adairusmc
Diamond Member
1. Believe that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, starting with a mountain, trees and a midgit.
2. All evidence pointing toward evolution was intentionally planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM tests Pastafarians' faith by making things look older than they really are. "For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease."
3. Know that Pastafarian heaven includes at least one "beer volcano" and one stripper factory. It is known as "The Olive Garden".
4. Pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is all misinformation spread by Christian theologians of the Middle Ages. In reality, Pastafarianism says that they were "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who would distribute candy to children.
5. The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" are the Pastafarian equivalent of the Ten Commandments. They originate from the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. According to Pastafarianism, they were given to Pirate Mosey, the FSM equivalent of Moses, by the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself. There were originally ten, but two were dropped "on the way down the mountain". The lack of the two last I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts supposedly partly accounts for Pastafarians' self-proclaimed flimsy moral standards.
6. "RAmen" is the official conclusion to prayers, certain sections of the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc., and is a combination of the Hebrew term "Amen" (as used in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and Ramen, a type of noodle. While it is typically spelled with both a capital "R" and "A", it is also acceptable to spell it with only a capital R.
May you be touched by His noodly appendage.
2. All evidence pointing toward evolution was intentionally planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM tests Pastafarians' faith by making things look older than they really are. "For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease."
3. Know that Pastafarian heaven includes at least one "beer volcano" and one stripper factory. It is known as "The Olive Garden".
4. Pirates are "absolute divine beings" and the original Pastafarians. Their image as "thieves and outcasts" is all misinformation spread by Christian theologians of the Middle Ages. In reality, Pastafarianism says that they were "peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will" who would distribute candy to children.
5. The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" are the Pastafarian equivalent of the Ten Commandments. They originate from the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. According to Pastafarianism, they were given to Pirate Mosey, the FSM equivalent of Moses, by the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself. There were originally ten, but two were dropped "on the way down the mountain". The lack of the two last I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts supposedly partly accounts for Pastafarians' self-proclaimed flimsy moral standards.
6. "RAmen" is the official conclusion to prayers, certain sections of the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc., and is a combination of the Hebrew term "Amen" (as used in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and Ramen, a type of noodle. While it is typically spelled with both a capital "R" and "A", it is also acceptable to spell it with only a capital R.
May you be touched by His noodly appendage.
