How 'sheltered' do you(should one) keep their child

dugweb

Diamond Member
Oct 17, 2002
3,935
1
81
I haven't given this a lot of thought before posting. No I don't have any kids of my own.

How long, and how much should you shelter your child?

some questions I was wondering on.

Like, at what age do you start explaining sex, and when do you bring up homosexuals? How do you bring it up? How sexually active lifestyles can affect your future, safe sex etc.

Illegal drugs, the effects of them, and how much detail? (i.e. there are different ways of taking drugs like through a needle to the arm, or snuffing... where do you stop?)


In which environment (very sheltered, or the oppisite) would the child have a greater advantage, say in terms of business success, social success, tolerance, understanding. whatever advantages that the child could posess from one form of education vs the other.


(sorry if these questions are terribly naive)
The reasons I ask: I'm thinking about researching more into this topic, and writing a paper on it. Also, I am of the opinion that there should be full disclosure of information in anycase. That might sound idealistic, but basically I don't like the idea of censoring information. But I don't have any kids, and am not sure how that would change with a kid. Obviously age appropriate things should be taught, but what is age appropriate basically is what i'm asking.
 

FoBoT

No Lifer
Apr 30, 2001
63,089
12
76
fobot.com
they don't come with instructions

so you make it up as you go along

each kid is different too, so what works for one, might not be the right thing for the other(s)


so you have to wing it
 

NanoStuff

Banned
Mar 23, 2006
2,981
1
0
When it comes to drugs, you should start them early so they develop a tolerance for their later years. When it comes to sex, I suspect the same, get them started before puberty so once they reach an age of potential pregnancy they will be tired of it.
 

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
Censoring information is something that really irks me. However, young children don't particularly need to be exposed to certain subjects until they get a little older. You wouldn't want a 4 year old watching Schindler's List, for example. Thats not a subject they need to be exposed to yet.

Spankings work along a similar principle. They work well when the children are young, but after a certain age, they are useless.
 

Turin39789

Lifer
Nov 21, 2000
12,219
8
81
Sparta Style. Raise them until they are 7, then put them out on the streets in a strange part of town. Repeat until one returns to your home as a successful adult.
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
45,521
31,930
136
Parents should start discussing drugs and sexuality with their children pre-puberty. By the time most parents think their childen are mature enough it is almost always too late.
 

jagec

Lifer
Apr 30, 2004
24,442
6
81

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN
From the London Times, London Mills, Illinois, 1891

Hints to Workingmen by the Society
for the Diffusion of Useful Information
Among the Poor.

F. R. HAYES.

The ungrateful and immoral hesitation of
many working men to marry, thus curtailing the
supply of future labor, is inexcusable. Any
industrious man can afford to raise children,
and with proper management they soon become
a source of income, enabling the parents to
subsist on lower wages, increasing the
dividends of employers and thus enlarging the
support of church and state, and the spread of
the gospel of Christian civilization and the
heathen in foreign lands.

The proper time for children to be born is in
the latter part of spring, when the weather is
mild. Soon after birth the infant should be put
into a pen in which is a plentiful supply of
loose dirt. An old barrel or box, containing
some straw will answer for shelter from sun or
rain. At the top of the pen a tomato can,
containing milk should be placed and a tube
hanging from this with a nipple at the end will
supply the child with nourishment.

Now, by this judicious and inexpensive
arrangement the mother can be at work soon
after confinement. It costs no more to raise
children than it does to raise pigs, and the
former are more profitable, for when put at
work (which can be done soon after they begin
to walk) they become a source of steady
income; whereas a pig brings a certain sum and
then is of no further value. It is indeed a waste
of material to feed a pig, when the same food
will keep a child. Nutritious swill can be had
for little or nothing, and this homely food,
spiritualized, so to speak, in the form of
working energy in the child, can be
transformed into wages. No labor is so
profitable as child labor; and when such profits
enable the employer to contribute to the spread
of the gospel of light, in benighted heathendom,
we see the blessings that flow from the proper
use of swill, consecrated to the use of the Lord.

What working people need in order to marry
and propagate children is not higher wages, but
a spirit of humility and a recognition of the
duty they owe to their employers. Let them
bring up children in habits of self-denial and
industry, and so make of them contented
citizens, patriotically contributing to the wealth
and enlargement of their country's empire, and
the glory of its industrial magnates and rulers.
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,209
10,730
136
Originally posted by: jagec

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN
From the London Times, London Mills, Illinois, 1891

Hints to Workingmen by the Society
for the Diffusion of Useful Information
Among the Poor.

F. R. HAYES.

The ungrateful and immoral hesitation of
many working men to marry, thus curtailing the
supply of future labor, is inexcusable. Any
industrious man can afford to raise children,
and with proper management they soon become
a source of income, enabling the parents to
subsist on lower wages, increasing the
dividends of employers and thus enlarging the
support of church and state, and the spread of
the gospel of Christian civilization and the
heathen in foreign lands.

The proper time for children to be born is in
the latter part of spring, when the weather is
mild. Soon after birth the infant should be put
into a pen in which is a plentiful supply of
loose dirt. An old barrel or box, containing
some straw will answer for shelter from sun or
rain. At the top of the pen a tomato can,
containing milk should be placed and a tube
hanging from this with a nipple at the end will
supply the child with nourishment.

Now, by this judicious and inexpensive
arrangement the mother can be at work soon
after confinement. It costs no more to raise
children than it does to raise pigs, and the
former are more profitable, for when put at
work (which can be done soon after they begin
to walk) they become a source of steady
income; whereas a pig brings a certain sum and
then is of no further value. It is indeed a waste
of material to feed a pig, when the same food
will keep a child. Nutritious swill can be had
for little or nothing, and this homely food,
spiritualized, so to speak, in the form of
working energy in the child, can be
transformed into wages. No labor is so
profitable as child labor; and when such profits
enable the employer to contribute to the spread
of the gospel of light, in benighted heathendom,
we see the blessings that flow from the proper
use of swill, consecrated to the use of the Lord.

What working people need in order to marry
and propagate children is not higher wages, but
a spirit of humility and a recognition of the
duty they owe to their employers. Let them
bring up children in habits of self-denial and
industry, and so make of them contented
citizens, patriotically contributing to the wealth
and enlargement of their country's empire, and
the glory of its industrial magnates and rulers.



:laugh:

 
Oct 25, 2006
11,036
11
91
Its really weird. I grew up REALLY sheltered. I was the most naive person in the world till about 8th grade. Nothing ever happened to me. No drugs, no sex, no stupid things... I guess I must have been lucky.
 

legoman666

Diamond Member
Dec 18, 2003
3,629
1
0
Originally posted by: tenshodo13
Its really weird. I grew up REALLY sheltered. I was the most naive person in the world till about 8th grade. Nothing ever happened to me. No drugs, no sex, no stupid things... I guess I must have been lucky.

if you're lucky because you didnt do drugs or drink (you didn't explicitly state this, but it's an educated guess) then I wonder what that makes me...

20 years old and no drugs or alcohol have ever entered my body. I guess I'm an anomaly.
 

mattocs

Platinum Member
Jan 25, 2005
2,246
0
0
Knew of sex from a very young age. A friend of mine has an older brother who would always try and get me to smoke pot with him when I was 11. First smoked pot when I was 13. My mom was great. I have a gay aunt, so I knew about homosexuals and that it was perfectly alright.

Most of my friends who grew up sheltered had nutty religious parents.
 

youngnhorny

Banned
Oct 16, 2007
12
0
0
I would tell my child everything and tell them to make up their own mind. Any of my own children hould easily be able to make the smart choice....
 

JEDI

Lifer
Sep 25, 2001
30,160
3,300
126
Originally posted by: dugweb
I haven't given this a lot of thought before posting. No I don't have any kids of my own.

How long, and how much should you shelter your child?

some questions I was wondering on.

Like, at what age do you start explaining sex, and when do you bring up homosexuals? How do you bring it up? How sexually active lifestyles can affect your future, safe sex etc.

Illegal drugs, the effects of them, and how much detail? (i.e. there are different ways of taking drugs like through a needle to the arm, or snuffing... where do you stop?)


In which environment (very sheltered, or the oppisite) would the child have a greater advantage, say in terms of business success, social success, tolerance, understanding. whatever advantages that the child could posess from one form of education vs the other.


(sorry if these questions are terribly naive)
The reasons I ask: I'm thinking about researching more into this topic, and writing a paper on it. Also, I am of the opinion that there should be full disclosure of information in anycase. That might sound idealistic, but basically I don't like the idea of censoring information. But I don't have any kids, and am not sure how that would change with a kid. Obviously age appropriate things should be taught, but what is age appropriate basically is what i'm asking.

at pubity, give her a xxx tape and a vibe. or give him a fleshlight. they'll figure it out.

in this world, aggression >> pacifist

if he runs into a problem, give suggestions as how to fix it, but let HIM do it. dont get directly invovled.

and i've never smoked a cig in my life, whereas my sister started at 15 :(

i never found cigs that attractive and cool.
no idea what was the difference. we had the same parents, lived in the same house., etc
 

Mr Incognito

Golden Member
Feb 20, 2007
1,035
0
0
All you can do is be upfront and frank with him. If you don't want him doing something, tell him why. How many times as a child did you hear "...just because I said so" from your parents and how many times was that not a complete answer and you complain to your friends. I'm only 20, so I don't know much but that is what I'm going to do. I don't want to patronize my kid until he's 'old enough' to understand.
 

pcslookout

Lifer
Mar 18, 2007
11,915
142
106
I would of rather known everything as soon as possible. I like knowing the truth about all the wars.
 

Kirby

Lifer
Apr 10, 2006
12,032
2
0
Originally posted by: pcslookout
I would of rather known everything as soon as possible. I like knowing the truth about all the wars.

What about the truth about Google?
 

Joemonkey

Diamond Member
Mar 3, 2001
8,862
2
0
I'm surprised the most hurtful, dreadful, horrible thing to push upon children didn't make it into your post... but anyway

I try to shy my 2.5yo daughter away from violence, but she is a huge spiderman fan, and I make it a point to watch the movies with her but also make it a point to distract her during the most violent scenes. I suppose I'll be crucified for this, but I would much prefer she sees nudity and sexuality than violence. When it comes to generally being around the house (getting out of the shower and such, movies, etc.) we don't try to hide nudity at all. As far as we are concerned, it is literally the most natural thing in the world. When she starts to ask why daddy is different than her and mommy, I think we'll be ok to explain sex on a biological level, no matter how old she is.

As far as homosexuals, safe sex, etc. it will all be explained when she is curious about those things, and due to the very open relationship we have I don't think either will be an issue

The social aspect probably is based on the parents core values. If you're easy going, hopefully your children will be informed enough to make their own decisions. If you're forcing ideas down their throat, then good luck.
 

NanoStuff

Banned
Mar 23, 2006
2,981
1
0
One word of advice, don't get nuts about it. Nothing more than a tall fence under low voltage is necessary.
 

SirStev0

Lifer
Nov 13, 2003
10,449
6
81
My parents were pretty honest with me right before I hit puberty and teen years... let me make my own decisions but told me what they learned from theirs... hell I have experimented but I think I turned out alright... hope that I can do the same with my youngin's ... when I have them.
 

Soundmanred

Lifer
Oct 26, 2006
10,784
6
81
Originally posted by: nkgreen
Originally posted by: pcslookout
I would of rather known everything as soon as possible. I like knowing the truth about all the wars.

What about the truth about Google?

That's what he means, the Google Wars. The ones going on in his mind.
Why did I tell them that? I don't know, just avoid it. Why did I tell them that? I don't know, just avoid it. Why did I tell them that? I don't know, just avoid it. Why did I tell them that? I don't know, just avoid it. Why did I tell them that? I don't know, just avoid it. Why did I tell them that? I just wanted to be cool. Just to be cool. To be cool. Be cool. Cool.

pcslookoutz, I hope to the Lord above you never have kids. I'm sure I have no reason to worry though...
 

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,816
83
91
my parents didn't shelter me at all... they were mostly focused on my sister, so I was left to do whatever I wanted by and large, whether it was listening to late-night sex radio shows on the radio (omg Dr. Judy ftw) or reading whatever I could find on the early 90's internet.

outside of the fact that I curse like a sailor, I think I came out alright. :)
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,303
15
81
What really kills me these days is this new trend of not letting your kids play outside for fear of them getting hurt and/or kidnapped. Kids need to be taught how to be safe and recognize danger, and they also need to experience the world.
 

state 08

Platinum Member
Jun 6, 2005
2,009
0
0
The world starting raping me as early as 5th grade.

5th grade:
-Exposed to porn, and visited such sites prolly 3-4 times a month.
-Exposed to friends smoking (rolled up grass... now that i think about it, kinda funny)

Middle School
-Peer pressure (Stealing, and so called "gangs" that stuck close and observed the all for one 1 for all mentality when it came to fighting)
-Music with explicit lyrics
-Smoking with cigs
-Sex

High School:
-Drinking, minor acts of vandalism

 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,599
19
81
Originally posted by: jagec

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN
From the London Times, London Mills, Illinois, 1891

Hints to Workingmen by the Society
for the Diffusion of Useful Information
Among the Poor.

F. R. HAYES.

......
The author of the books, "Having Children for Fun and Profit!" and "Breeding Your Own Workforce."
:D



Originally posted by: tenshodo13
Its really weird. I grew up REALLY sheltered. I was the most naive person in the world till about 8th grade. Nothing ever happened to me. No drugs, no sex, no stupid things... I guess I must have been lucky.
And you won't always hear about everything in school. I'd heard terminology, such as "boner," "reefer," or "swirly," but I didn't know what any of them meant. If I'd kindly inquire as to the meaning, I'd get laughed at for not knowing, and would thus remain unknowing of various definitions. At some point I just gave up on learning. I think it was sometime after high school when I finally started acquiring this sort of information.
Drugs - I never wanted them, nor did I understand the attraction. Cause health problems and temporarily lose some self-control and mental discipline? This is fun why?
Sex - the opportunity never presented itself, so it wasn't an issue.
Stupid things - I stopped doing stupid things when I was 4. Since then, it's been smooth sailing. ;)

"Learning about homosexuals" - at some point I found out that some people liked being with others of the same sex. Life went on like nothing had ever happened, because it wasn't a big deal.