How to deal with fat friend

[brainhulk]

My friend who got me into mtn biking is fat. Everybody in our mtn biking group usually does at least 1 or 2 midweek rides to keep our stamina up for our big rides every sunday. He has always brought up the rear, but we always take breaks and wait for him. We don't mind, as it's just for fun.

This past week, we did 23 miles up a hard trail. We were waiting for him at a camp site, but he never showed up. We eventually got a text that said he was turning around and headed back to the car.

Do we keep our rides shorter, or do we keep pushing and hope it gives him motivation to lose weight and train?

 

[Fire&Blood]

Tell him about vagina yogurt, it should help with weight loss, if not by actual consumption then by mere mention of it.

 

[DrDoug]

How good of a friend is he? Do you think it's right for you to try to influence his ride time/quality without his knowledge to quietly encourage him to be more fit or would it be better to talk to him about it and get his input on the matter? Is it possible he might think that your increasing ride length and difficulty might be intended to 'weed out the weak'?

Lots of variables here and not enough information to really make any kind of suggestion other than to maybe consider him and his input on the matter.

ETA: Or suggest vag yogurt...lol!

 

[thedarkwolf]

Stop more often? When I was super slow I'd get annoyed when I'd be by myself for a long time before I'd finally catch up with the main group and be able to take a break, even more so if it is a place I don't know. On days you want to go fast/far just ride by yourself or other people that can keep up. That is how we do it. We have social rides where we just dick around and don't care how slow we go and rides where we go out and hammer it to get a quick ride in.

I ride with two clydes that are 50-75lbs heavier than me and they have no problems keeping up but they ride a crap load. I'm a 1 to 2 times a week guy and they are 2 to 5 times a week people.

 

[brainhulk]

How good of a friend is he? Do you think it's right for you to try to influence his ride time/quality without his knowledge to quietly encourage him to be more fit or would it be better to talk to him about it and get his input on the matter? Is it possible he might think that your increasing ride length and difficulty might be intended to 'weed out the weak'?

Lots of variables here and not enough information to really make any kind of suggestion other than to maybe consider him and his input on the matter.

ETA: Or suggest vag yogurt...lol!

We are not the type to sit down and discuss our feelings. Someone mentioned, "should we wait for Chuck?" Someone replied fuck it, keep going...he'll catch up

Stop more often? When I was super slow I'd get annoyed when I'd be by myself for a long time before I'd finally catch up with the main group and be able to take a break, even more so if it is a place I don't know. On days you want to go fast/far just ride by yourself or other people that can keep up. That is how we do it. We have social rides where we just dick around and don't care how slow we go and rides where we go out and hammer it to get a quick ride in.

I ride with two clydes that are 50-75lbs heavier than me and they have no problems keeping up but they ride a crap load. I'm a 1 to 2 times a week guy and they are 2 to 5 times a week people.

Sunday is the only day we get together. Not really sure taking more breaks is feasable as we want to finish in a reasonable amount of time

 

[LouieST]

encourage him to do more exercise and keep doing it yourself. Just set an example for him

 

[thedarkwolf]

I'm just saying stop every 15 mins or so and let him catch back up so he doesn't feel like he is just riding by himself. Let him catch his breath for a min or two and then keep going. On the more boring parts of the trail slow down and ride at his pace for a bit, regroup at the tops of bigger climbs. That kind of stuff.

You can also do what the really fast guys I ride with do to keep themselves from being too bored while riding with us mortals. Get a single speed and/or rigid. They still kill me on even on those things lol.

 

[DrDoug]

We are not the type to sit down and discuss our feelings. Someone mentioned, "should we wait for Chuck?" Someone replied fuck it, keep going...he'll catch up



Sunday is the only day we get together. Not really sure taking more breaks is feasable as we want to finish in a reasonable amount of time

and yet he didn't so there's your answer. Since nobody cares if he's riding with you guys or not then just keep doing what you are doing. If it's too much for him then eventually he'll drop out of the ride.

Problem solved.

 

[brainhulk]

and yet he didn't so there's your answer. Since nobody cares if he's riding with you guys or not then just keep doing what you are doing. If it's too much for him then eventually he'll drop out of the ride.

Problem solved.

Yeah, the guys are a bit rough on him. He's becoming the butt of some jokes on our group text that i think are excessive. They assume being left behind will give him motivation. Who knows, mybe it will work.

I wanna keep him involved, but i also wanna keep doing the long rides too.

 

[brainhulk]

I'm just saying stop every 15 mins or so and let him catch back up so he doesn't feel like he is just riding by himself. Let him catch his breath for a min or two and then keep going. On the more boring parts of the trail slow down and ride at his pace for a bit, regroup at the tops of bigger climbs. That kind of stuff.
.

Yeah we used to stop more before. But lately we have been trying to push more without stopping.

 

[Paladin3]

Maybe designate one of the weekday rides as "casual" with the understanding that at least some of the group will wait for the slower riders so they are not riding alone? A slower, out of shape rider would be more likely to press on and not turn back if they are with others who are encouraging them. Not everyone responds well to the tough love of being abandoned, but you know your friend better than we do.

 

[DrDoug]

Yeah, the guys are a bit rough on him. He's becoming the butt of some jokes on our group text that i think are excessive. They assume being left behind will give him motivation. Who knows, mybe it will work.

I wanna keep him involved, but i also wanna keep doing the long rides too.

Being quite honest, making him the butt of jokes and thinking that pushing themselves is only going to encourage him to quit. Your problem as I see it is that he introduced you to this and now you are at the point with riding with others now where you are leaving him behind.

It sounds to me like it would be best for him if he quit unknowingly being a joke for others to laugh at.

 

[sdifox]

So stop more often yourself.

 

[LTC8K6]

So stop more often yourself.

That.

If you want to help him out, you hang back with him, or wait for him and encourage him. That way he is not alone and he has some motivation, rather than just being left behind.

You can try this out a few times and see if it helps him to get motivated.

If it doesn't, then at least you tried to help a friend.

 

[z1ggy]

Eating better is what is going to get him "in shape".

He can mountain bike his big ol fat tits off, but if he goes home and tosses down a gallon of ice cream, none of that will matter.

As far as the bike rides go, I would wait for him for as much time as what's convenient for the group. If waiting around starts to affect your fun, etc... Then time to move on. He should be aware that he is currently a burden on the group ride.

 

[highland145]

Point and laugh. Works every time.

 

[mikeford]

Ride more with your friend, or not. Personally going less than my natural pace stinks, ruins it for me.

Being on the same trail, but far enough apart you can't see each other, isn't riding together.

 

[twinrider1]

He's dead already.
Don't grieve Brainhulk.
The needs of the many
Outweigh the needs of the few
Or the fat one.

 

[Tweak155]

encourage him to do more exercise and keep doing it yourself. Just set an example for him

I do believe because of the smiley face that this will work.

 

[Jaepheth]

depending on the terrain you could literally ride circles around him.

Then you don't have to stop, and he doesn't get left behind.

 

[brianmanahan]

He's dead already.
Don't grieve Brainhulk.
The needs of the many
Outweigh the needs of the few
Or the fat one.

beautiful pome

 

[PricklyPete]

It's an unfortunate situation, but ultimately you should not jeopardize your exercise IMHO.

The jokes at his behalf are not cool though. That is the opposite of encouraging.

 

[CraKaJaX]

The same way you would deal with a skinny friend.

 

[brianmanahan]

just break up with him

 

[Aharami]

how good of a friend is he? If he's just a coworker, then just go with what you're doing. But if he's someone you've known for a while and value his friendship, then hang back with him and encourage him to get better. Or maybe go on rides with just him on other days. He got you into mountain biking hoping he can have a mtn biking buddy. If you abandon him, it might sour the relationship.