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how to get out of a rut

F

FrontlineWarrior

Diamond Member
i have a very stable life and personality, except in one area. when it comes to school, it seems like i can't do anything right. i've failed (and subsequently made up) classes. i forget important things and come across absent minded. even when i'm doing simple volunteer work related to school, i'd make mistakes. usually things don't really affect me but since the last year and a half, nearly everything related to school has not turned out too well, and even little things weigh heavily now. it just keeps adding up.

well, enough of the sob story. i just want to know if there is a way to not let all these small things affect my psyche. seems like i can't focus on the positives and all i see are negatives, and when one little thing happens my attitude is like "oh no, not again!" are there any practical steps i can take to be more positive about school and let the petty things slide?
 
look at why you're not doing well in school. are you forgetting assignments? get a pda or something that can help you remember. blowing it on tests? study more, or get help from the teacher/prof (are you in college?). failing at school is not what I'd consider a small thing so figure out why you're not doing well and take practical steps to fix it.
 
i think it's all in my head. no family history of this that i know of. no head injury. no ADD.

i don't know. it seems like all my failures and setbacks are limited to school and where i live (i moved for school). it's like if you're the sacramento kings, and you're a really good team, but when they face the lakers they get all scared and don't believe they can win and screw up. it's psychological in that aspect.

i figure there's gotta be some practical ways to think positively and not let all the little setbacks add up. wondering if anyone knows of any...
 
yeah yossarian, last year i talked to my school counselor and took steps to fix the grade problems. failing is not really a problem anymore, but now what's screwed up is that whenever my individual test scores aren't up to snuff, it feels like i failed an entire class. i mean that's how much it affects me now, because i keep falling back in the rut of thinking that i can't do things right and i can't shake all the setbacks in the past.

i mean objectively speaking i do fine in school, but i have trouble really believing it, and having the appropriate attitude. it's like a visceral thing that i can't really shake. that's really what i want to fix.
 
I failed math all throughout high school. Doing a calculus course now and its rather easy given that I spend enough time on each chapter. In high school I never did homework.

Difficulty a direct measure of time invested IMO (well...there ARE people that are just stupid heh)

Maybe you aren't spending enough time on the task. Even if you spend the same amount of time on something as classmates it may take you longer.. for me, I spend about twice the time on my calculus but, IMO, I have a more thorough understanding.
 
dww, just to clarify, my problem is not so much that i'm not doing well, but it's that the smallest things APPEAR to me to be terrible setbacks. i agree that taking more time and effort to make sure that these small setbacks don't happen is an important part, but i think there's probably other things i should be doing to help myself, and that's really what i want to know. kind of like some pep talk to myself or whatever. daily affirmations? lol
 
Sometimes we grow up in a family where we heard a lot of criticism--criticism about everything and everybody. Or perfectionism--where anything short of perfect is a failure, which is a curse in daily life.
Or we grow up hearing messages or thinking of how bad/hard the world is, and don't want to deal with it.
Sometimes we grow up around depressed people, who view any little mistake or faulure as a *setback*.

We all make mistakes--that's normal. As babies and infants we try things and see if they work. If we bump our head or fall down, we try not to do that again. We don't view that as a failure but instead we decide not to do that again, and find a better way.

In other words, we need to learn from our mistakes. Since we are no longer childdren, some of us need to *consciously* think out the process of "that didn't work: how can I not do that again, and find a better way to make it work?!"

edit: maybe you don't really want to go where your education or life is leading you, and this "problem" is reflective of that....
 
Originally posted by: FrontlineWarrior
i have a very stable life and personality, except in one area. when it comes to school, it seems like i can't do anything right. i've failed (and subsequently made up) classes. i forget important things and come across absent minded. even when i'm doing simple volunteer work related to school, i'd make mistakes. usually things don't really affect me but since the last year and a half, nearly everything related to school has not turned out too well, and even little things weigh heavily now. it just keeps adding up.

well, enough of the sob story. i just want to know if there is a way to not let all these small things affect my psyche. seems like i can't focus on the positives and all i see are negatives, and when one little thing happens my attitude is like "oh no, not again!" are there any practical steps i can take to be more positive about school and let the petty things slide?
Click to expand...


:beer: for you man, im exactly where you are, ill be watching this thread
 
db, i definitely think that's part of it. i've heard that almost everyone in medical school second guesses themselves at one point, and wonders if this is really what they want to do. i've done more than my share, and my failures last year were direct results of that. once i focused on learning the material i was at or slightly above the mean for the rest of the year. it's interesting that you picked up on that though... i wonder how much of this is affecting me, and if that's really a big part of it, what i can do. to be honest i've often regretted 1. being in medical school 2. being in this particular medical school (i had a choice to go to a school closer to home). but i always figured that everyone hates med school, especially the first two years. and i there are definitely things i like i about where i'm headed - i just don't know if this is exactly what i want. it's kind of like when something mostly fits but you wonder if it fits as much as you'd like. kind of like pre-wedding jitters i suppose.

ok so if i say that this is a big source of the problem, i wonder what i can do. i made the choice to be at this school, and i look forward to the next two years which i believe will be amazing and all worth it. this year though is terrible. i just need something to tide me until then, and something to keep me thinking positively.

ugh, i guess i just needed to let this all out and figure it out for myself.

btw beers to you too derrick
 
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