How to speak Texan!

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Texas Vocabulary

1. AS WELCOME AS A SKUNK AT A LAWN PARTY.
Self-explanatory

2. TIGHTER THAN BARK ON A TREE.
Not very generous

3. BIG HAT, NO CATTLE.
All talk and no action

4. WE'VE HOWDIED BUT WE AIN'T SHOOK YET.
We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.

5. HE THINKS THE SUN CAME UP JUST TO HEAR HIM CROW.
He has a pretty high opinion of himself.

6. IT'S SO DRY THE TREES ARE BRIBIN' THE DOGS.
We really could use a little rain around here.

7. JUST BECAUSE A CHICKEN HAS WINGS DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN FLY.
Appearances can be deceptive.

8. THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO.
I've been around awhile.

9. HE LOOKS LIKE THE DOG'S BEEN KEEPIN' HIM UNDER THE PORCH.
Not the most handsome of men.

10. THEY ATE SUPPER BEFORE THEY SAID GRACE.
Living in sin.

11. TIME TO PAINT YOUR BUTT WHITE AND RUN WITH THE ANTELOPE.
Stop arguing and do as you're told.

12. AS FULL OF WIND AS A CORN-EATING HORSE.
Rather prone to boasting.

13. YOU CAN PUT YOUR BOOTS IN THE OVEN BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM BISCUITS.
You can say whatever you want about something, but doesn't change what it is.

14. WE'RE IN TALL COTTON.
Things are going well

~~~~~~~~I HOPE EVERYONE IS IN "TALL COTTON"~~~~~
 

Babbles

Diamond Member
Jan 4, 2001
8,253
14
81
Howdy folks.

As a Texan I would like to take a moment to point out that I don't reckon I ain't heard none of 'em before.
 

Triumph

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
15,031
14
81
Texans like to say "might could." As in, "Yeah, we might could arrange something like that."
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,528
3
76
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Angrymarshmello
Dude, your jokes suck :p

Where in the post does it say this is a JOKE?


People down that'a way actually say this stuff! :Q

He's right; they do! I should know. :D Mostly the "countrified folk" still talk that way. But you'll hear a lot of "citified" Texans saying stuff like that in the middle of a meeting or something.
 

WinkOsmosis

Banned
Sep 18, 2002
13,990
1
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I live in Texas. The only person I've heard say stuff like that is the lawyer in The Life of David Gale.