How the heck do I get over a first 'love' (obsession)

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Scouzer

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,358
5
0
Basic situation (I'm in Gr9)

Late January
Started talking to a girl I've had a crush on
Good signs, she liked to talk to me, always nice, came over to my house twice, sat on my lap, flirting...all the good stuff

Early Febuary
After the 2nd time she came over i was pretty much obsessed cuz i thought for sure she liked me...

Mid Febuary
Then people start giving it attention, continually asking her if she likes me, asking her out when I didnt ask for...always no's...
She didnt want to come over anymore..
But she remained flirtatious, called me often, really friendly, wanted to talk...

Early March

I had extremely reliable connections including her best friend and several of her decent friends...all of them told me nope...she didnt like me
Remained flirtatious, called me often, really friendly, wanted to talk...

Fast forward
Now
Learned from herself she never liked me and apparently never did
My obsession is still here in full force
Another guy she likes and wants him to ask her out is going to on saturday (who is apparently not as good looking as me according to my girl friends and a loser AND doesnt even like her much...)
Still calls me like I don't know what is happening...but when she calls now i talk to her for like <5 minutes, make an excuse, hangup... she's just fvcking mocking me....
Still flirtatious, calls me often, really friendly, wants to talk...

Like wtf... totally played...and now I'm stuck totally in love and nowhere to go...I need some help...


P.S. I'm not a total loser...
 
A

Angrymarshmello

Lifer
Apr 5, 2000
13,256
1
0
Just forget her - it'll be hard and it will take a few days (I remember trying to get over my first crush - I never felt so lonely or heartbroken before - I remember nothing interested me for a couple days straight)
 
T

tweakmm

Lifer
May 28, 2001
18,436
4
0
You were never going out. You never really shared any feelings towards each other. This is alot less of a first 'love' and more of a first obsession
give it a couple weeks, listen to angry music and get drunk with some friends(if you do that, if not, you shouldn't start)
 
T

ThaGrandCow

Diamond Member
Dec 27, 2001
7,956
2
0
Every person goes through something like that. The easiest way to get over her is to look at your other prospects and try asking another girl out. You're obsessed right now because that's the only woman you are seeing. Open your eyes, look around a bit. You should be over her in no time.
 
BigFatCow

BigFatCow

Diamond Member
Aug 11, 2001
3,373
1
0
she just wants to be your friend...dont blow the friendship you have with her now by doing something stupid.
 
Scouzer

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,358
5
0


<< Every person goes through something like that. The easiest way to get over her is to look at your other prospects and try asking another girl out. You're obsessed right now because that's the only woman you are seeing. Open your eyes, look around a bit. You should be over her in no time. >>




I am fully aware of that... except I've pretty much got no chances left of anyone I'm interested in, and no one already likes me. I'm kind of in a rut until next year when I'll meet 4 new people for every 1 from my school...



Oh man she's so terrible as a friend... she couldn't care less about me and she's a total dumbass...well thats a hell of a realization I just had...why the fvck would I want a girl I have nothing in common with...AGH
 
H

Heisenberg

Lifer
Dec 21, 2001
10,621
1
0
I just went through a very similar experience. Got much more friendly with a girl I've sort of known for a while recently. I thought things were going pretty well, and then I found out she's interested in a guy I know of all people. I apparently just completely misread the signals on this one. Wish I could offer some advice. The only thing I can say is it happens to other people too so you're by no means alone. This just further reinforces my theory that life's just one big kick in the junk.
 
Scouzer

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,358
5
0
I'm so confused right now... welcome to my obvious realization of nothing in common... we can always talk and laugh... but none of our interests are the same and she's a TOTAL DUMB$HIT whereas I got a few brain cells around...but she's hot and I guess I liked her for that... and she takes nothing seriously...life is a breeze for her because everything is a joke... make a huge insult on her she laughs...its pathetic yet relieving...
 
G

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
2
0


<< I'm so confused right now... welcome to my obvious realization of nothing in common... we can always talk and laugh... but none of our interests are the same and she's a TOTAL DUMB$HIT whereas I got a few brain cells around...but she's hot and I guess I liked her for that... and she takes nothing seriously...life is a breeze for her because everything is a joke... make a huge insult on her she laughs...its pathetic yet relieving... >>



okay since i feel like giving more advice than to watch a movie (though you should still watch it, trust me, it is what the doctor ordered):

if you really want to get over this girl, break contact for at least 3 months. no chit chat, no phone, no aim, no email, no nothing. no contact. do not even see her, wave hi, or anything. avoid her for 3 months.
 
Scouzer

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,358
5
0
Well I went a stint of 2 weeks without talking... I can't do it until summer break because she's friends with all my friends and its just too awkward...
 
G

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
2
0


<< Well I went a stint of 2 weeks without talking... I can't do it until summer break because she's friends with all my friends and its just too awkward... >>



*shrug* i think you don't want to do it... that's okay. you will eventually go through enough pain and suffering to bring you to the realization that i was right all along. :D
 
O

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81


<< Well I went a stint of 2 weeks without talking... I can't do it until summer break because she's friends with all my friends and its just too awkward... >>



I agree, cutting off ties will probably be the best thing to do. It's difficult to do when you share lots of mutual friends... I would say, just try and endure it, knowing that summer is coming up; if you can, try to hang out with some other women, make some friendships, if you can. Always worked for me.
 
iamwiz82

iamwiz82

Lifer
Jan 10, 2001
30,772
13
81
let me tell you right now, you are NOT in love. Look back in 10 years and tell ask yourself if there was really love there, and you will be suprised by your answer.
 
J

J3anyus

Platinum Member
Mar 30, 2001
2,774
0
76
Ah, welcome to the world of women. I can't give you much advice, just prepare for hell :)
 
Scouzer

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,358
5
0


<< Ah, welcome to the world of women. I can't give you much advice, just prepare for hell :) >>




lol...you sound like my dad


I'd like to just stop talking to her, I really would because I can find I can get over her moderately when I'm angry...but the mutual friends and she's in all my classes makes it hard... I'm standing talking to my friends and she's right there...
 
Kadarin

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81


<< 2 words! nudie bar!

mix some alcohol..bring some friends. >>



Dude, the guy's in 9th grade! In fact, that's the crux of the entire problem...

So how do you get over a first "love"? Several ways: Time (long and painful), being a hermit and obsessing with schoolwork (not socially rewarding), a 2nd love (quick and easy)...
 
PowerEngineer

PowerEngineer

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2001
3,606
786
136


<< [why the fvck would I want a girl I have nothing in common with...AGH >>



Two word answer: raging hormones. And these too shall pass...in a decade or two ;)

Try not to take any high school romances too seriously. Look forward to the next few years as a sometimes fun, sometimes frustrating learning experience that most of us now laugh about when we remember how inept we were.
 
J

Jfur

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2001
6,044
0
0
Some honest advice for you from a woman:

1) She knows you like her
2) She is messing with you, initiating things and flirting :disgust:
3) That is rancid :disgust::disgust:
4) You need to stand up! Get a little angry about her egotistical power trip (but just to yourself) and realize she is not worth it and her positive attributes were mainly a product of your imagination :|
5) Standing up also entails avoiding her (politely) and making a point of not being available and eager for her ego-bosst (her ego) phone calls and flirtations :)
6) This will restore your self esteem and make you hard to walk all over :D
7) This will make you attractive to other women, and you will have the initiative to move on :D :D
 
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