How to handle a bad christmas present from the S.O.

[DougK62]

PLEASE tell him about this. If you are sweet about it he won't have a problem with you two going and exchanging it for something else. He'd want you to have something that you like to wear.

And after you exchange it I'd like to suggest a BJ in the car.

 

[Modeps]

"It's the thought that counts."

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: Lola
praise him for getting you soemthing so nice, but also tell him the truth that you think its beautiful and such a thoughtful gift, but its just not your style. (in a very nice way!)
could you suggest exchanging it together so you can both decide on the item?

Wow, you sound like your training a dog... wow.

 

[A5]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft

Originally posted by: Lola

Originally posted by: lilFajita
I understand...it just seems like its the first time he has gone out on a limb, and if I exchange it, he will be "gun shy", so to speak....you know what I mean? It sucks, because i love being surprised, and I feel like if I tell him, he will never try to surprise me again....

the only other thing i can think of, if you are sure he will react in that way is wear it occasionally and tell him its too nice to wear all the time, or you are afraid you are going to lose it. then, when you are together shopping, etc, show him things that you like so he will have an idea next time?!

This is the best answer.
Would it kill you to wear it from time to time, say at dinners with him and his folks or something like that ?
I swear women are so damn selfish in this manner. Given that you will buy him shirts, after shave, etc. that he doesn't like, yet sucks it up and wears ANYWAY, to please YOUisn't it a balancing thing we're talking about here? You will hurt his feelings if you return it , no matter what. Then we'll be reading about you crying because he only gets you gift certfifcates.
You should give better hints as to what you like and not expect mind reading. Mind reading is something that only comes with a double X chromosome pair. :roll:

Winner. If you don't like it, DON'T TELL HIM. You will hurt his feelings.

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: lilFajita
Just wanted to get your thoughts-

I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years, and he just bought me jewelry for the first time. Its kind of a big deal, because when we first met, he wa going through a tough time financially and so he is finally on his feet. So, he bought me a white gold bracelet with tiny diamonds.

First off, I never wear bracelets, only a watch. Second, its really not my style at all- it has a chain link motif that I think looks kind of cheesy.

The thing is, I feel bad telling him I don't like it, because its the first time he has gotten me something kind of romantic and all on his own (no hints, etc.). But I'd be forcing myself to wear it.

Would I be too harsh to tell him I want to exhange it? I want him to have confidence to pick gifts and things for me in the future, but its really not me... I was wondering if it would be a big blow to his confidence.

When someone gives a me gift, I say thank you and show appreication by periodically using\wearing it. I avoid people who critcize presents.

 

[sniperruff]

if im your boyfriend i'd appreciate your honesty by telling me that you don't like it. if he gets pissed off, then it's his fault.

i'd tell him.

 

[Fritzo]

It's important to handle it was tact and grace. Do the following:

1) Stand up slowly, look at the gift, then look at him, and yell "WHAT THE F*** IS THIS LAME PIECE OF SH**????!!!!

2) Start comparing his gift to the other better gifts you've had from other men.

Problem solved!

 

[orakle]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
It's important to handle it was tact and grace. Do the following:

1) Stand up slowly, look at the gift, then look at him, and yell "WHAT THE F*** IS THIS LAME PIECE OF SH**????!!!!

2) Start comparing his gift to the other better gifts you've had from other men.

Problem solved!

thread over

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: preslove

Originally posted by: Lola
praise him for getting you soemthing so nice, but also tell him the truth that you think its beautiful and such a thoughtful gift, but its just not your style. (in a very nice way!)
could you suggest exchanging it together so you can both decide on the item?

Wow, you sound like your training a dog... wow.

are you kidding? a dog? i dont think so. its called postive reinforcement. in this situation, there is nothing else you can do besides reinforce what a nice, THOUGHTFUL gift it was. just because i said "praise" him...
i especially said this because the OP was worried he would become gun shy next time. its ok to tell the truth, but make sure that you truly do appericate the thought and time that went into buying the gift.

There ARE women out there that are not out to get "something" from a realtionship, nor do we want to train a man.

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: Lola

Originally posted by: preslove

Originally posted by: Lola
praise him for getting you soemthing so nice, but also tell him the truth that you think its beautiful and such a thoughtful gift, but its just not your style. (in a very nice way!)
could you suggest exchanging it together so you can both decide on the item?

Wow, you sound like your training a dog... wow.

are you kidding? a dog? i dont think so. its called postive reinforcement. in this situation, there is nothing else you can do besides reinforce what a nice, THOUGHTFUL gift it was. just because i said "praise" him...
i especially said this because the OP was worried he would become gun shy next time. its ok to tell the truth, but make sure that you truly do appericate the thought and time that went into buying the gift.

There ARE women out there that are not out to get "something" from a realtionship, nor do we want to train a man.

I was just joshing you. "praise him for getting you..." just sounded like you were talking about a dog

 

[dderidex]

Originally posted by: Lola
praise him for getting you soemthing so nice, but also tell him the truth that you think its beautiful and such a thoughtful gift, but its just not your style. (in a very nice way!)
could you suggest exchanging it together so you can both decide on the item?

This is the best idea.

IMPORTANT NOTE: He bought you jewelry, find another piece of jewelry you'd be willing to wear to exchange it for. Don't think (I don't know if you would, just saying) "I'm not really a fan of jewelry, why don't we return it and buy something more practical."

THAT is a big no-no and would be a slap in the face to him.

Exchanging it, WITH HIM, so you can both pick out the new piece TOGETHER is a good idea. However, it really must be new jewelry since that's what he wants to get for you (whether you are entirely sold on the practicality of the idea or not).

Originally posted by: lilFajita
That's probably the best way to go about it....right now, he thinks I really like it because my kneejerk reaction is to just say I love a gift, no matter what it is

I know this is so girly to say...but it saddens me that, in 2 years, he still has no idea what I like....

Sorry, but I still win.

Married to my wife 7 years, and she still doesn't know what *I* like. I mean, I know her like the back of my hand - for any anniversary, birthday, whatever, I always find gifts that bring her to tears she's so overwhelmed (usually by picking up on her conversations with others throughout the year - first edition hardcovers of her favorite childhood book, artist's books she's been looking for over the years but unable to find, musical pieces she's been looking for, vacations to places she's always wanted to go but never mentioned to me, etc).

And the sad thing is that it's not like guys are terribly difficult to figure out. Any given guy likes 5 things - food, beer, sex, and 1 or 2 personal hobbies. And that's it. It's not rocket science. I dunno why this is so hard for her.

 

[Hammer]

elfenix sucks at buying gifts, does he?

 

[Crucial]

Wear it and get used to it. I NEVER wore any jewelry until I was married. I hated my wedding ring but I got used to it.

As for him not knowing what you like, be happy he got you anything and make damn sure you let him know a month ahead of time what you do like. You will both be happier in the end.

 

[kranky]

I would want to know you didn't like it. Eventually he'll find out that you don't, and it's going to hurt worse then than it will now. Honesty is best.

If you've been together for two years, surely you know the right way to break it to him.

Maybe he's like me - giftally challenged. I don't pick up on hints. I don't want to buy my wife something she doesn't like. So it doesn't hurt my feelings to either be told straightaway what she wants, or that she doesn't like something I got her.

Knowing she ends up with something she really enjoys would absolutely outweigh my temporary and selfish sadness at being told she doesn't like something.

 

[huesmann]

Hock your present on eBay.

 

[PunDogg]

tell him it was very thoughtful, but that both of you need to go exchange it together, that way he can also see what you like

Dogg

 

[lilFajita]

Originally posted by: Hammer
elfenix sucks at buying gifts, does he?

seriously!!! :|

 

[lilFajita]

It seems like the consensus is to just be honest, but gentle. I really hope I can find something else there. I loooove jewelry, but I am picky, so I guess I shouldn't be too harsh on him. Hopefully he will understand...

thanks guys. i knew i could come to ATOT!

 

[Gulzakar]

just wear it.

One of those moments when a man does something on his own, tries his damnest but screws it up

since he cant return it (probably) just wear it from time to time save it for a "special" moment.

 

[CtK]

just tell him it cost too much and that you dont want him to spend that much money on u and to go exchange it for something less extravagant

 

[seanws]

dump him, he obviously doesnt know anything about you

 

[simms]

Originally posted by: seanws
dump him, he obviously doesnt know anything about you

merry christmas to you too :gift:

 

[Nitemare]

Can't believe no one has asked yet...


:camera:?

I want to see how bad he did.

 

[Tbirdkid]

what if it was only 20 dollars from the corner pimp? i mean, i would wear it and just be ugly with it. LOLz.... just kiddin..

I would ask him what he thinks about taking it back and getting a necklace in its place or something. He will totally understand. Jewelry is much like s3x, if you dont tell him what you like you will just be fakin the funk...

 

[Monkey muppet]

Originally posted by: lilFajita

Originally posted by: Lola
praise him for getting you soemthing so nice, but also tell him the truth that you think its beautiful and such a thoughtful gift, but its just not your style. (in a very nice way!)
could you suggest exchanging it together so you can both decide on the item?

That's probably the best way to go about it....right now, he thinks I really like it because my kneejerk reaction is to just say I love a gift, no matter what it is

I know this is so girly to say...but it saddens me that, in 2 years, he still has no idea what I like....

Before you start putting the blame into the man, take a step back and look at yourself - Have you discussed what types of gifts and prezzies you like??