How to become an illegal alien?

J0hnny

Platinum Member
Jul 2, 2002
2,366
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Not that I necessarily agree, but, this was sent through emails:

Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)




The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,


As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin


Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.
Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!
 

Todd33

Diamond Member
Oct 16, 2003
7,842
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Fwd:Fwd:Fwd phony e-mails are always welcome here, independent and honest thought is not.
 

techs

Lifer
Sep 26, 2000
28,561
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Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications
Huh?
Of course thats not true. Just like a lot of things in that letter.
They are "truthy"
 

steppinthrax

Diamond Member
Jul 17, 2006
3,990
5
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You or someone else long time ago posted this thread and it's a rehash.

I believe I was the one who argued every single point as wrong. I'm not going to do it again. Refer to the previous thread.

Motion to lock thread
 

ayabe

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2005
7,449
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Originally posted by: techs
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications
Huh?
Of course thats not true. Just like a lot of things in that letter.
They are "truthy"

My alma mater gets extra money depending on how many international students they recruit, so there may be some truth to that. They also get tuition breaks.
 

fskimospy

Elite Member
Mar 10, 2006
81,309
43,338
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Comon guys, read that letter and honestly ask yourself if you believe even one scrap of it is accurate. There is a reason why these things are only circulated through email forwarding, because if someone had to take responsibility for the points it is raising they would lose all credibility.
 

Martin

Lifer
Jan 15, 2000
29,178
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Ah yes, the glamorous life of the California strawberry picker - fast cars, beautiful women, big mansions - these lucky people have it all! If anyone actually believes this, all you have to do is go to a US embassy, sign a form and you can renounce your citizenship...
 

Todd33

Diamond Member
Oct 16, 2003
7,842
2
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"They also get tuition breaks."

International student pay far more in tuition, that's why they are recruited to support all the spoiled US students who pay less.
 

ayabe

Diamond Member
Aug 10, 2005
7,449
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Originally posted by: Todd33
"They also get tuition breaks."

International student pay far more in tuition, that's why they are recruited to support all the spoiled US students who pay less.

I have first hand experience with this at my university when I worked in the administration department as a student.

Spoiled US students, any more unsubstantiated stereotypes you want to throw out there?
 

BAMAVOO

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,089
41
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Originally posted by: steppinthrax
You or someone else long time ago posted this thread and it's a rehash.

I believe I was the one who argued every single point as wrong. I'm not going to do it again. Refer to the previous thread.

Motion to lock thread

Bull. You think all illegals have DL's and Insurance. Bwhahahah You = DUPED.
 

Todd33

Diamond Member
Oct 16, 2003
7,842
2
81
Originally posted by: ayabe
Originally posted by: Todd33
"They also get tuition breaks."

International student pay far more in tuition, that's why they are recruited to support all the spoiled US students who pay less.

I have first hand experience with this at my university when I worked in the administration department as a student.

Spoiled US students, any more unsubstantiated stereotypes you want to throw out there?

You have a weird school then (ITT tech?). It's common practice to bring rich foreign students to schools and milk them for tuition. Why on Earth would a school give them lower prices? Logic FTW.

I just talked to my buddy who used to teach at universities, he said they pay much more in general. So unless you have proof, you cannot jump the border and get discounted tuition, that's ridiculous.
 

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