How to Cope With Annoying Co-Workers

[Mucho]

Be Honest and Patient and Your Workplace Relationships Can Improve
By TORY JOHNSON

March 5, 2007 ? - Sometimes it's the little things that drive us bonkers at work. You know -- the gum snappers, loud laughers and constant chatterers. In other offices, it's the people who leave food to rot in the refrigerator or the employees who heat up stinky lunches in the microwave. At one company I visited, WallSt.net, the employee gripe was aimed at CEO Albert Aimers. His offense: Parking his Mercedes in two spaces unlike the 400 other cars in the lot. When I pointed this out, Aimers was good-natured and recognized that it wasn't fair for his doors to be protected from dings while everyone else had to squeeze into one space. He promised to use a single spot from that day forward.

This and other annoying habits at his California office are representative of more than 1,000 e-mails we received on this topic. Since I can't travel around the country like the Super Nanny mediating disputes, here are some ways co-workers can handle them on their own.

Be Candid, Not Catty

Be candid, not catty. It's better to handle the issue rather than let it drive you berserk. The goal is to be honest, but not brutally so. You don't have free reign to nitpick. Be focused and professional. Create a gripe group where everyone comes together once a month with permission to say what's on their minds. We tried this method at WallSt.net and it worked well: Everyone felt safe in saying something because the spirit and tone were friendly. If you can't get the group together, try it one on one.

Avoid Personal Insults

Avoid personal insults and focus on performance. It's up to you to be careful not to turn your complaint into a confrontation. As my mom always says, "It's not what you say, but how you say it." Avoid personal attacks at all costs. When someone makes a mess of the microwave, don't say, "You're such a pig." Instead, try saying, "To keep the microwave clean for everyone, all of us must pay attention to wiping it down after each use. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, so I'd appreciate it if you'd try to be more diligent about this."

Another way to handle it is by focusing on your performance. Do this by flipping it around and taking the onus off their behavior and instead on how it impacts your ability to do your job. Try, "It's nice that you're so happy, but I'm having a hard time concentrating with all the laughter around here." This is better than, "Your ridiculous laughter annoys the heck out of me!" That may be what you're thinking, but saying so won't bring about peace.

To the co-worker who just won't leave your cubicle, avoid telling him or her to shut up and get lost. Instead say, "If there were more hours in the day, we could chat more, but I've got to buckle down and get my work done." No one can argue with that at work.

Be Patient

Be patient. You may very well be teaching old dogs new tricks and new behavior. Expect to have to remind someone a couple of times before seeing a change. Annoying habits can be hard to break, so don't expect overnight miracles. Text

 

[mobobuff]

When someone makes a mess of the microwave, don't say, "You're such a pig." Instead, try saying, "To keep the microwave clean for everyone, all of us must pay attention to wiping it down after each use. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, so I'd appreciate it if you'd try to be more diligent about this."

I'd be less offended at being called a pig, actually. Lets not play Goofus and Gallant, if you've got a problem, I'll respect you more for being honest, not pretentious.

Different strokes, I suppose.

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: mobobuff

When someone makes a mess of the microwave, don't say, "You're such a pig." Instead, try saying, "To keep the microwave clean for everyone, all of us must pay attention to wiping it down after each use. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, so I'd appreciate it if you'd try to be more diligent about this."

I'd be less offended at being called a pig, actually. Lets not play Goofus and Gallant, if you've got a problem, I'll respect you more for being honest, not pretentious.

Different strokes, I suppose.

I have to agree that speaking like they suggest would make as many enemies as outright insults would. With those words i'd think someone was trying to talk down to me.

How about: "Can you please clean the microwave after using it?"

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: mobobuff

When someone makes a mess of the microwave, don't say, "You're such a pig." Instead, try saying, "To keep the microwave clean for everyone, all of us must pay attention to wiping it down after each use. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, so I'd appreciate it if you'd try to be more diligent about this."

I'd be less offended at being called a pig, actually. Lets not play Goofus and Gallant, if you've got a problem, I'll respect you more for being honest, not pretentious.

Different strokes, I suppose.

I have to agree that speaking like they suggest would make as many enemies as outright insults would. With those words i'd think someone was trying to talk down to me.

How about: "Can you please clean the microwave after using it?"

As someone who enjoys literature, fine oratory, and has a respect for the language, I find it insulting that I'm expected to talk like a schlub or risk being seen as pretentious.

Read a book.

 

[Steve]

Marked.

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: mobobuff

When someone makes a mess of the microwave, don't say, "You're such a pig." Instead, try saying, "To keep the microwave clean for everyone, all of us must pay attention to wiping it down after each use. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, so I'd appreciate it if you'd try to be more diligent about this."

I'd be less offended at being called a pig, actually. Lets not play Goofus and Gallant, if you've got a problem, I'll respect you more for being honest, not pretentious.

Different strokes, I suppose.

I have to agree that speaking like they suggest would make as many enemies as outright insults would. With those words i'd think someone was trying to talk down to me.

How about: "Can you please clean the microwave after using it?"

As someone who enjoys literature, fine oratory, and has a respect for the language, I find it insulting that I'm expected to talk like a schlub or risk being seen as pretentious.

Read a book.

You assuming that you're more well-read or have more respect for English is actually what would mark you as pretentious. In your rush to promote yourself you missed the point that problem is with the amount of detail and the tone, not with being able to understand what the person is saying.

If you're talking to an equal, you can assume that the person knows why a microwave needs to be cleaned. Giving a lecture and going into details about why things need to be cleaned is the type of thing you'd do with a small child. Simply ask to clean it in the same manner that you'd ask anything else.

Let's say you were walking down the sidewalk next to a friend, and someone trying to pass you said:
"To give each person the ability to move at the pace they would prefer, we must all make an effort to minimize the amount of space we take up and try to prevent obstructing others. Unfortunately this isn't always the case, so i'd appreciate it if you would be more cognizant about impeding the flow of traffic."

Would you appreciate the person's oratorical skills, or prefer that that person talked more like a "schlub"?

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: mobobuff

When someone makes a mess of the microwave, don't say, "You're such a pig." Instead, try saying, "To keep the microwave clean for everyone, all of us must pay attention to wiping it down after each use. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case, so I'd appreciate it if you'd try to be more diligent about this."

I'd be less offended at being called a pig, actually. Lets not play Goofus and Gallant, if you've got a problem, I'll respect you more for being honest, not pretentious.

Different strokes, I suppose.

I have to agree that speaking like they suggest would make as many enemies as outright insults would. With those words i'd think someone was trying to talk down to me.

How about: "Can you please clean the microwave after using it?"

As someone who enjoys literature, fine oratory, and has a respect for the language, I find it insulting that I'm expected to talk like a schlub or risk being seen as pretentious.

Read a book.

You assuming that you're more well-read or have more respect for English is actually what would mark you as pretentious. In your rush to promote yourself you missed the point that problem is with the amount of detail and the tone, not with being able to understand what the person is saying.

If you're talking to an equal, you can assume that the person knows why a microwave needs to be cleaned. Giving a lecture and going into details about why things need to be cleaned is the type of thing you'd do with a small child. Simply ask to clean it in the same manner that you'd ask anything else.

Let's say you were walking down the sidewalk next to a friend, and someone trying to pass you said:
"To give each person the ability to move at the pace they would prefer, we must all make an effort to minimize the amount of space we take up and try to prevent obstructing others. Unfortunately this isn't always the case, so i'd appreciate it if you would be more cognizant about impeding the flow of traffic."

Would you appreciate the person's oratorical skills, or prefer that that person talked more like a "schlub"?

You're taking a contrarian view of my post. It's doubtful anyone on this board, or that responded to this post, would view me as pedantic IRL. I'm easy to get along with, really.

I work with a wide range of people, some of whom view using words of more than three syllables as a deliberate attempt to belittle them.

That being said, I took the OP to imply e-mail or memo and not speech. No one talks that way.