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How to dump her

T

theatmguy

Junior Member
So I'll make this short. I've been seeing this girl for about 2 years. I'm about 23. I met her in college. What was originally a nice relationship has turned into one where we don't do anything anymore, she's needy (I do all the chores, she never cooks or does much of anything), whines, and is just annoying. She's also gained a lot of weight and just treats me like crap.

So why am I still with her? Easy.. we used to be in love and honestly there's still probably a bit left. Also, her dad got me a nice job back in her hometown for once I graduate (in about a week). He doesn't work there and never has, but just barely knew a guy there and recommended me. He was kinda shocked when I got it because he didn't know the guy very well. It only pays mid 40s but it's a great job title and the living expeses in this area are cheap. Her parents adore me and I like her parents too -- it's too bad I'm dating her and not them...

So I'll be living in the same city as her/her parents, albiet in a different part of town. I've made some good friends through her and it'll just be weird if we break up, but as you can tell, it's probably the best move.

So do I start the job for a while, and then gradually let it be known that we aren't working out? That's what I'm thinking I should do. We've already told each other numerous times that we wanted to break up, but never have.

I just know there's somebody else out there better for me, and I shouldn't have to deal with taking care of 99% of everything she ever needs when I get next to nothing in return.

For xmas she already got me a pretty nice present, so I'm not sure what to do. We graduate soon and I don't want to do anything until maybe she's situated back at her home with her parents.
 
Originally posted by: theatmguy
She's also gained a lot of weight and just treats me like crap.
Click to expand...

There is no reason for you to be with her show her the door.

EDIT:
Also please post Before and after pics to see how much she has let herself go if it 10 -20 pounds its not that bad.
 
Originally posted by: theatmguy
So I'll make this short. I've been seeing this girl for about 2 years. I'm about 23. I met her in college. What was originally a nice relationship has turned into one where we don't do anything anymore, she's needy (I do all the chores, she never cooks or does much of anything), whines, and is just annoying. She's also gained a lot of weight and just treats me like crap.

So why am I still with her? Easy.. we used to be in love and honestly there's still probably a bit left. Also, her dad got me a nice job back in her hometown for once I graduate (in about a week). He doesn't work there and never has, but just barely knew a guy there and recommended me. He was kinda shocked when I got it because he didn't know the guy very well. It only pays mid 40s but it's a great job title and the living expeses in this area are cheap. Her parents adore me and I like her parents too -- it's too bad I'm not dating them and not her...

So I'll be living in the same city as her/her parents, albiet in a different part of town. I've made some good friends through her and it'll just be weird if we break up, but as you can tell, it's probably the best move.

So do I start the job for a while, and then gradually let it be known that we aren't working out? That's what I'm thinking I should do. We've already told each other numerous times that we wanted to break up, but never have.

I just know there's somebody else out there better for me, and I shouldn't have to deal with taking care of 99% of everything she ever needs when I get next to nothing in return.

For xmas she already got me a pretty nice present, so I'm not sure what to do. We graduate in a week and I don't want to do anything until maybe she's situated back at her home with her parents.
Click to expand...


man she sounds like she is already your wife
 
Originally posted by: alien42
theatmguy as in the atm guy?

thats disgusting
Click to expand...

atm as in the technology... I just made something up really quick. If there's another meaning, whatever. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Beavis
Originally posted by: theatmguy
So I'll make this short. I've been seeing this girl for about 2 years. I'm about 23. I met her in college. What was originally a nice relationship has turned into one where we don't do anything anymore, she's needy (I do all the chores, she never cooks or does much of anything), whines, and is just annoying. She's also gained a lot of weight and just treats me like crap.

So why am I still with her? Easy.. we used to be in love and honestly there's still probably a bit left. Also, her dad got me a nice job back in her hometown for once I graduate (in about a week). He doesn't work there and never has, but just barely knew a guy there and recommended me. He was kinda shocked when I got it because he didn't know the guy very well. It only pays mid 40s but it's a great job title and the living expeses in this area are cheap. Her parents adore me and I like her parents too -- it's too bad I'm not dating them and not her...

So I'll be living in the same city as her/her parents, albiet in a different part of town. I've made some good friends through her and it'll just be weird if we break up, but as you can tell, it's probably the best move.

So do I start the job for a while, and then gradually let it be known that we aren't working out? That's what I'm thinking I should do. We've already told each other numerous times that we wanted to break up, but never have.

I just know there's somebody else out there better for me, and I shouldn't have to deal with taking care of 99% of everything she ever needs when I get next to nothing in return.

For xmas she already got me a pretty nice present, so I'm not sure what to do. We graduate in a week and I don't want to do anything until maybe she's situated back at her home with her parents.
Click to expand...


man she sounds like she is already your wife
Click to expand...


Yeah, lucky for me we aren't married. I keep telling myself how lucky I am I wasn't a fool who fell into a trap like that. I've come to the conclusion I'm too young for that anyway.

Probably the most honest piece of advice... you'll get tons of action before marriage, but after.. none. For me, if I'm not getting next to any right now and we aren't even engaged, it paints a clear picture to where things and probably headed.
 
Originally posted by: Cooler
Originally posted by: theatmguy
She's also gained a lot of weight and just treats me like crap.
Click to expand...

There is no reason for you to be with her show her the door.

EDIT:
Also please post Before and after pics to see how much she has let herself go if it 10 -20 pounds its not that bad.
Click to expand...

You couldn't pay me enough to post pictures of her on here. I'm sure it'd come back to me in some way. I'd say she's probably gained about 10-20, but she was a little chunky when we first met. I'm not too picky about girls who aren't thin, but she was a little over what I liked anyway. Her personality WAS great.. but now.. it sucks most of the time.
 
There is no easy way to dump the person you've been with for any great deal of time. Although it seems like you both mutually feel the same way? I could never be with someone who could seriously tell me they don't want to be with me any more. Show her the door man.
 
Originally posted by: theatmguy
We've already told each other numerous times that we wanted to break up, but never have.

I just know there's somebody else out there better for me, and I shouldn't have to deal with taking care of 99% of everything she ever needs when I get next to nothing in return.
Click to expand...

The top line says it all. Just do it. Calmly tell her that you don't think you're in love with her anymore and you're breaking it off. You only have one life, don't waste it.
 
serious reply: If you don't want a big discussion, just be blunt, and let her know under no circumstances will you reconcile. Be blunt, formal, brief. It sounds mean, but gets the point across

If you want to give her an explanation, mention what you have here, maybe leave out the weight part. Explain that she's too needy, and with a full time job coming up (or already started if you put it off a month or so) that you don't have the time, nor the vaguest of desires to babysit someone who's 23 or however old she is. You might want to wait on the dumping if you're worried about the job. You dont' want to start it as 'the bad guy'. I don't think you'll be an emotional wreck, since you don't sound happy with her now, so you don't have to worry about it affecting (thank you effect/affect thread yesterday) your work.



ATM = ass to mouth. butt-bang a girl, stick it in her mouth.
 
Man, that was actually very well written and seemed to be sincere. I think you should have a serious talk with her but don't be mean. It seems like she might not be all "there"
 
But in all seriousness, just tell her that you guys obviously haven't felt much for each other in a long time and you don't feel like she's pulling her weight... and with 20 extra pounds, she should be doing that much more.
 
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