How to ask a woman you want to date her age without asking?

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G

GL

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,547
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To make a long story short, there is this girl (or perhaps I should say woman) that I've gotten to known over the past month or two. Last week I asked for her number and she gave it to me. Today I called her up. I know that she's older than me but I'm not sure by how many years (I'm 21). Everytime we skirt the issue of age indirectly, she makes me think she's a lot older than me (i.e. >25). Tonight when I phoned her up, at one point we were discussing something and her response was "<laugh> yeah I'm really OLD! I told you". I was going to ask her out but then visions of me dating some 30 year old cougar went through my mind and I chickened out.

Last day of classes is Wednesday. I will ask her out but is there any way I can get her to spit out her age without sounding rude? I've already got a couple of ideas from people but I need some more!

She's SOOOOO a 10 in my books too. She's got a career, I think she lives out on her own. She sounds mature, she's really damn smart. And she's really really pretty too. I can't believe she's into computers, she's the first girl in my entire program I've been attracted to. But now my friends are scaring me with stuff I don't want to deal with like "what if she's newly divorced", "what if she's <fill in your 30-something-year-old dilemma here>".
 
G

GL

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,547
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0


<< I don't see the problem. If you like her, why does it matter how old she is?

amish >>



Let me be brutally honest. I don't think I'm mature enough to be dating her. I understand that the older you get the less age really means but if she is, for example, 27, and I'm only 21, there's a lot of stuff she's been through that I haven't. I still live at home for goodness sakes! I'm really looking for a long term relationship at this point...I'm not really into short term flings, and having been through a break-up of a lengthy relationship a year ago I want to do that as few times as possible. I can see us working out really well as a couple but again, at say 27, she'll be thinking marriage and although I want a committed relationship I'm not into the whole marriage thing...I think I'll wait until I'm mature enough, financially stable enough, and have gotten some of my individual goals out of the way before I get married. This really is all getting ahead of myself at this point, but I think you see the point. Short answer again, I don't think I'm mature enough:)
 
A

arigato

Senior member
Sep 19, 2001
944
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If you want to be sneaky you could always try to get a look at her drivers license. It is possible that she isn't that much older than you. I said the same thing to my boyfriend and he is only three years younger than I am.
 
E

Electric Amish

Elite Member
Oct 11, 1999
23,578
1
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You are right. You're not mature enough.

You want a long-term relationship, but you don't want marriage.

I got married at 19. Been married to the same woman ever since. I guess I'm the wrong one to talk to. :)

amish
 
G

GL

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,547
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Well I still appreciate your input Electric Amish. I want to get married eventually but there are some goals in my life that just don't seem to be doable if I'm married and have a family. I don't want the wife and family to play second fiddle to some of the goals I'm working towards, and that's exactly what would be required. So for now, marriage is a "something I'll try in my 30s" thing.
 
Y

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
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I think maybe your worrying a bit too much already. ;) Who says she wants to get married? Maybe she just wants what you do, and to move forward in her life without that commitment too. Women are not always looking to settle down, sometimes we just want to enjoy life for a while too. You will never know, unless you try.
 
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LethalWolfe

Diamond Member
Apr 14, 2001
3,679
0
0
Honestly, after high school age shouldn't matter (aside from entertainment that requires you be 21 or over). Who knows, maybe she can teach you a few things she has has experienced more things than you. Also, *typical* people in their early/mid 20's (tail end of college/just graduated) shouldn't date w/in their own age group if they are looking for a long term deal. After graduation everyone (well, hopefully) has dreams, hopes, goals, desires, and careers they want to go after and it's rare for 2 people to keep their lives in sync thru all that. Especially when yer first few years after college are spent paying yer dues in yer career path (or figuring out what you really want) and you'll be working more than anything else.

Of course, this is just one man's opinion so YMMV. :)


Lethal
 
A

Aceman

Banned
Oct 9, 1999
3,159
0
0
If she looks good and she's in her thirties I'd be going after her in a heartbeat. Son, there is nothing better in life than sex with a good looking woman in her thirties! She's coming up on her prime and you're sadly leaving your "prime" sexual peak a 21.
 
E

eakers

Lifer
Aug 14, 2000
12,169
2
0
as ive told you with teh whole phone number thing.

do eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

the next time she says "im old" you say "whatever, how old are you?"

its all about the directness paul. how else do you expect to use my patented "do you wanna make out now?"

*kat. <-- :D
 
db

db

Lifer
Dec 6, 1999
10,575
292
126
Man, you are totally putting the cart before the horse. Relax.
Start slow, just as friends. See if you can be friends first. Then see how you feel. You'll know by then.

See if she wants to meet for some coffee or something neutral like that. Also think about how you would feel if it turns out
she has a kid (or kids).
 
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