How to be the Ultimate Pimp

[RaynorWolfcastle]

The truth is, no one has any idea what the hell women are thinking, including themselves. Over the years, a foolproof method to pick up women has been devised and it goes as follows. Walk up behind the girl/woman without letting her see that you're really some weirdo that spends his days in front of his computer. When you get within arm's reach casually ask "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" while simultaneously bringing the said chloroform soaked rag to close enough to her face so that she may get a big whiff of it and confirm that it is in fact chloroform. At this point, you have to trust your instinct.

It is important that you are standing behind the woman so that when she swoons into your arms because of your irresistable charm you are prepared to catch her and immediately wisk her away to your bachelor pad or your mom's basement (whichever applies). This method is foolproof and works for any woman that does not have a bodyguard, it never fails.

Good luck...

 

[cjgallen]

:thumbsup:

 

[Kalvin00]

:thumbsdown:

 

[QuitBanningMe]

Well....it is a foolproof plan.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: QuitBanningMe
Well....it is a foolproof plan.

What if you forget the chloroform?

 

[Deeko]

ahhh rape

 

[Conky]

You're not supposed to bring them home! DUH!

Best to leave them in a dumpster to accentuate the experience for them when they awake from their "date".

 

[huesmann]

It's only rape if someone finds out.

 

[BMdoobieW]

It's legal in all 0 states!

 

[venk]

Originally posted by: Howard

Originally posted by: QuitBanningMe
Well....it is a foolproof plan.

What if you forget the chloroform?

Then she sniffs the rag, says "No", and walks away. You then run home and get your chloroform and try it on the next girl.

Or you could just say

"Does this smell like a date rape drug to you?"

 

[RaynorWolfcastle]

Originally posted by: Deeko
ahhh rape

How so? I didn't mention sex anywhere in that post.

 

[kreactor]

surprise sex, goddamit!

 

[Amused]

You're forgetting that most of the geeks here are far weaker than your average girl, and don't stand a chance if the girl bats the rag away and turns on them.

A roofiecolada is still their best hope, provided they have the physical ability to lift and turn the girl once doped.

 

[edmundoab]

hmm, let me look in the mirror and ask myself if I can do it...

isk isk

 

[Mucho]

 

[shilala]

***Public Service Announcement***
When moving/transporting the unconscious subject, be sure to drag said subject by the hair. Dragging by the feet risks filling subject with rocks.
***/Public Service Announcement***
Now back to your regularly scheduled messages.

 

[Crappopotamus]

you could also take the rohypnol angle. roofies is a tried and true among pimps. ... ...

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: kreactor
surprise sex, goddamit!

Finally somebody got it right. No such thing as rape, just surprise sex.

 

[jadinolf]

:thumbsdown:

 

[JoeKing]

damn, and I thought my stink finger approach was gold.

I bow to you oh wise one.

 

[booger711]

wow this is sad

 

[jdini76]

what if she doesn't know what chloroform smells like?

 

[RaynorWolfcastle]

Originally posted by: jdini76
what if she doesn't know what chloroform smells like?

It's never been a problem...

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: BMdoobieW
It's legal in all 50 states!

fixed

oh, did i forget to mention that this is true only if you're not caught?

 

[Chiboy]

The simple guide

1. Figure out what type they are, ie. slut or goodgrl

2. Tell them what they want to here

3. For gooldgrl, I want to be with for life, & for slut look beech I dont want a relationship but if we hooked up, I bet we can have a lot of fun together.

End.