My cousin's 21 and has a friend who's the same age..we'll call him Bob. Let me give you some background on my cousin. He's a good kid, one of those people you meet and you just get a feeling that they have good character. He's not a troublemaker, does his best in school, is loyal & close to his family, isn't quick to judge people....just generally a good guy. His buddy Bob is not so stellar. He judges people easily, has a lot of hate in him (he's homophobic big time, and probably slightly racist too). He tries to get my cousin to drink (alcohol), which he refuses to do. Obviously Bob isn't fully respecting my cousin's choice. Bob wants to be the center of attention, and gets upset when he talks and people aren't listening. Then my cousin talks, and Bob interrupts or doesn't fully pay attention, etc.
So I asked my cousin, what the heck does he like about this guy? Well basically he likes him because Bob gives him relationship advice. OK..that's it??? What kind of friend is that?
We went to a bar last night (me, my two cousins, Bob, and a friend of Bob's). My OTHER cousin (age 24, we'll call him Jason) had some trash from McDonalds in his hands, and Bob gave Jason his trash too & said "Could you throw this away for me?" as we were approaching the bar. Jason probably shouldn't have taken it.. so I took the trash from Jason's hands, shoved it at Bob & said "there's the trash, go for it." He kind of laughed nervously, but he knew I was serious, and threw the stuff away. Who the f* does he think he is?? Not to mention that Bob treats Jason like crap normally, insulting him & calling him fat, telling him he needs to lose weight or he'll never get a date, etc. This is all unsolicited advice too.
Now they're all visiting my dad out of town, and Bob walks into my dad's house and makes a comment something like "this house is crap" or "we're on the farm here!" No respect at all. And the idiot is getting a hotel rather than staying at my dad's house, which is huge and has plenty of accomodations.
So.. my family & I don't really like Bob. We can all tell he's not a good person. But I don't wanna just tell my cousin "Hey, stop seeing that friend of yours, he's gonna bring you down with him." I can't think of a good way to approach this. And I don't really want to approach Bob & tell him what a piece of crap he is, because that kind of embarrasses my cousin. You might wonder why we don't just leave my cousin be.. well, he's pretty passive and doesn't really speak up for himself. Last night we were playing pool at 3am, and my cousin told Bob he had to get to bed really soon cuz he had to get up early the next day. Bob said OK, just 10 more minutes. Right. An hour passed, mostly cuz Bob couldn't stop chatting while playing pool. I could see my cousin was a bit distressed at this, but he didn't say anything, so I did. I told Bob, "Not to cut you off, but let's get the game going.. we gotta get up early tomorrow."
We're just kinda fed up with this brat. I'm trying to think of a good, mature approach to this. What do you guys think??
So I asked my cousin, what the heck does he like about this guy? Well basically he likes him because Bob gives him relationship advice. OK..that's it??? What kind of friend is that?
We went to a bar last night (me, my two cousins, Bob, and a friend of Bob's). My OTHER cousin (age 24, we'll call him Jason) had some trash from McDonalds in his hands, and Bob gave Jason his trash too & said "Could you throw this away for me?" as we were approaching the bar. Jason probably shouldn't have taken it.. so I took the trash from Jason's hands, shoved it at Bob & said "there's the trash, go for it." He kind of laughed nervously, but he knew I was serious, and threw the stuff away. Who the f* does he think he is?? Not to mention that Bob treats Jason like crap normally, insulting him & calling him fat, telling him he needs to lose weight or he'll never get a date, etc. This is all unsolicited advice too.
Now they're all visiting my dad out of town, and Bob walks into my dad's house and makes a comment something like "this house is crap" or "we're on the farm here!" No respect at all. And the idiot is getting a hotel rather than staying at my dad's house, which is huge and has plenty of accomodations.
So.. my family & I don't really like Bob. We can all tell he's not a good person. But I don't wanna just tell my cousin "Hey, stop seeing that friend of yours, he's gonna bring you down with him." I can't think of a good way to approach this. And I don't really want to approach Bob & tell him what a piece of crap he is, because that kind of embarrasses my cousin. You might wonder why we don't just leave my cousin be.. well, he's pretty passive and doesn't really speak up for himself. Last night we were playing pool at 3am, and my cousin told Bob he had to get to bed really soon cuz he had to get up early the next day. Bob said OK, just 10 more minutes. Right. An hour passed, mostly cuz Bob couldn't stop chatting while playing pool. I could see my cousin was a bit distressed at this, but he didn't say anything, so I did. I told Bob, "Not to cut you off, but let's get the game going.. we gotta get up early tomorrow."
We're just kinda fed up with this brat. I'm trying to think of a good, mature approach to this. What do you guys think??
