How to correct this sentence?

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Going over everything and basically putting finishing touches on my research paper and everytime Word gives the green squiggly line like this:

One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great is known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (Cockren 2).

It says that "Passive Voice (consider revising)" when I right click on anything that is underlined in that sentence.

How would you word the sentence or is it fine as it is written and just a mess-up on Word's part.

 

[waylman]

its all messed up.

 

[SackOfAllTrades]

is said to have been -> was

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Wouldn't it be "is" because it is still said to have been...

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

was doesn't fix the squiggly line

 

[notfred]

"One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb" is a sentence.
"One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great" is also a sentence.

This right here "...the Great is known as..." doesn't make any sense. does that 'is' refer to Alexander the great, or 'One'? I really don't know what you're trying to say there. Maybe you want "...the Great and is known as..."?

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: AgaBooga
Going over everything and basically putting finishing touches on my research paper and everytime Word gives the green squiggly line like this:

One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great is known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (Cockren 2).

It says that "Passive Voice (consider revising)" when I right click on anything that is underlined in that sentence. How would you word the sentence or is it fine as it is written and just a mess-up on Word's part.

Sounds like two run-on sentences to me.

The one that did survive, the Emerald Tablet of Hermes, is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great.

You are trying to say that Alexander the Great discovered this tablet in someone's tomb, right?

 

[Azraele]

Edit, n/m it's still a mess.

Clarify this for me, whose tomb was it discovered in?

 

[SackOfAllTrades]

actually, forget the was and take otu the whole underlined part

 

[waylman]

the end of the sentence is messed up too....
If you say "One that did survive was discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great is known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (Cockren 2). "

From "is known" on throws me off.....

 

[notfred]

BTW, I just added 'and' like in my previous post and word no longer underlines the sentence.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: notfred
"One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb" is a sentence.
"One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great" is also a sentence.

This right here "...the Great is known as..." doesn't make any sense. does that 'is' refer to Alexander the great, or 'One'? I really don't know what you're trying to say there. Maybe you want "...the Great and is known as..."?

Yup, putting and there solves it. Thanks again! :beer:

 

[waylman]

How about, "Alexander the Great discovered one that did survive, known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes"

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: waylman
One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great is known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (Cockren 2).

How about, "Alexander the Great discovered one that did survive, known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes"

Thanks for the help, except you were a few minutes late to Notfred

Here, you can have a :beer: too!

 

[Encryptic]

Originally posted by: AgaBooga
Going over everything and basically putting finishing touches on my research paper and everytime Word gives the green squiggly line like this:

One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great is known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (Cockren 2).

It says that "Passive Voice (consider revising)" when I right click on anything that is underlined in that sentence.

How would you word the sentence or is it fine as it is written and just a mess-up on Word's part.

How about this?

"One surviving artifact, known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes, was discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great."

I added the word "artifact" to make it sound a little less awkward although I don't know the context this sentence is in.

 

[Kilgor]

Did that one is said to survived in his tomb discovered Hermes of Alexander known as the Great Emerald Tablet. (Cockling 2)

 

[Nocturnal]

was said, has said, etc.

 

[Amorphus]

do you know what the passive voice is? (thats not condescending, I'm just wondering).

fyi, its where the subject is the object also. for example:

ACTIVE VOICE: I shoot you.
PASSIVE VOICE: I am shot by you.

"I" is the subject in both those, but in the second one, "I" is recieving the action.

another:
ACTIVE VOICE: I shoot you.
PASSIVE VOICE: You are shot by me.

"You" is the direct object of the verb (to shoot) in both those, but in the second sentence, "You" is the subject, as opposed to "I/me".


The passive voice generally shoultn't be used in essays and such, because it draws attention away from the person doing the action. That's why Word has a beef with it.

 

[hoihtah]

break up the sentence.
when in doubt, go simple.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: Kilgor
Did that one is said to survived in his tomb discovered Hermes of Alexander known as the Great Emerald Tablet. (Cockling 2)

Wha? Thats confusing, but if you're asking what the artifact is, its the "Emerald Tablet" which is what was found by Alexander the Great

 

[Nocturnal]

Are you doing an essay on ATG?

 

[waylman]

"One surviving artifact, known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes, was discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great."

thats the winner

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: AgaBooga
Going over everything and basically putting finishing touches on my research paper and everytime Word gives the green squiggly line like this:

One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great is known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (Cockren 2).

It says that "Passive Voice (consider revising)" when I right click on anything that is underlined in that sentence.

How would you word the sentence or is it fine as it is written and just a mess-up on Word's part.

How about this?

"One surviving artifact, known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes, was discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great."

I added the word "artifact" to make it sound a little less awkward although I don't know the context this sentence is in.

The word artifact makes it sound better IMO, but that is in the passive voice as well according to Word. I'm trying to follow Amorphus gave and make it in the active voice.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: Nocturnal
Are you doing an essay on ATG?

ATG? I'm doing mine on Alchemy

 

[cpals]

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: AgaBooga
Going over everything and basically putting finishing touches on my research paper and everytime Word gives the green squiggly line like this:

One that did survive is said to have been discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great is known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes (Cockren 2).

It says that "Passive Voice (consider revising)" when I right click on anything that is underlined in that sentence.

How would you word the sentence or is it fine as it is written and just a mess-up on Word's part.

How about this?

"One surviving artifact, known as the Emerald Tablet of Hermes, was discovered in his tomb by Alexander the Great."

I added the word "artifact" to make it sound a little less awkward although I don't know the context this sentence is in.

was discovered in his tomb

Who does "his" refer to?