<< How come there has to be so many ignorant, embittered old men out there. Understand that there are methods outside of violence that can get your message across equally effectively. My mom was able to do it using her mind rather some paddle like you. I would honestly hate to be your kid and feel much sympathy for him/her. >>



Do you have kids? No? Then know your role and shut your hole. >>



hey, i'm sorry if i've insulted you, but i'm just trying to point out that I love my parents for the gentle way they've treated me, and even without the violence, i've turned out ok... so an alternative IS possible.

 

[Wallydraigle]

<< nah, i treasure the relationship between me and my parents. as a product of their upbringing, i will have accomplished more than you and your kids ever will. I doubt your kids will ever say say that about you. >>



Okay, maybe I'll give your way a shot so my kids can grow up to be condescending, arrogant, know-it-all busy bodies.

 

[Wallydraigle]

<< How come there has to be so many ignorant, embittered old men out there. Understand that there are methods outside of violence that can get your message across equally effectively. My mom was able to do it using her mind rather some paddle like you. I would honestly hate to be your kid and feel much sympathy for him/her. >>



You call someone you don't know an ignorant, embittered old man, yet you cry foul when I tell you to know your role? Yeah, I want my kid to turn out to be a big crybaby like you.

 

[Platypus]

I was pretty much thrown around a lot as a kid, I don't want to talk about it further than that.

I am never going ot have kids, so I guess I won't have to worry about how I would punish them eh?

 

[Ns1]

i would never EVER EVER EVER hit my kid

EVER







but i'd shake the sh!t outta him!!!


nah but forreal, spankings are okay, i turned out fine

i don't think grouding/timeouts and crap like htat are effective enough, although my psych teachers beg to differ

 

[ed21x]

<<

<< How come there has to be so many ignorant, embittered old men out there. Understand that there are methods outside of violence that can get your message across equally effectively. My mom was able to do it using her mind rather some paddle like you. I would honestly hate to be your kid and feel much sympathy for him/her. >>



You call someone you don't know an ignorant, embittered old man, yet you cry foul when I tell you to know your role? Yeah, I want my kid to turn out to be a big crybaby like you. >>



i'm sorry i insulted you, but please don't call me a Crybaby. umm... i guess what I'm trying to get at is that my parents never hit me, and I would still listen to them, and I think i turned out alright, so perhaps being a little gentler won't do too much harm.

 

[Squisher]

<< Oh good, another thread where the children and the childless on ATOT try to tell the parents of ATOT how to do their child-rearing. This is always good for plenty of laughs as the ignorant come out of the woodwork and start to blather. BTW on the infrequent occasions when I think they need it, I spank my children and I don't care what you think about it. >>

 

[StageLeft]

With electricity. A lot of it.

 

[Ornery]

Montessori explained: How it began, Why it works

• Montessorians try to teach with kindness, using the positive incentives of pride in achievement, craftsmanship for a job well done. They avoid any approach which uses carrot or stick, punishment or prize, blackmail or bribery. Maria Montessori discovered that children are well aware of the value of their achievements, and can see through lavish praise, particularly when a mistake is obvious. Like any intelligent people children wish to learn from their mistakes, to do it better next time, and so need objective assessment of what went wrong.
  
  Because punishment usually humiliates, and most often causes a child to stop trying rather than to try to improve, it does not feature in a Montessori nursery. A child needs constructive help with errors and sympathetic assistance if there is an accident. Punishment rarely takes him further. When a grown-up spills a cup of coffee people are solicitous and helpful; if a child spills milk he is accused of carelessness, in spite of the fact that he has had less practice with drinks. In Montessori classrooms adults are sympathetic because they realise such mistakes are unintentional, and they respond by showing the child how to clear up the spilled milk, so he knows what to do next time...

 

[StageLeft]

BTW in almost all cases you don't need to spank your kid. Patience is a virtue. But I defy anybody to tell me how, on a road trip, if your 4 year old is in the back kicking your seat screaming, bitching, etc. etc. you can do anything but spank him?

 

[Shaftatplanetquake]

Parents are important enough to any child for them to obey, listen, and respect them- in the event that the respect is shared, love is provided, and you actually listen to your own children.

A child will listen to what his/her parents have to say whether punishment is through physical attacks or other means. In order to teach a lesson that cannot be conveyed through simple words, I recomend taking a privilege away or grounding- but not for a very long amount of time. Oftentimes, a simple, "I am very, very disapointed in you." goes a very long way, probably further than most realize.

I personally feel the majority of the time, someone who feels the need to physically thrash their child is actually getting out their own aggressions rather than teaching a lesson to a child.

I also think that by hitting a child, you teach them that manhandling someone is an effective (and acceptable, after all, said parents did it) means by which you can force someone to do your bidding.

It is barbaric, simple-minded, and disgusting.

If you feel the need to kick someone's ass because you are frustrated at your child's actions, take up kickboxing.

 

[Ornery]

"...on a road trip, if your 4 year old is in the back kicking your seat screaming, bitching, etc. etc. you can do anything but spank him?"

What's the "road trip" for? Family vacation? A "Wally World" adventure? Not much sympathy on your part if you can't understand your child's qualms with a "road trip". Didn't your parents ever subject you to the same torture? How can you not empathize with your kid?

 

[her209]

I going to make them read ATOT everytime they do something wrong...

I know, I know, its cruel... cest la vie

 

[IJump]

I spank only for things that need swift, immediate punishment. I ground my 9 year old for most things that he would need punished for. I don't punish my daughter (17 months) any more than saying no or smacking her hand at this point.......

 

[LordMaul]

I'll take away every last fvcking Star Wars toy, and give them 10 lashes with a plastic lightsaber across the legs each time they mouth off!

 

[Ladies Man]

Hey! My parents used to beat the living sh!t out of me! Ok? And looking back on it, I'm glad they did! And I'm looking forward to beating the sh!t out of my kids, aren't you? For no reason whatsoever. *thbbt* "What'd you hit me for?" "Shutup and get out there and mow the lawn for Christs sake!" There's therapy for ya! Mowing the lawn and crying at the same time. "The Leary kids in therapy again. Their lawn looks great, it's unbelieveable!"

 

[bugsysiegel]

The opposite way the parents of the idiot columbine losers disciplined their little nut-cases.

 

[Fireball77]

You start with spankings, after thoes dont affect them anymore, you move to something that stings....i.e., a wooden spoon, they get that a few times, and the next time they act up, you tell them you are getting the spoon if they dont start, and they straighten up real quick, if that doesnt work, get the spoon and show them, you get instant tears. I usually give my kids two verbal warnings before I start to get real mad at them. After two warnings, batter up.
I grew up getting spanked with a leather strap, Fly swatter, I think spankings do the job.

 

[yakko]

I will see when I hav children.

 

[gopunk]

i will use effective non-violent punishment. sorry, i don't go in for hitting small children.

 

[b0mbrman]

Hmm...I think I'll be pretty strict to the point where I don't need to punish them...just that they understand that they do what I say because it's the good thing to do

 

[Pundit]

If you are able, put yourself in your child's shoes. Watch every little thing that happens to him/her. You will realize that if he/she does something that you think is "bad", it is because you have caused it somehow. It is not apparent, but it is there. If anyone cares for an example, please ask. Otherwise ignore this post.

 

[her209]

<< If you are able, put yourself in your child's shoes. Watch every little thing that happens to him/her. You will realize that if he/she does something that you think is "bad", it is because you have caused it somehow. It is not apparent, but it is there. If anyone cares for an example, please ask. Otherwise ignore this post. >>



Not always true... they could have learned it at school...



<< i will use effective non-violent punishment. sorry, i don't go in for hitting small children. >>



Children have to realize that there are consequences for doing bad things. I don't believe in the, if they do something wrong, its your fault b.s. Especially when you tell them not to do, but they still do it anyways, because they want to.

 

[Pundit]

<<

<< If you are able, put yourself in your child's shoes. Watch every little thing that happens to him/her. You will realize that if he/she does something that you think is "bad", it is because you have caused it somehow. It is not apparent, but it is there. If anyone cares for an example, please ask. Otherwise ignore this post. >>



Not always true... they could have learned it at school...



<< i will use effective non-violent punishment. sorry, i don't go in for hitting small children. >>



Children have to realize that there are consequences for doing bad things. I don't believe in the, if they do something wrong, its your fault b.s. Especially when you tell them not to do, but they still do it anyways, because they want to. >>


Try a simple experiment: give the child something insignificant to play with, like a water bottle or something. Then try taking it away from him/her. They will immediately start to feel indignation. The reason? Once something has been given to them, it becomes their property (just like you would get a Christmas/Birthday present). Have you ever had someone give you a present and then had it taken back? Or was told what to do with it and how to play with it? Do that enough times to a child and they will resent you. And they will "misbehave". They will break/damage their toys. They will spill things. They will cause you grief. And then you wonder why and decide that they need "discipline". Go ahead and beat your children, but don't be surprised if they have violent tendencies when they grow up.

As I said, put yourself in their shoes. Do you like your rights being infringed upon? I know I wouldn't.