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How to protect my little sister from beaus.
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You really have very little control over other people, especially simply by telling them things. The way you treat girls/women will have a more powerful influence, particularly in how she views the "normal" way men treat women. I certainly did not "protect" my sister from men. I never got the idea she was nieve or vulnerable, so I did not treat her as if she was. Another thing you have to realize, you sister will hopefully have a rich and active sex life one day. That is the ideal for all 4 billion women and men on the planet - your, my, and everyone's family members included. The women you have greta sex with enjoy it, where did the idea come from that your sister is or should be any different. One day, ideally she and the partner of her choosing will have wild passionate sex, and she will like it.
TweakMM: About 5 girls. Now a question for you. Why?
TommyVercetti: I need to do a lot more coke.
jumpr: You're no fun. What if she does become a lesbian? Would it be wrong to tag along on dates just for fun?
Guns and Maglites are sounding like the best ideas. Also, my younger brother (older than my sister) can join in, and I'm sure my dad won't just roll over too. At this rate, she'll be forced into chastity until she's 40.
TommyVercetti: I need to do a lot more coke.
jumpr: You're no fun. What if she does become a lesbian? Would it be wrong to tag along on dates just for fun?
Guns and Maglites are sounding like the best ideas. Also, my younger brother (older than my sister) can join in, and I'm sure my dad won't just roll over too. At this rate, she'll be forced into chastity until she's 40.
Although I've never been a young girl and don't really have any intentions of being one any time soon, I can imagine that I would be pretty pissed if my brother tried to ruin my relationships with other people. I would be a lot more upset however, if my brother tried to ruin my relationships because he didn't have any of his own and given that this is Anandtech...well, I think you get where I'm going with this.
TommyVercetti
Diamond Member
Advice your family to become part of some wierd cult where arranged marriages are the norm. All problems solved.
You can't, you can only empower her with the correct information so she uses good judgment.
Sit her down, and inform her that all men are pathological liars. Its not really their fault, its this raging testosterone thing between the age of 15 ~ 50. Ok, well, maybe between 15 ~ 25, then around 26 men should start to get a handle on this overwhelming biological urge to tell women whatever fantastical things he thinks she wants to hear in order to get her in the sack. "Should" being the operative word here. 😕
I say this based on the number of young women I've seen duped, crying over a boy, sobbing "But...but...he said he loved me!" with a most profound expression of bewilderment.
Yes, well, if he would have told you he was Jesus Christ, would you have believed that, too?
So tell her, if she decides to give up the goods, she does so fully informed that the odds are fair-to-good that he will be saying "I love you" to a different girl next month.
i used to date a girl whose dad was just like you. he would always show me his guns, etc. honestly, i was never impressed nor intimidated. if the guy dating your sister has any brains at all, he will simply do what i did: call your bluff. i seriously doubt that you're willing to spend a good deal of time in prison just because i'm doing something consensual (and normal for people of my age) with your sister/daughter. in summation, don't waste everyone's time with ridiculous threats/scare tactics.
now, if you really are concerned about this, and this thread isnt just an attempt to prove to everyone how macho you are, the logical course of action would be to discuss your concerns with your sister's boyfriends in a calm and polite manner, man-to-man. perhaps tell them that you expect your sister to be treated like the lady that she is, and i don't think its unreasonable or unfair to set a curfew time considering her age. be clear about what you expect, but always respectful. again, if the kid has any brains, he will understand where you are coming from, and appreciate you treating him as a man and an adult.
now, all that being said, i would not be as concerned about this as you (possibly because i dont have a little sister). what i would do is have a serious talk with my sister about how she should expect to be treated by young men. i would let her know that she is obligated to do NOTHING against her will, that she is to be treated with respect at all times, and i would make it abundantly clear that she could come to me with ANY problem. i would then return to the sidelines unless she came to me with an issue or i witnessed some disrespect towards her with her own eyes.
now, if you really are concerned about this, and this thread isnt just an attempt to prove to everyone how macho you are, the logical course of action would be to discuss your concerns with your sister's boyfriends in a calm and polite manner, man-to-man. perhaps tell them that you expect your sister to be treated like the lady that she is, and i don't think its unreasonable or unfair to set a curfew time considering her age. be clear about what you expect, but always respectful. again, if the kid has any brains, he will understand where you are coming from, and appreciate you treating him as a man and an adult.
now, all that being said, i would not be as concerned about this as you (possibly because i dont have a little sister). what i would do is have a serious talk with my sister about how she should expect to be treated by young men. i would let her know that she is obligated to do NOTHING against her will, that she is to be treated with respect at all times, and i would make it abundantly clear that she could come to me with ANY problem. i would then return to the sidelines unless she came to me with an issue or i witnessed some disrespect towards her with her own eyes.
DerwenArtos12
Diamond Member
just tell her that you will support whatever she wants to do and that you will always look out for her. Don't forget to tell her that if she has a problem that it is ok to tell you and you will help if you can. Then when you meet her Beaus make it abundantly clear that if they hurt her you will kill them. Torture and kill them!
so sweet...I always wanted to an older brother.
But don't trample on her space too much. I am dealing with my younger brother right now (who is 15), and he is dating someone whose intentions I cannot quite decipher. If she hurts him I will probably rip her to shreds but for the moment I am letting him use his own judgement. The fact that she is two states away makes my work easier (as long as there is no physical hanky panky..I don't care). But I figure he has to learn on his own, even if that means he will get hurt.
I do advise you to keep your communication open with your sister; because as a girl that is what I would want from an older brother. My bro and I are really close. He tells about everything (maybe even a little too much at times..thats okay) and it is better that way because you can advice them better than when they hide stuff from you.
Also, if you ever had any experience with asian parents or conservative parents; it can be insane growing up in this society for us. So he really doesn't go to our parents for any advice, leaving us older siblings for all the wisdom that we have accumulated in the couple of extra years were alive.
Anyways...you sound like an awesome big bro. Be there for her so she will come to you.
But don't trample on her space too much. I am dealing with my younger brother right now (who is 15), and he is dating someone whose intentions I cannot quite decipher. If she hurts him I will probably rip her to shreds but for the moment I am letting him use his own judgement. The fact that she is two states away makes my work easier (as long as there is no physical hanky panky..I don't care). But I figure he has to learn on his own, even if that means he will get hurt.
I do advise you to keep your communication open with your sister; because as a girl that is what I would want from an older brother. My bro and I are really close. He tells about everything (maybe even a little too much at times..thats okay) and it is better that way because you can advice them better than when they hide stuff from you.
Also, if you ever had any experience with asian parents or conservative parents; it can be insane growing up in this society for us. So he really doesn't go to our parents for any advice, leaving us older siblings for all the wisdom that we have accumulated in the couple of extra years were alive.
Anyways...you sound like an awesome big bro. Be there for her so she will come to you.
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