How to say "no"?

[Schadenfreude]

Alright, basic idea: There's this dude I know, let's call him "Bob". Now he's a nice, if not a bit conceited guy.

Anyhoo, he's a "work friend" but everytime I talk to him, I get this weird "I'm-gay-and-I'm-hitting-on-you" vibe. The clothes he wears and the way he talks is a bit . . . but he has a fiancee (and I met her).

I'm not the only one that thinks he bats for the "other team" - in fact, my roommate also thinks that way too (he also works with me).

Anyhoo, he's very nice, and understanding that both of us (me and roommate) are students, he gives us stuff, and often invites me to his place with his fiancee (I always decline).

Anyhoo, tonight, he wants to go out with us to the bars - his fiancee is not there, and he's coming down, and well, I know I'm going to be completely uncomfortable around just me and him (+ his friend). I tried to come up with excuses, but he wouldn't take no for an answer . . .. He's cool and all, but still, I just don't enjoy that *gay vibe* arond him . . . but I'm not sure if he's gay (well, I AM sure, but I'm not sure if *he's* sure) and how it would affect the workplace if I just ditched him/ignore him.

Any advice?

Quick summary
-Dude I know from work
-Complete gay vibe, complete with lisp and wardrobe
-Hits on me(?)
-But not sure if he's really gay?
-WTH am I supposed to do?

 

[eakers]

get over yourself. if he was trying to get you in the sack he wouldn't have told you he has a fiance.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: eakers
get over yourself. if he was trying to get you in the sack he wouldn't have told you he has a fiance.

I hope to dear god that you're right. But the thing is, I've never seen him with his fiancee 'cept once, even in other social gatherings . . ..

If I go there tonight and his friend "happened" to ditch us, I'm soo outta there.

 

[CT2TXtech]

are you a jehovahs witness

 

[Wallydraigle]

Wow. Just wow.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: lirion
Wow. Just wow.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: CT2TXtech
are you a jehovahs witness

is that a question?

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: eakers
get over yourself. if he was trying to get you in the sack he wouldn't have told you he has a fiance.

I hope to dear god that you're right. But the thing is, I've never seen him with his fiancee 'cept once, even in other social gatherings . . ..

If I go there tonight and his friend "happened" to ditch us, I'm soo outta there.

at least you get to go out. i have to stay in and read tomas kuhn's the structure of scientific revolultions[/i]



((waaaah look at me read))

 

[Broohaha]

here's some advice: stop saying anyhoo. that's very gay.

---

Here's some advice: stop saying "gay" as a gratuitous, loose negative term. That's very thoughtlessly mean spirited and rude to our members.

AnandTech Moderator

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: eakers
get over yourself. if he was trying to get you in the sack he wouldn't have told you he has a fiance.

I hope to dear god that you're right. But the thing is, I've never seen him with his fiancee 'cept once, even in other social gatherings . . ..

If I go there tonight and his friend "happened" to ditch us, I'm soo outta there.

at least you get to go out. i have to stay in and read tomas kuhn's the structure of scientific revolultions[/i]



((waaaah look at me read))

Hmm, I AM significantly behind one reading about Mill's Utilitarianism and James' Pragmatism . . .. Nah, it woulnd't work - he knows I goof around on schoolwork . . . FVCK I dont' want to go out tonight . . .

 

[CT2TXtech]

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: CT2TXtech
are you a jehovahs witness

is that a question?

yes is it.

that one was a statement

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: Broohaha
here's some advice: stop saying anyhoo. that's very gay.

Anyhoo, I'm not gay. And I don't give out this weird "gay vibe" in real life, at least. I give more of a "uber-dork/anti-female" vibe.

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: eakers
get over yourself. if he was trying to get you in the sack he wouldn't have told you he has a fiance.

I hope to dear god that you're right. But the thing is, I've never seen him with his fiancee 'cept once, even in other social gatherings . . ..

If I go there tonight and his friend "happened" to ditch us, I'm soo outta there.

at least you get to go out. i have to stay in and read tomas kuhn's the structure of scientific revolultions[/i]



((waaaah look at me read))

Hmm, I AM significantly behind one reading about Mill's Utilitarianism and James' Pragmatism . . .. Nah, it woulnd't work - he knows I goof around on schoolwork . . . FVCK I dont' want to go out tonight . . .

i'm a mathie and i thought it would be "fun" and "interesting" to take a course about the philosophy of science.

i was so wrong!

reading stuff and then writting about it sucks. i'd rather read something and then solve some problems.

 

[Kalvin00]

Originally posted by: Broohaha
here's some advice: stop saying anyhoo. that's very gay.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: CT2TXtech

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: CT2TXtech
are you a jehovahs witness

is that a question?

yes is it.

that one was a statement

Yes is it . . .well, anyhoo, no, I'm not a jehovah's witness. I just like to be sacreligious.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: Kalvin00

Originally posted by: Broohaha
here's some advice: stop saying anyhoo. that's very gay.

Jus' checked the frist post, and damn, I do say 'anyhoo' a lot!

anyhoo . . .

Kust kidding.

 

[CT2TXtech]

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: CT2TXtech

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: CT2TXtech
are you a jehovahs witness

is that a question?

yes is it.

that one was a statement

Yes is it . . .well, anyhoo, no, I'm not a jehovah's witness. I just like to be sacreligious.

ohh, im telling my mother

shes a J DUbb, thats what i call them

:beer:

 

[Schadenfreude]

Yeah - I have 1 1/2 hour to think of something . . . he's been telling me for weeks, and I said "maybe" - my roommate just "happened" to have to go to Indianapolis - lucky somabitch - but I'm still stuck here . . .

I should soo get a chick so he'd stop pestering me.

 

[ndee]

talk about homophob

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: ndee
talk about homophob

Dude, I'm alright with gay dudes - I could very well have driven this dude out from work if I wanted - I could give a rat's ass if he's a flaming homosexual - just don't get me involved (in that manner)!

How the hell would you like it if some chick you were not at all attracted to at work kept on hitting on you in ambiguous ways? Then are you a sexist pig?

Essentially, I don't swing that way, and I don't care if others do it, as long as it doesn't interefere with my plans - and it makes me uncomfortable. If that's being a homophobe in your definition, then you're a "dumb$hit" by my definition.

 

[PanzerIV]

If you want to get this guy out of your hair and see if he makes any moves on you (lol) go out with him and his friend and get a feel (no pun intended) for the situation. If, as you feared, his friend mysteriously has to ditch act like you are making a phone call and when you come back tell him you have to go. Make up some excuse about family or whatever but that will give you an out and hopefully not offend him since you are stuck working with him every day.

If you want this guy to stop bugging you, you are going to have to either keep lying every time he asks you to do something which will get harder and harder to avoid or find out once and for all if he has the hots for you!

 

[Yossarian]

are you afraid that, left alone with this guy, your latent homosexual tendencies will reveal themselves in all their full fruity glory?

you know how women automatically know before you go out on a date whether you're gonna get any that night? same situation here. I don't think any of your orifices will be invaded if you go to some bars with this dude.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: eakers
get over yourself. if he was trying to get you in the sack he wouldn't have told you he has a fiance.

I hope to dear god that you're right. But the thing is, I've never seen him with his fiancee 'cept once, even in other social gatherings . . ..

If I go there tonight and his friend "happened" to ditch us, I'm soo outta there.

at least you get to go out. i have to stay in and read tomas kuhn's the structure of scientific revolultions[/i]



((waaaah look at me read))

Hmm, I AM significantly behind one reading about Mill's Utilitarianism and James' Pragmatism . . .. Nah, it woulnd't work - he knows I goof around on schoolwork . . . FVCK I dont' want to go out tonight . . .

i'm a mathie and i thought it would be "fun" and "interesting" to take a course about the philosophy of science.

i was so wrong!

reading stuff and then writting about it sucks. i'd rather read something and then solve some problems.

Another proof that philsophy kicks ass, literally! Well, Philosophy of Science is prolly a bit advanced for beginners (no offense), and I'm guessing it's more of a "survey course", which is a looooot more cut & dry then applied courses . . ..

But to completely understand the theories and its complete implications as it is applied to real-life scenarios is a bit hard, since there's always exceptions upon exceptions upon . . . well you get the picture.

Just be thankful you're not taking a philsophy of language course. That somabish is a pain in the ass!

 

[Ciber]

Refer to my Sig.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: Ciber
Refer to my Sig.

Hey now, I've had numerous discussions with my roommate about this. This has been going on for a loong time (at least 6 months). We've been dodging it, but he constantly calls us and $hit . . ..