How to approach an unknown employee for a "date"?

[Nevyn522]

This certainly feels like walking blindfolded into a possibly crowded theater, shouting out "I'm a lonely, afraid, and pathetic," and waiting desperately for any reply... aside from "We noticed, go away!"

This is NOT a how-to, and I'm not talking about an underling.

I've just moved from NY to WA, and unfortunately, the entire "making friends" thing hasn't been going at all well. My coworkers tend to the anti-social, and the one person I knew out here works lousy hours and has only been out here for five months... so she can't really help.

I have two tickets for a show this weekend (Dralion from Cirque Du Soliel, if it makes any difference), and desperately don't want to go alone... but really have no one I know to ask. Not as a date, mind you, just... someone to go with me. 'cause paying for two tickets and going alone would be pretty unreasonable... and illogical.

So two weeks ago I blew a great deal of money at a large local store. Met a cute salesgirl, chatted with her four out of the five times I was there in a week. No idea if she's single, but I'm pretty sure she's not married, at least. As I don't really know anyone in the area, hell, I'd ask almost anyone... but I've been shamed into asking her (thank God for relatives...). So I would... but:

I have no idea how to approach this. I'm just an annoying/friendly customer (that distinction makes everything else either MUCH easier or impossible, of course). I don't even think she knows my name -- although name tags made it so that I know hers.

I've never been in a situation where I've walked up to a girl and just asked her out... In college things just kinda... worked out. Enough social opportunities were present that casual conversation could occur before anything meaningful was said... but...

Anyone want to offer any tips, suggestions, guidance, advice, warnings, encouragement (Lots would be preferred, last relationship ended with a few bruises to my ego, so a few "Go boy!" wouldn't hurt, hint, hint, hint).

Any help is much appreciated!

 

[Electric Amish]

Just do her....errr I mean it.

Just tell her you have an extra ticket and you wondered if she wanted to go. Lay your whole story on her.

amish

 

[tontod]

Ask her casually if she's single or not. You wont know unless you ask or it slips out.

 

[MrDingleDangle]

moving to a new city where u dont know many people sux...

<---------just moved to Houston (luckily just for the summer right now)

i wish i could help u...i meet people sometimes but feel weird asking them to go do something, even if i dont mean it as a "date"...and im usually a very outgoing person...

oh well...if u find the secret, let me know

 

[LordSnailz]

damm ... tickets to Cirque Du Soliel! Take me! =) kinda strong for a first date no?

 

[bmacd]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
Just do her....errr I mean it.

Just tell her you have an extra ticket and you wondered if she wanted to go. Lay your whole story on her.

amish

i'd say Amish has the right idea.

And who is this that you're going to see BTW? Music group? Why'd somebody say it was kinda strong?

-=bmacd=-

 

[Nevyn522]

Sorry, guess I should emphasize that it's NOT a date. Have no clue how to do as much with her... Saying it would sound like I wouldn't want to date her (which isn't the case), but it's just that I'm not going at this as a "date me" type event. Just a "Pity the poor fool, go with me!"

And hey, at least it isn't the $170/person VIP seating.

 

[bsobel]

Contrary to popular belief (and what your stomach might tell you), if she says no she'll likely be very nice about it, the whole store won't start laughing at you, and the world won't end.

So, go ask her. If she says yes, great. If she says no, go repeat as neccesary Remember, there are over 3 billion women in the world, the odds of finding one to go out with you are pretty good

Bill

 

[Mucman]

I don't know... I would love to play the "I just moved here and don't know anyone" card. I think most people respond well to it...

What would I do in that situation? Probably go alone and then lie awake in bed reflecting on the million different ways I could have handled the situation better , but that's me

 

[dude]

Just go ask. It can't hurt to try.

If she says no, then give her the tongue flickering action and she'll definately change her mind!

 

[bmacd]

Originally posted by: dude
Just go ask. It can't hurt to try.

If she says no, then give her the tongue flickering action and she'll definately change her mind!

i didn't know that worked both ways. They always did the finger in their mouth thing to me and i turned to butter

-=bmacd=-

 

[TNTrulez]

Originally posted by: tontod
Ask her casually if she's single or not. You wont know unless you ask or it slips out.

 

[tokamak]

confidence is key, my man. being shy and timid will get you nowhere. i know its tough, but you at least have to create the appearance of being confident. just approach (buy something small if you have to), start up a conversation (*how are you today, blah blah, etc*) and then be all *hey i got an extra ticket to see cirque du soleil on friday (or whenever), you wanna come along?* btw, cirque du soleil is cool, so if she's single, i'd say your chances are good.

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: Nevyn522
Sorry, guess I should emphasize that it's NOT a date. Have no clue how to do as much with her... Saying it would sound like I wouldn't want to date her (which isn't the case), but it's just that I'm not going at this as a "date me" type event. Just a "Pity the poor fool, go with me!"

And hey, at least it isn't the $170/person VIP seating.

You cannot ask her to go without her assuming it is a "date". So if it is not a "date" don't ask at all. If you try to say it is not a date, she will think you are really lame or you will offend her. If she is someone you might like to date, then go for it. btw, I'm not saying men and women can't be friends, but approaching a near-stranger like that for a friendly visit to the circus will sound very strained.

 

[weezergirl]

I was going to say I'll go but then I read that you live in WA

Anyways, my advice to you is to just say what you have just told us. Just be honest and maybe you'll make a new friend! Besides, it's a free ticket to Cirque Du Soleil!!! Ok, maybe i'm a dork, but I'd wanna go.

 

[Nevyn522]

Thanks weezergirl -- hope she's as enthusiastic as you.

Thanks all for your encouragement... and hopefully I'll find one in the 3 billion to go with me Sunday... so I can avoid lying in bed, pondering what I did wrong. Which I usually do, too.

 

[Mucman]

so I can avoid lying in bed, pondering what I did wrong. Which I usually do, too.

I'm not the only one! :Q

 

[Tiger]

How to approach an unknown employee for a "date"?

Very carefully lest you get brought up on sexual harassment charges.
Think I'm kidding?

 

[Nevyn522]

Originally posted by: Tiger

How to approach an unknown employee for a "date"?

Very carefully lest you get brought up on sexual harassment charges.
Think I'm kidding?

Not really, although I'd think that I would need to work in at least the same company before I'd have to worry about being fired...

 

[gotsmack]

Originally posted by: bsobel
Contrary to popular belief (and what your stomach might tell you), if she says no she'll likely be very nice about it, the whole store won't start laughing at you, and the world won't end.

So, go ask her. If she says yes, great. If she says no, go repeat as neccesary Remember, there are over 3 billion women in the world, the odds of finding one to go out with you are pretty good

Bill

unless she "accidently" leaves the intercom on during peak hours and she then proceds to berate you, the entire store will then point and laugh. you then will never be able to shop in tyhat store again. and have to avoid people who were in the store at that time. unfortunately you will be in that weeks local paper on the front page because one of her coworkers is the editor. and all of this is going to build up to a webpage about your encounter and picture from the security camera or maybe the entire conversation in a movie file and then linked to losers.org . this will cause 1/2 million hits in the first 1/2 hour and then linked here on AT. Someone who knows you in real life and on the forums will identify the person as you. you will have to then move to the boonies, under go painful plastic surgery to change your entire face, change your name, and try to forget your past by drinking a river of beer.


but hey, thats the worst that could happen.

 

[Balthazar]

"I can't just go up to her and ask her out, I'm just another @$$hole customer."

hehehehe, tell her to meet you at flingers

 

[oLLie]

chit-chat......
"Hey I was wondering if you were doing something on ____"
1. "No not really" 2. "Actually I am"
1. "Do you want to go to a show with me, it's supposed to be really good. I have two tickets and I really don't want to go alone, it wouldn't have to be as a date or anything" 2. "Do you have a friend who might want to go to a show with me, it's supposed to be really good. I have two tickets and I don't want to go by myself."
...more chit-chat

Basically... the stuff you just told us. Have a little confidence, and everythang's gonna be AWWWWWWLLLL WHITE.

 

[ander]

Wow, hefty. Good luck with that!!!

 

[Nevyn522]

Just so that everyone (if anyone cares) can feel closure on this... I went down to the store today, psyched to ask her. I was scared as hell, of course. Well...







She had the day off.

 

[bmacd]

That soooo sucks. I've been there too...all pumped up to ask them, and the timing just wasn't right or she couldn't get away for a minute....Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

-=bmacd=-