this is for an interview so I am trying to say what I really enjoy but at the same time not get carried away. How is this below?
I excel in a fast-paced work environment where I feel challenged and my work hours are filled with productivity. I enjoy working closely with co-workers from diverse backgrounds where we share a passion for technology. An environment where I can see tangible and quantifiable results provided through my work to the company and the users is ideal.
IMHO it's too contrived but you are on the right track. The biggest complaint about IT people is that they relate better to computers than they do people. I hired over 200 engineers and technical people when I was a recruiter.
Try something like this:
I enjoy working with all types of people. (You could probably stop right there and get the job. It also speaks to diversity.)
I get along well with others and like working on a team. (translation: I'm not a know-it-all a$$hat like a lot of IT people.)
I like to keep busy and feel a sense of accomplishment even when completing simple tasks. (This says I am a person that likes to get things done so you are not going to have to follow me around like a 3 year old and I'm not going to whine if you assign me some of the less important projects.)
I think with my education and experience in (insert specific experience) would make me an ideal fit for this position. (I really want this position, I am very interested and I am the only candidate worth hiring.)
Thank you for your time. I enjoyed speaking with you. (I realize your time is valuable and that hiring for a new position is probably the least enjoyable part of your entire day.)
Promptly send him a hand written thank you note immediately after interviewing. He will get it in the mail the next day and if the position comes down to you or another candidate you will definitely be the one to get the job.
~NT