How much time should one spend with a girlfriend/boyfriend?

[AShadeOfClear]

My ex-girlfriend and I spent way too much time with each other, it seems -- Chatting over the 'net, on the phone, etc etc. Even though it didn't seem so bad, I think it was bad for our relationship. I think you need a good amount of time away from each other to keep the relationship interesting (Or is it that spending alot of time with a girlfriend would show you much faster if the relationship is to succeed or not?)

So, how much time would you say you spend with your girlfriend or boyfriend each week?

 

[Kelvrick]

Currently 2-3 hours each night over aim/webcam. Of course, this is summer and we're hundreds of miles away. She's also coming to visit for a few days in a few days.

I'm sure once school starts and us living only like 2 blocks apart, we'll be spending a lot more time together.

 

[AShadeOfClear]

Okay, this is what I'm trying to find out.

What is the "sweet spot" of time that should be spent with e/o?

Does spending "too much" time with each other definitely lead to a decline in a relationship or does it "speed up time" to show you that you and this girl aren't meant to be?

Should you expect it to reduce as your relationship goes into a few years, or would that be an indicator of a failling relationship?

I don't think married people spend as much time with each other as my ex and I did.

 

[chrisjor]

This new age crap is throwing me off.....you spend hours with her on the Internet? Look...if she's putting out, spend every minute of your life with her. If she is nagging, bossy, controlling, non-sex having......C-YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Kelvrick]

I figure whatever feels comfortable. If you're still hanging out with nothing to do and nothign to talk about and thinking of other things, then its too much. I'll be one of the first to say that I really enjoy just sitting around cuddling though.

Even after spending a lot of time with each other, you should still miss em and want to spend time. Thats how I think at least.

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: chrisjor
This new age crap is throwing me off.....you spend hours with her on the Internet? Look...if she's putting out, spend every minute of your life with her. If she is nagging, bossy, controlling, non-sex having......C-YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

?? Why are you bagging on me spending time with my girl over the internet? I'm not the one asking the question here and I don't wanna pay a biggo phone bill. Its free and we can actually see each other.

 

[tommigsr]

there's not really a "sweet spot" for everyone, but it is all preference. Maybe you think one way and she could think another way. One could say 1 hour a day or one could say 24 hours a day, it all depends on the two of you. I know that my g/f wants to be with me 24/7, and I only want 15/7 ...you have to compromise.

 

[chrisjor]

Are you wearing clothes when you "see" each other?

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: chrisjor
Are you wearing clothes when you "see" each other?

Whatever, I'm not gonna bother talking about this anymore. I'm happy with what I do, so screw off.

 

[AShadeOfClear]

I would prefer to be right next to the person (as Kelvrick said, she and I could cuddle), but internet & phone can be good too. Unless of course your like chrisjor and only want sex.

 

[Nutdotnet]

I say spend as much time as you feel is necessary. Everyone is different, some people do need more space than others do. Personally I need my space, but my so called "girlfriend" is giving me WAY too much space, seeing each other at work and maybe two-three nights a week is definetly not enough for me...I think I need to find someone else, she is just so damn hot.

 

[chrisjor]

What????? I don't only want sex. I just can't figure out what the hell you guys are always talking about. I am 35 years old...I'm not old..I'm not young. Women are the same, they always have been...they always will be. They are more shallow than a mud puddle. You better offer them one of two things.......great sex...or much security (money!!!!). Yeah...lots of them will pop in and post how they love they're man 'cause he's a great guy......well, get the guy on here. He was either good looking, popular, wealthy or exciting. There is a pillow in every man's bed. They can lay on any of them....what makes yours special or unique?

I chatted with her for 2 hours over the net...she was in a dorm 100 yards away. Sneak over there and lay it on her!!!!!!!! She wasn't worth more than a log on? She was as hot as a hot deal at AT?

Whatever.

 

[chrisjor]

Hell....she demands your undivided attention!! If she is the right girl....she deserves it.


Chat with her on AIM for awhile.....women judge men by the keyboarding skills they have!!!!

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: chrisjor
What????? I don't only want sex. I just can't figure out what the hell you guys are always talking about. I am 35 years old...I'm not old..I'm not young. Women are the same, they always have been...they always will be. They are more shallow than a mud puddle. You better offer them one of two things.......great sex...or much security (money!!!!). Yeah...lots of them will pop in and post how they love they're man 'cause he's a great guy......well, get the guy on here. He was either good looking, popular, wealthy or exciting. There is a pillow in every man's bed. They can lay on any of them....what makes yours special or unique?

I chatted with her for 2 hours over the net...she was in a dorm 100 yards away. Sneak over there and lay it on her!!!!!!!! She wasn't worth more than a log on? She was as hot as a hot deal at AT?

Whatever.

You can't understand us, we can't understand you either. Well, at least I can't.

I think that 2nd paragraph was directed at me. We got together during the school year and did whatever we wanted. Then, summer rolled around and I went to southern california for the summer while she stayed in northern california. Naturally, we can't see each other so at night after we come home from work/summer school we'll talk with each other on the internet.

 

[Deeko]

I am with my girlfriend 3-4 days a week. To me, that's not enough, but its all we can do. We talk every day on the phone, and almost all day we chat over text messaging on our cell phones(kinda natural for us since thats how we met...long story). Our relationship is very serious for people our age though. Its gonna hurt when I go to college in 2 months At least I'm only gonna be an hour away.

 

[notfred]

However much time you guys want.

 

[psteng19]

Originally posted by: chrisjor
What????? I don't only want sex. I just can't figure out what the hell you guys are always talking about. I am 35 years old...I'm not old..I'm not young. Women are the same, they always have been...they always will be. They are more shallow than a mud puddle. You better offer them one of two things.......great sex...or much security (money!!!!). Yeah...lots of them will pop in and post how they love they're man 'cause he's a great guy......well, get the guy on here. He was either good looking, popular, wealthy or exciting. There is a pillow in every man's bed. They can lay on any of them....what makes yours special or unique?

I chatted with her for 2 hours over the net...she was in a dorm 100 yards away. Sneak over there and lay it on her!!!!!!!! She wasn't worth more than a log on? She was as hot as a hot deal at AT?

Whatever.

I'm none of the above (good looking, popular, wealthy, exciting) and yet she still loves me.

You must have had some eff'd up relationships...
By the things you've stated, I assume you're single and will probably stay like that with the mindset that you have there.

Back to the topic.
I'm in a semi-long distance relationship (50 looong miles due to traffic and bridges/tunnels/tolls) and keep in touch by talking on the phone and AIM, and seeing each other once or twice a week. To us, it's not enough, but we have to deal with being young and poor.
Keeping communication when face-to-face is not possible is better than no communication at all.

But back when we were local (10 miles), we used to see each other 4-5 times a week and it was just right. But even then, we still talked on the phone and AIM after seeing each other.
While in school on campus, we saw each other all day 24/7 except in classes (I even went to her classes sometimes).

We're very attached and I think that's a good thing for us.

Do what you both feel is right.

 

[TNTrulez]

Doesn't it get boring if yo uspend too much time with your gf?

 

[chrisjor]

well..first off..I do not intend to be insulting. You are correct, I cannot figure out what you guys are dealing with. I recently lost a long term relationship because of exactly what you guys are doing. She told me "email, cell phone calls, all that stuff is great.......but, where were you? Hell, I thought I was with her at all times. I knew where and what she was doing...I realized that I was never at her side when this was happening.

I will stay away from this thread now....just remember.......A word face to face is worth a million over the phone.

 

[chrisjor]

Also...I guess if the average age of the guys posting here is 17, well....just forget it.

 

[Deeko]

What????? I don't only want sex. I just can't figure out what the hell you guys are always talking about. I am 35 years old...I'm not old..I'm not young. Women are the same, they always have been...they always will be. They are more shallow than a mud puddle. You better offer them one of two things.......great sex...or much security (money!!!!). Yeah...lots of them will pop in and post how they love they're man 'cause he's a great guy......well, get the guy on here. He was either good looking, popular, wealthy or exciting. There is a pillow in every man's bed. They can lay on any of them....what makes yours special or unique?

I chatted with her for 2 hours over the net...she was in a dorm 100 yards away. Sneak over there and lay it on her!!!!!!!! She wasn't worth more than a log on? She was as hot as a hot deal at AT?

Whatever.

Poor, poor person. I met my girlfriend over text messaging. She didn't know if I was good looking, popular, wealthy, whatever. Did she find that I naturally am all of those things in time? Of course lol....but regardless, we fell for each other based on personality. Two people in a relationship can actually like each other ya know.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Kelvrick

Originally posted by: chrisjor
Are you wearing clothes when you "see" each other?

Whatever, I'm not gonna bother talking about this anymore. I'm happy with what I do, so screw off.

This is probably the most intelligent thing I've read all day, the only [eople you've got to worry about pleasing are yourself and your lady

 

[Whisper]

Yeah, there is no one answer that's always right for any question dealing with relationships. If you look for one, you'll always be disappointed.

What I've learned about these things is that people tend to ask for advice far, far too often...and other people tend to give advice far, far too often. Relationship advice is overrated; everyone almost always knows what they SHOULD or WANT to do in a situation, they just don't always like to admit it.

So in this particular instance, just do what feels right to you. If you didn't think you spent too much time with your ex but she did, then obviously you two weren't compatible. Don't go looking to change yourself; not all girls are the same. As such, just look for one that's interested in spending lots of time together.

 

[CrazyDe1]

I'm not one to call and to spend all my time w/ one person. I need my time w/ my girl and my time w/ my boys. Personally, hanging out w/ your girl 3 nights a week and talking on the phone 2 or 3 nights the rest of the week for about an hour is plenty. I would never want a girl whos life revolved around me and had nothing else going on. You gotta have time together, but you also have to have your own space to hangout with your boys and drink beers and go out.

 

[chrisjor]

I lied...I'm back. You guys are right...I'm chatting with girls over the internet right now!! They are all 12 and they like boy bands!!!! I told them I sing in one, they think I have a great personality!!! Now I guess I will whine at ATOT when one of them "break up" with me!!!