Ok, I decided to make an updated post on this subject. My last thread got a little out of control and the advice was spread out across several pages. After rereading my original post, I think I gave some people the wrong message. In this post, I'll attempt to describe everything thoroughly and go over the basics a little mor. Bear with me, this post could get a little long. This post is mainly directed towards creating an attraction with very beautiful women (ages 16-25), but it will help you socialize with anyone and can help you create a lasting relationship if that is your choice. I ask that you read the entire post before asking questions or flaming. There is a lot of valuable information here that you won't find in any book or audiotape.
Like I said before, confidence is the number one key. This should be brutally obvious to you by now. However, being confident does not mean going around saying you are confident. It's about the way you compose yourself and act around others. You have to have good posture, speak calmly, maintain a positive disposition, etc. I am dead serious when I say that any decent average looking guy will be able to pickup some gorgeous girls if he can become adept at the techniques in this thread. Looks are certainly over rated. Most average don't have hot girlfriends just because they aren't confident in themselves. There are millions of hot women out there, it doesn't matter if you screw up while talking to a few of them. You have a better shot than if you don't say anything at all. Come on, you are only young once.
Some examples are needed here. I think Bob Abreu and Tom Cruise are perfect at this. These are two guys that do not give a fvck what people think. Abreu's knockout fiance cheated on him on live tv and he completely shrugged it off while having one of the best seasons of his career. The counter-examples are most guys you see in clubs. You don't want to brag to a girl and act all cocky to show her that you are confident. You always hear that girls are attracted to "alpha males". You really have to laugh when you see a guy trying to act all protective and everything around a girl. A real "alpha" (if they exist) wouldn't even care if his girl is talking to another guy because he knows she'll come back to him. You want to be a guy that she loves to be around.
Before I beat that topic into the ground any further, let's move on. The next piece of advice that everyone will tell you is to just be yourself. This can be very true, but almost every guy interprets this the wrong way. Yes, you do want a girl to like you for who you are and you can not act phony around her. Most guys think this means to continue to act how they normally do around women, but this is wrong. You have to realize that most guys act phony as it is around women. They are always agreeing with everything they say, complimenting them, buying them sruff, and so on. When someone says to be yourself, it means to act like you normally do around friends.
Your mentality when approaching a girl should be that she is just a friend. She is not some goddess who is better than you. Women are people and they should be treated as such. Take the girls off the pedestal and put them on the same level as yourself. Just talk to them honestly. Do you go along with everything your buddies say and kiss up to them. Girls are not these manipulative creatures who are plotting against you like far too many guys think. Just approach them and they'll really respect you. Don't try any canned openers because they will not work. Hot girls love it when a guy shows that they aren't intimidated by them. The worst that could happen is a girl will tell you she has a boyfriend, is that the end of the world.
Most guys start complimenting a girl right away. This is a huge turnoff because hot girls are hit on non-stop, it seems like you have a motive, it shows that you are easy to get, and the girl will think you are just trying to get in her pants. I suggest not praising a girl at all until you at least start talking to her for a little bit. And when you do make a compliment, please don't make it about their looks. If you want to say something nice, make sure it is not about a physical feature.
Also, you have to make really strong eye contact with a girl. Don't slouch around or look at her body. She'll either think that you are insecure or that you think of her as an object. Both of which are very bad. If you are walking and see a girl that catches your attention, don't be afraid to make eye contact with her. When she looks back at you, definately do not look away. Instead, give her a little smile. If she smiles back (which she usually will), walk over to her. I know a lot of guys have trouble approaching a girl, but you don't need to do anything fancy. This is usually all I do and it works quite well. Don't try to plan what to say ahead of time, because situations will never work out like you want them to.
You don't always have to be such a nice guy to get the girl. On occasion, you can tease her a little bit about wearing too much makeup or something. If she playfully hits you, that's a real good sign. It can be a good way to show her you aren't intimidated by her. Now, please don't take this the wrong way. You don't want to act like a jerk around her. Don't listen to all those teen movies; why in the world would a girl want to date a jerk. There is a pretty clear line between playfully teasing her and being mean. All you are really doing here is giving a backhanded compliment and being honest with her.
You can screw up if you try to hard though. Far too often I see guys try to act funny and playful around girls, but make jacka$$es of themselves. When you are telling a joke, don't laugh as soon as you are done telling it. When you are teasing her, don't smile and say you were kidding right after. This just shows her that you are pu$$y. Don't be her emotional tampon and listen to all her drama when she starts talking about her friends. One thing I picked up on recently is how guys will try to point out something they don't like. Like, he'll talk about how the service is slow at a restaurant. He believes the girl will think he is perceptive and knows what he wants, but she'll just think he is a whiny b@stard. The key is to not try to hard. Remember, treat her like a friend.
Once you know her a little bit better you can start doing some nice things, but don't overdo it like most guys. You do not want to buy her a bunch of flowers, pay for all your dates, run errands for her, etc. Believe me, you think you are being nice to her, but girls are not attracted to pushovers. Stand up for youself and be a man. If anything, she'll appreciate you a lot more when you do something nice for her. Girls want to date men, not wussies. Don't act desperate around her.
One problem that arises from treating a girl like a friend is that you can be put into the "just friends" category which is hard to break out of. She really should know you are interested in her by the way you act, but this little tip can go a long way. Make physical contact with her. By the end of your first conversation, you should have at least some touching go on. Whether it be playful hitting, a small hug, playing with her hair, whatever. I am pretty daring with this, but it works well. The girl will really think you are unique, she'll know you are interested in her, and it will be obvious that you aren't intimidated at all. Plus, it will make things a lot more comfortable down the road.
At the end of the conversation, you need to get her phone number. Here is where most guys fail. They always ask for her number and give her the upper hand. Even if she does give it to you, she'll be thinking that you are easy to get. Any girl will tell you that it is more fun to chase a guy. What you want to do is setup a situation where she will offer you her number without you really asking. Psychologically, she'll be more attracted to you and feel that you accepted her. The line I use most of the time is "Well (her name), I gotta run but you seem like a lot fun. We should hang out sometime." She'll almost always offer her number after that. If not, then you can just tell her to give you her cell number so you can get in touch.
On the phone, use a similar technique. Imply that you are going somewhere and that she should join you. If she says no (unlikely), you are showing her that you would still go there anyway. Don't ask her to go out on a date until the relationship has been steady for a while. If you want, you can ask her what her schedule is like during the week so she can't really turn you down since you know she is free that day. Also, never call on a Friday or Saturday because she will most likely have plans to go out already.
I could diverge onto more things, but this is more than enough information for anyone. Confidence and personality go a long way. Don't try to be someone you are not. Even if it works at first, the relationship won't last. The final step is to turn off the computer and get out there. You have to try if you want to be successful. Women are important to any guy, but keep your priorities straight. Be happy and respect yourself first. Don't compromise yourself or your beliefs for anyone. I might expand on a few things or share some personal stories in later posts, but this is all you really need. Just try it and the girls will go crazy over you.
Cliffnotes: A "player" captures a woman's body and seduces her. I capture a woman's heart and let her seduce me.
Like I said before, confidence is the number one key. This should be brutally obvious to you by now. However, being confident does not mean going around saying you are confident. It's about the way you compose yourself and act around others. You have to have good posture, speak calmly, maintain a positive disposition, etc. I am dead serious when I say that any decent average looking guy will be able to pickup some gorgeous girls if he can become adept at the techniques in this thread. Looks are certainly over rated. Most average don't have hot girlfriends just because they aren't confident in themselves. There are millions of hot women out there, it doesn't matter if you screw up while talking to a few of them. You have a better shot than if you don't say anything at all. Come on, you are only young once.
Some examples are needed here. I think Bob Abreu and Tom Cruise are perfect at this. These are two guys that do not give a fvck what people think. Abreu's knockout fiance cheated on him on live tv and he completely shrugged it off while having one of the best seasons of his career. The counter-examples are most guys you see in clubs. You don't want to brag to a girl and act all cocky to show her that you are confident. You always hear that girls are attracted to "alpha males". You really have to laugh when you see a guy trying to act all protective and everything around a girl. A real "alpha" (if they exist) wouldn't even care if his girl is talking to another guy because he knows she'll come back to him. You want to be a guy that she loves to be around.
Before I beat that topic into the ground any further, let's move on. The next piece of advice that everyone will tell you is to just be yourself. This can be very true, but almost every guy interprets this the wrong way. Yes, you do want a girl to like you for who you are and you can not act phony around her. Most guys think this means to continue to act how they normally do around women, but this is wrong. You have to realize that most guys act phony as it is around women. They are always agreeing with everything they say, complimenting them, buying them sruff, and so on. When someone says to be yourself, it means to act like you normally do around friends.
Your mentality when approaching a girl should be that she is just a friend. She is not some goddess who is better than you. Women are people and they should be treated as such. Take the girls off the pedestal and put them on the same level as yourself. Just talk to them honestly. Do you go along with everything your buddies say and kiss up to them. Girls are not these manipulative creatures who are plotting against you like far too many guys think. Just approach them and they'll really respect you. Don't try any canned openers because they will not work. Hot girls love it when a guy shows that they aren't intimidated by them. The worst that could happen is a girl will tell you she has a boyfriend, is that the end of the world.
Most guys start complimenting a girl right away. This is a huge turnoff because hot girls are hit on non-stop, it seems like you have a motive, it shows that you are easy to get, and the girl will think you are just trying to get in her pants. I suggest not praising a girl at all until you at least start talking to her for a little bit. And when you do make a compliment, please don't make it about their looks. If you want to say something nice, make sure it is not about a physical feature.
Also, you have to make really strong eye contact with a girl. Don't slouch around or look at her body. She'll either think that you are insecure or that you think of her as an object. Both of which are very bad. If you are walking and see a girl that catches your attention, don't be afraid to make eye contact with her. When she looks back at you, definately do not look away. Instead, give her a little smile. If she smiles back (which she usually will), walk over to her. I know a lot of guys have trouble approaching a girl, but you don't need to do anything fancy. This is usually all I do and it works quite well. Don't try to plan what to say ahead of time, because situations will never work out like you want them to.
You don't always have to be such a nice guy to get the girl. On occasion, you can tease her a little bit about wearing too much makeup or something. If she playfully hits you, that's a real good sign. It can be a good way to show her you aren't intimidated by her. Now, please don't take this the wrong way. You don't want to act like a jerk around her. Don't listen to all those teen movies; why in the world would a girl want to date a jerk. There is a pretty clear line between playfully teasing her and being mean. All you are really doing here is giving a backhanded compliment and being honest with her.
You can screw up if you try to hard though. Far too often I see guys try to act funny and playful around girls, but make jacka$$es of themselves. When you are telling a joke, don't laugh as soon as you are done telling it. When you are teasing her, don't smile and say you were kidding right after. This just shows her that you are pu$$y. Don't be her emotional tampon and listen to all her drama when she starts talking about her friends. One thing I picked up on recently is how guys will try to point out something they don't like. Like, he'll talk about how the service is slow at a restaurant. He believes the girl will think he is perceptive and knows what he wants, but she'll just think he is a whiny b@stard. The key is to not try to hard. Remember, treat her like a friend.
Once you know her a little bit better you can start doing some nice things, but don't overdo it like most guys. You do not want to buy her a bunch of flowers, pay for all your dates, run errands for her, etc. Believe me, you think you are being nice to her, but girls are not attracted to pushovers. Stand up for youself and be a man. If anything, she'll appreciate you a lot more when you do something nice for her. Girls want to date men, not wussies. Don't act desperate around her.
One problem that arises from treating a girl like a friend is that you can be put into the "just friends" category which is hard to break out of. She really should know you are interested in her by the way you act, but this little tip can go a long way. Make physical contact with her. By the end of your first conversation, you should have at least some touching go on. Whether it be playful hitting, a small hug, playing with her hair, whatever. I am pretty daring with this, but it works well. The girl will really think you are unique, she'll know you are interested in her, and it will be obvious that you aren't intimidated at all. Plus, it will make things a lot more comfortable down the road.
At the end of the conversation, you need to get her phone number. Here is where most guys fail. They always ask for her number and give her the upper hand. Even if she does give it to you, she'll be thinking that you are easy to get. Any girl will tell you that it is more fun to chase a guy. What you want to do is setup a situation where she will offer you her number without you really asking. Psychologically, she'll be more attracted to you and feel that you accepted her. The line I use most of the time is "Well (her name), I gotta run but you seem like a lot fun. We should hang out sometime." She'll almost always offer her number after that. If not, then you can just tell her to give you her cell number so you can get in touch.
On the phone, use a similar technique. Imply that you are going somewhere and that she should join you. If she says no (unlikely), you are showing her that you would still go there anyway. Don't ask her to go out on a date until the relationship has been steady for a while. If you want, you can ask her what her schedule is like during the week so she can't really turn you down since you know she is free that day. Also, never call on a Friday or Saturday because she will most likely have plans to go out already.
I could diverge onto more things, but this is more than enough information for anyone. Confidence and personality go a long way. Don't try to be someone you are not. Even if it works at first, the relationship won't last. The final step is to turn off the computer and get out there. You have to try if you want to be successful. Women are important to any guy, but keep your priorities straight. Be happy and respect yourself first. Don't compromise yourself or your beliefs for anyone. I might expand on a few things or share some personal stories in later posts, but this is all you really need. Just try it and the girls will go crazy over you.
Cliffnotes: A "player" captures a woman's body and seduces her. I capture a woman's heart and let her seduce me.
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